No. No. No. I couldn’t lose her. No. She wasn’t leaving me. I loved her. She owned me. She had to fight for us. I needed her to fight.
“Blaire, honey, there is no home,” Abe said. I knew he meant to remind her that she had nowhere to go, but I wanted to bury my fist in his face. She didn’t need to hear that from him right now.
Blaire glared at her father. “My mother’s and my sister’s graves are home. I want to be near them. I’ve stood here and listened to y’all tell me my mother was someone I know she wasn’t. She would have never done what you’re accusing her of. Stay here with your family, Abe. I’m sure they will love you as much as your last one did. Try not to kill any of them,” she said in words laced with hatred.
Then she turned and fled up the stairs. I stared at her and considered locking her in my room and forcing her to stay with me. To listen to me. Would she forgive me then? Could I do that to her?
“She’s unstable and dangerous,” my mother hissed.
I stalked over to her and got up in her face for the first time I my life. “Her world was just ripped away from her. Everything she’s known. So for once in your life, don’t be a selfish bitch, and shut the hell up. Because I am ready to throw you both out and let you figure out a way to fucking survive on your own.”
I didn’t wait to listen to her response, because I knew it would push me over the edge. I had to try to talk to Blaire without her father and my mother in the way.
I stood in the doorway of her room as she crammed her clothing into the suitcase she had arrived with only weeks ago.
“You can’t leave me,” I said, fighting the emotion clogging my throat.
“Watch me,” she replied.
The emptiness in her voice was killing me. That wasn’t my Blaire. I wouldn’t let this lie take her from me. My Blaire wasn’t so lifeless and cold inside.
“Blaire, you didn’t let me explain. I was going to tell you everything today. They came home last night, and I panicked. I needed to tell you first.” I wasn’t making sense, and she was leaving, but I didn’t know what the fuck to say to get her to stay. Slamming my fist against the doorframe, I tried to focus. I had to say the right thing. “You were not supposed to find out that way. Not like that. God, not like that.” I was losing it. The panic and fear were hindering my thoughts.
“I can’t stay here,” she said. “I can’t see you. You represent the pain and betrayal of not just me but my mom. Whatever we had is over. It died the minute I walked downstairs and realized the world I’d always known was a lie.”
Her words were so final. How could I fight if she refused to give us a chance? Would she never be able to look at me any other way again? I couldn’t live in a world like that. One without Blaire.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Fighting to breathe through the pain, I turned and followed her. She didn’t want me. She didn’t want this. But I couldn’t just let her go. Where would she go? Where would she sleep? Who would make sure she ate? Who would hold her when she cried? She needed me. And God, I needed her.
Blaire reached the bottom step, took the phone out of her pocket, and shoved it at Abe. “Take it. I don’t want it,” she said.
“Why would I take your phone?” Abe asked.
“Because I don’t want anything from you,” she yelled at him.
“I didn’t give you that phone,” he said.
“Take the phone, Blaire,” I said. “If you want to leave, I can’t hold you here. But please, take the phone.” I was ready to get on my knees and beg. She had to take that phone. Dammit, she needed a phone.
Blaire laid it down on the bottom step. “I can’t,” she said, and I knew I couldn’t make her take it, either. I couldn’t do anything. I was fucking useless. Her world had just been blown to pieces, and I was fucking useless.
“You look just like her,” my mother said to Blaire’s back.
“I only hope I can be half the woman she was,” Blaire said, with complete conviction in her voice.
The door closed behind her.
I had to do something.
I moved down the stairs, not taking my eyes off the door. I couldn’t just stay here and let her drive away. “Where will she go?” I asked Abe. He would have an idea.
“She’ll go back to Alabama. The only other home she knows. She has friends there. They will take her in,” he said.
Nan’s scream came from outside, and my heart stopped. Had something happened to Blaire? I ran down the stairs, but not before my mother and Abe had bounded out the door.
“Blaire! Put the gun down. Nan, don’t move. She knows how to use that thing better than most men,” Abe ordered in a calm voice.
Holy shit, Blaire was holding a gun on Nan. What the fuck had Nan said?
“What is she doing with that thing? Is that even legal for her to have?” my mother asked.
“She has a permit, and she knows what she’s doing. Stay calm,” Abe said, sounding annoyed.
Blaire lowered the gun. “I’m gonna get in that truck and drive out of your life. Forever. Just keep your mouth shut about my momma. I won’t listen to it again,” Blaire said, glaring at Nan. Then she climbed inside the truck, and without a backward glance, she drove away.
“She’s fucking insane,” Nan said, turning to look back at us.
I couldn’t stand out here and listen to them. She was leaving me. I couldn’t just let her go alone. Anything could happen to her. I turned and went inside and up to my room.
The smell of Blaire hit me as I reached the top step, and I had to stop and grit my teeth through the pain. Just two hours ago, I had lain in that bed and held her in my arms.
I walked over to the bed, sat down, and picked up the pillow she’d been sleeping on and held it to my face. God, it smelled just like her. A sob broke free, and I fought to keep it back, but I couldn’t. I had lost her. My Blaire. I had lost my Blaire.
No. No. I wasn’t accepting that.
I stood up and laid the pillow back down reverently. I was going after her. I needed some clothes and my wallet. I was going to get her. She needed me. She didn’t want me right now, but she would after the shock wore off. I could hold her and ease her pain. I would hold her while she cried. Then I would spend my life making things right. Making her happy. So fucking happy.
I walked back down the stairs with my bag in my hands, while my mother, my sister, and Abe stood in the foyer talking about Blaire and what had happened, I was sure. I wasn’t listening to them. I was leaving.
“Where are you going?” my mother asked me.
“She held a gun to my head, Rush! Do you not care about that? She could have killed me!” Nan knew where I was going.
I stopped and looked at my mother first. “I’m going to get Blaire.” Then I looked at my sister. “You will learn to shut your fucking mouth. You said the wrong thing to the wrong person this time, and you learned a lesson. Next time, think before you spew shit.” I jerked the door open.
“What if she won’t come back with you? She hates us, Rush,” my mother said, sounding annoyed at the idea of her even coming here.
“If she won’t come back with me, then you all will have to move out. I will not live in my house with the people who destroyed her world. Decide where you plan to go, because I don’t want you here when I return.” I slammed the door behind me.
The eight-hour drive to Summit, Alabama, would have been easier if I hadn’t been tailing Blaire and also trying to keep her from seeing me. Hiding a black Range Rover on country roads wasn’t easy. I had to let her get out of sight more times than I wanted, but it was the only way to follow her. I had the small town plugged into my GPS, and luckily, Blaire seemed to be taking the same route the GPS suggested.