Gretchen knew better than to lie to her sister, but she wouldn’t give her the whole truth. How could she? “Not really, no. I got a little creeped out in the woods, that’s all. I don’t even know why I went out there.”
May inspected her sister’s face. “Yes, you do.”
Yes, Gretchen did, but she wasn’t prepared to admit it. There was no woman out there; it was just a wolf. Sad, yes, but just a wolf. It had nothing to do with her. She’d been tricked by her own imagination. She wouldn’t let it happen again.
“Well, you just take it easy, okay?”
“Promise. I’m going to get cleaned up and then I’ll help you with supper.”
“Good. There was a sale on ribs and I grabbed a few packs. We’re having those.”
In the shower, Gretchen scrubbed her body until her flesh glowed a pale red. No matter how she tried, the wolf would not wash away. She wept, quietly so May wouldn’t hear her, unable to contain the emotions that wanted to pull her to the tiled floor.
The monster had been so close. Too close. She still felt it lurking now, just there where she could almost touch it, if she reached a hand into herself. It, she, was howling in frustration. It felt terror and again that same rage. Gretchen was overcome with a scent she couldn’t possibly, as a human, comprehend. As the hot water finally wore away her confusion, a clear thought evolved in her mind.
I was certain there was a woman in that cage.
But it was the wolf’s foul memory describing that figure, not hers. Gretchen shook the water from her hair. There was not much difference remaining between them, and she was terrified.
The two conflicting memories tortured her throughout the evening. Both Gretchen and May were relieved when Molly walked through the door.
“How’d it go?” May asked as Gretchen smiled a greeting.
Molly blushed and May’s eyebrows raised.
“Fine,” Molly said.
“Just fine? Come on, something happened. You’re red as an apple.”
“John asked me out,” Molly said in a small voice very much unlike her.
“And?” May would not give up.
“I agreed.”
“I knew it!” May grinned and swatted her sister on the arm. “It’s about time.”
“But . . . ”
“No but. I know what you’re thinking. Don’t worry about it. When’s your hot date?”
“Tomorrow night. I’m meeting him in town. He’s a cop, he’s going to ask questions, you know.” Molly insisted on airing her fears.
“Tell him we’re weird,” Gretchen said. “Just enjoy yourself, for god’s sake.” An unbidden harshness edged her voice.
Molly stared, and then finally said, “All right.”
Three sisters did not sleep well that night.
Molly did something the next evening that left both Gretchen and May dumbfounded. Her hair was piled on top of her head and her eyes were lined with black kohl. Their younger sister was transformed, but this was no monster that greeted them at the stair.
“You look lovely!” May said as she hugged her.
Eyes downcast, Molly said, “Thank you.”
“It’s true. You must really like this guy,” Gretchen teased.
“I just felt like doing something different,” Molly said, but her sisters were not fooled.
After she’d gone to meet John at the diner, May slipped off to read in her room. Gretchen, left with her thoughts, began pacing again.
Molly seemed so happy tonight, Gretchen mused. It was the first time she’d seen her make an effort with her appearance. Gretchen frowned. There was no reason for either of her sisters to become spinsters on her behalf. Molly—though she hid it well—was a joyous soul who would do well with a family of her own. May might, in time, find someone, though Gretchen doubted it. May seemed content to follow Momma’s lead. These troubles seemed far removed from Gretchen’s own muddled reality, but they were closer than she realized.
Gretchen now felt a fool for ever imagining her own life as a cage. She was fortunate, she finally realized, to have such sisters as hers. Anyone else would have put a bullet in her, or worse. She could not stop thinking about the wolf, battered and starved. That, she thought, could have been me. Still, it was just a wolf, unless what she saw beneath the moon was true? Could it be? She put her hands to her head to still the pictures that passed in a blur before her closed eyes.
They were interchangeable, wolf and woman. Wolf saw one thing, woman another. Gretchen thought she’d explode from the contradiction and she let a small cry escape from her throat. She sank into the sofa in the living room, huddled over and wrapped her arms around herself. The ache returned, an incredible longing. She understood, at long last, how very lonely she was.
Gretchen never shared Molly’s interest in boys—not in school, when the possibility still existed, nor as as a young woman, when because of the wolf a lover was out of the question. Before the change, she often wondered if there was something wrong with her. Even May had the occasional weekend foray into the strange world of men. Not so, Gretchen. There was once, just before Momma died, when a girl in her class made her young heart flutter. The way she felt when this girl entered the room scared Gretchen. When Gretchen changed, it was almost too easy to accept that love was not for her. Better that than face this other thing.
Now, wolf scented wolf and the woman Gretchen had become was in turmoil as she was slowly forced to recognize an affinity. Cotton curtains fluttered in a breeze, drawing Gretchen out of herself. She would have to go back. There was nothing else she could do.
“You’ve been spending a lot of time in the woods lately.”
May could no longer hide her concern. Gretchen had been irritable and distracted for days, but that was understandable. The moon was rounding and would be full in less than a week’s time. But this strange mood of her sister’s began when she returned from that first trek in the forest, and only increased every time she went there. Daily now, Gretchen left the house while her sisters were at work. Molly, who came in late most nights, was unaware of Gretchen’s habits, but May had been watching and finally she demanded an answer.
“I know. It’s okay, really it is.”
“You’re lying to me. You’re a mess every time you come home. What’s going on?”
Gretchen turned her face away from her sister. How to explain the horror she witnessed daily? She had honed the skill of silent stalking, she had inspected the cabin from all sides and the cage next to it. She knew the habits of the man who kept the wolf in such horrific conditions. She knew how purely awful he was. She saw the locks, too, that kept the cage sealed, and the keys hanging from his leather belt. She knew the wolf now. Ragged and broken in body, its spirit remained intact though as far as Gretchen could tell, it wouldn’t for much longer.
The man was brutal. She saw what and how he fed the creature, rotted meat dangled over the cage, withheld until the creature crawled, begging, toward him. Her ribs pushed through her sides and her coat hung in patches over scabbed flesh. Her eyes wept dark matter down over her nose. Gretchen felt the monster in her shift and slither, struggling to surface. She fought to keep it down.
“If you must know,” she finally spoke, “it’s the wolf.”
There. Not a lie, but not exactly true, Gretchen offered this to her sister in appeasement. She also knew that to mention the wolf was to draw a line neither of her sisters would cross.
“Oh Gretchen, I’m so sorry. I wish I could do more to help.”
“Well, you can’t.”
May sagged and Gretchen, contrite, hugged her.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Don’t mind me.”
“What are you two fussing about?” Molly said as she swung in, a pleasant smile on her face.
Molly was going through a change of her own. Under John’s attention, at first reluctantly accepted, she was softening. An inner beauty once known only to her sisters was transforming the shape of her face, so much so that even the patrons at the bar had commented.