He and Luke were the only ones who didn’t have girlfriends.
‘I’ll be leaving Jenny behind,’ I said. And for the first time I pictured how that would be.
‘You don’t understand,’ Jeff said earnestly. ‘It’s different with me and Veronica.’
‘Look,’ I said, losing patience. ‘You don’t have to come. It’s your choice. But if you don’t, then Maurie won’t either.’
Jeff glanced at Maurie. ‘Really?’
Maurie shrugged, embarrassed now. Jeff seemed genuinely touched. Suddenly it had become a choice between Maurie and Veronica. And there was only ever going to be one outcome.
‘The Commer’ll not make it to London,’ he said. And immediately all our plans seemed to fall away like sand beneath our feet. But Jeff just grinned. ‘That’s all you wanted me for, wasn’t it? My van.’
I shifted a little uncomfortably. Perhaps there was more than a grain of truth in that. But Jeff was oblivious.
‘It’s not a problem. I can get us something better.’
V
I left a note for my folks on my pillow. I can’t remember now exactly what it was I wrote. Something stupid, about going in search of fame and fortune, and that they shouldn’t worry. We were all going, so we’d be fine. Safety in numbers.
You don’t think at that age how devastating the discovery of such a note would be to your parents. You don’t have the experience, to put yourself in their shoes and imagine how it would feel. Only with time, and children of your own, does the full realization hit you. How thoughtless we were. So hopelessly self-obsessed.
Jeff and Maurie were waiting for me at the end of the road in a green Ford Thames 15cwt van. It looked a little smaller than the Commer, but apart from a few scrapes and bashes it appeared to be in good condition.
‘Where did you get it?’ I said as I climbed up on to the engine cowling between them.
Jeff grinned at me from behind the wheel. ‘Borrowed it. Purrs like a baby, doesn’t she?’ He flicked his head over his shoulder. ‘Maurie and me’ve loaded all the gear. And we stuck an old settee in the back. All the comforts of home.’
‘What did Veronica say?’
A shadow crossed his face, like a cloud blotting out the sun. ‘Don’t even ask.’
Maurie said, ‘She’ll get over it. And so will you.’
But Jeff’s head snapped round, and it was the first time I’d ever heard him raise his voice to Maurie. ‘I told you! It’s different with me and Veronica.’
He crunched the column shift into gear, and we lurched off down the road. I barely had time to glance back at the pebble-harled suburban semi where I had spent my entire life up until that moment. And my stomach lurched as I thought about my folks finding my letter.
Luke was waiting for us at Clarkston Toll, a tall, languid, good-looking boy in jeans and a donkey jacket, a holdall at his feet. He threw it into the back of the van first, then climbed in after it.
‘Where’s the organ?’ Jeff called back at him.
‘It belongs to the school.’
‘You’d only have been borrowing it.’
‘I think they might have called it theft,’ Luke retorted before slamming the door shut.
Jeff glanced at Maurie and me. ‘Jobbies!’ he mouthed.
It was the word he always used for ‘shit’, straight from the primary-school playground. A euphemism he had never grown out of.
The problem came when we arrived outside Dave’s house in Crosslees Drive. The light was fading fast, and we were anxious to be away in case any of the notes we had left were found before we were gone. We sat for several minutes at the gate, engine idling impatiently, Jeff tapping nervously on the wheel.
‘Jobbies!’ he kept muttering. ‘Where the hell is he?’
The house was dilapidated from years of neglect in those days, like a bad tooth in an otherwise pleasant smile. The front garden was overgrown, and there was an old boat rotting on the path.
Honking the horn was out of the question, and no one was going to go to the door.
Luke glanced at his watch, and his voice came to us from the back of the van. ‘Don’t panic yet, he’s only a few minutes late.’
‘Is that earth minutes?’ Maurie said dryly.
Then suddenly Dave’s front door flew open and Dave appeared, wearing jeans and hiking boots, and a green waterproof army jacket. He had a rucksack on his back, full of God knew what, with tin mugs dangling from canvas ties. He pulled the door shut behind him and sprinted through the long grass of the front lawn, to vault over the wall, catching his trailing foot and going sprawling on the pavement.
‘Jesus!’ Maurie cursed under his breath, and he and Luke jumped out to pick Dave up and bundle him into the back of the van.
Jeff turned his head over his shoulder. ‘That’s what I call a quiet exit.’
‘Go! Just go!’ Dave shouted at him.
Jeff gunned the motor and we lurched off down the street.
There was one last stop before we finally got on the road. The boys just wanted to be gone, but I insisted. ‘If we don’t do it, you might as well stop the van and let me out right now,’ I said.
So we made the detour. Via Stamperland.
It was dark by the time we pulled up outside Jenny’s house and Jeff cut the engine. I had phoned her before I left the house and had heard her distress when I told her what we were planning. I’d promised to come and say goodbye. My heart was in my mouth as I hurried up the path.
She must have been watching for me, because the door opened before I got to the top of the steps, and she slipped out into the darkness of the porch, pulling the door to behind her.
‘Jack, this is madness!’ she whispered.
I just took her and held her, feeling the beat of her heart and the warmth of her body, and all the uncertainty of my life welling up inside me. But it was too late for second thoughts now.
‘I’ll send for you,’ I said, knowing that I wouldn’t. ‘Just as soon as we’re settled and we get things sorted.’
She untangled herself from my arms and stood back, looking at me. ‘Do you think I’m daft, Jack? If you go, you’re gone. I’ll never see you again.’
‘Don’t say that.’
‘Why? Because you don’t want to hear the truth? Because you’re living out some fantasy and you don’t want to know that there’ll be consequences?’
I didn’t know what to say. I had never heard her so forthright before.
‘We’ll be fine,’ I said lamely.
‘No, you won’t. It’ll be a bloody disaster. You’re just kids. You haven’t thought this through.’
‘Sometimes you’ve just got to do stuff. You can overthink things.’
‘Says the voice of experience.’
I could hear the sarcasm in her voice.
From somewhere inside the house we heard her father calling, ‘Who’s that?’
‘Just a friend,’ she called back. Then she turned to me, her voice a whisper in the dark. ‘Call me, Jack, please. First stop on the road. Let me know you’re alright.’
I pulled her back into my arms and kissed her with a sort of passionate desperation. This was all so much harder than I had ever stopped to imagine. ‘I will,’ I said.
‘Promise!’
‘I promise.’
And I was gone.
2015
Chapter four
I
His automatic weapon tracked from side to side as the soldier stepped carefully through the rubble of the bombed-out building. Wisps of smoke drifted across a devastated landscape, and Jack could hear the rattle of distant gunfire and men crying out. An enemy combatant swung suddenly into view from behind a broken-down wall. The soldier reacted before his adversary could release shots in his direction. The sound of gunfire was almost deafening as the string of bullets from the soldier’s gun blew his enemy apart. There were body pieces and blood everywhere.