Arriving at the boat, he peered inside. The bottom was badly rusted. Given a choice, he would not have risked it. But he wasn’t left with a lot of options.
At least it actually had a bottom.
Something rustled loudly in the branches of a nearby tree and Eric looked up in time to see a large, ape-like shape settle there.
Chapter Fourteen
Covered in shaggy red fur, it looked a little like an orangutan except for its enormous hands and ghastly face. The moment he met its crazed, yellow eyes, it exposed a ghastly mouthful of massive teeth and uttered the most terrifying shriek he had ever heard in his life (which, given the events of only the past few hours, was actually saying something).
The question of whether it would be better to backtrack with the boat and launch it from the dock or simply cast off from where it sat became utterly moot. So did any concern he had about the seaworthiness of the craft. Taking hold of the port side, he shoved it backward into the water and threw himself into it as the Stephen King equivalent of Curious George dropped from its branch and came loping after him, shrieking insanely.
Managing somehow to position himself upright in the boat without capsizing it, he immediately realized that there were no oars with which to row to safety. Swearing loudly, Eric turned and plunged his right arm into the water, splashing wildly in an effort to make the boat move.
Meanwhile, Furious George continued his noisy tantrum. Long arms flailing wildly, massive teeth exposed, the angry creature charged out into the water, splashing and shrieking.
Eric didn’t seem to be going anywhere. The boat began to turn lazily, slowly spinning in a circle as if utterly unconcerned about the angry monkey that apparently wanted to eat its passenger.
But even as Eric began to realize the futility of his crazed paddling, he also noticed that the creature refused to follow him any farther than a few feet from the shore. Peering back over the side of the boat, Eric realized that the thing did not seem able—or at least particularly willing—to swim, which was a stroke of amazing luck since it turned out that he made a lousy propulsion system for a boat.
Somehow managing to point the bow toward the dock while keeping one eye on his angry, hairy friend, he allowed himself a moment to ponder the best route forward. He considered removing his shoe and using it as an oar. They were already soaked from his awkward boarding of the boat as he scrambled to escape the creature. But he decided that they wouldn’t offer much more surface area for pushing the water than did the palms of his hands.
He also evaluated the boat, noting that it did seem to be taking on water, but not catastrophically. He could probably keep it afloat indefinitely as long as he took a moment now and then to bail the vessel.
Furious George, still shrieking, turned and splashed back up onto the shore again, apparently having determined that he had made his point.
Relieved to see the beast leave, Eric bent over and paddled on one side of the boat and then the other, gradually pushing himself toward the dock. He was concentrating on this task when something heavy clanged against the side of the boat. Looking up again, Eric watched as George picked up a second rock and hurled it at him, this time striking the surface of the water three feet in front of him.
A third sailed over his head.
“Hey!” he shouted.
George didn’t seem terribly fazed by this exclamation. He picked up a larger stone this time and bounced it off the side of the boat.
Eric swore loudly and paddled faster.
Another rock landed loudly inside the boat in front of him.
“Knock it off!” he yelled. The words were barely out of his mouth before he felt the next rock sting his right knee and he fired off a particularly insulting insinuation about the ape’s parentage.
The creature threw its hands in the air and shrieked at him again, showing him all of its awful teeth. They were huge. He couldn’t quite fathom how they all fit in the damn thing’s mouth. It didn’t seem possible.
Swallowing those enormous teeth back into its mouth, the hateful thing snatched up another stone and sent it hurdling straight at Eric’s face.
He threw his arms up to shield himself and felt it bounce off his right elbow with a sharp sting.
“Don’t make me come over there and kick your ass!”
George was so terrified that he chucked an even larger rock. Luckily, it fell short.
Apparently, he wasn’t going to talk his way out of this mess. Keeping one eye on the creature to watch for incoming headshots, Eric continued paddling, now trying to aim the boat farther from the shoreline. Twice he had to duck incoming stones, but for the most part George turned out to be a terrible pitcher.
He did not fail to appreciate how lucky he was.
When he’d moved far enough out into the lake that none of the thrown rocks reached the boat, the beast threw its huge hands up and shrieked at him again.
Eric replied by showing him both his middle fingers and suggesting that it should copulate with itself.
It was important to occasionally vent one’s frustrations. It was healthy.
Remembering his phone, he quickly pulled it out, checked that it was still dry and snapped a picture of the beast. A pissed-off monkey was going to go great in his scrapbook with the mutant livestock and big-headed coyote-deer.
He returned the phone to his pocket and resumed paddling. Slowly, he made his way back to the dock, ignoring the primal shrieks from the shoreline.
He would have liked to have tied the boat off at the dock and gone in search of something to use as an oar, but he didn’t dare return to the shore for fear that Furious George might still be sore about his impolite language. He suspected that it might not be able to come all the way into this world. Otherwise, what kept it from attacking him before he went searching for the boat? What kept it from wandering into the nearest town and terrifying the locals? Or climbing the nearest water tower and swatting at passing airplanes? But he didn’t dare make any assumptions.
Deciding it was better to not take any chances, Eric resigned himself to making do with only his hands to paddle the boat.
Using his dream as a guide and frequently checking the phone to make sure he hadn’t drifted into that other place, he slowly crept across the surface of the lake.
When his arms had grown sufficiently tired and while he was still much closer to the dock than the far side of the lake, he decided to take a break. He sent his picture of George to Karen and waited for her to call him, which only took a couple minutes.
He let her know that she was right, that once he accepted that there must be a solution to the problem, he was able to find one.
Karen was happy to have helped (and even happier, he suspected, to be right). She was also disturbed by the nasty monkey. “That is one ugly primate,” she declared.
“It had an even uglier disposition.”
“So where are you now?”
“Out on the lake.”
“Still?”
“It’s slow going with no oars.”
“I’ll bet.”
“And I have to stop occasionally to bail water.”
“That’s not good.”
“No. But it’s a slow leak. I think I can stay ahead of it.”
“Any idea yet where you’re headed?”
“I remember crossing the lake. I still can’t recall where I ended up.”
“Well at least you’re on the right track.”
“Hopefully my new monkey friend isn’t waiting for me on the other side.”
“That would suck.”
“It would. And he’d probably have enough time to beat me there, too. In the dream, my boat had a motor.”
“Dream You gets all the breaks.”
“He really does. He was always much more popular than me in high school, too.”
Eric wiped the sweat from his brow. It had been hot most of the day, but it was particularly hot out here in this boat, with the sun beating down on him. He bent over the side and began to paddle again as he talked. At least the water was cool on his skin.