“There’s so much pressure.”
“He wants out,” Kane said, keeping his voice very calm. Inside he felt every muscle tighten up, but he refused to panic. Rose needed him, and if he never had the chance to do another thing for her, he would do this.
He pulled the two chairs he had brought into the room for her to set her feet on. He wanted as much gravity as possible to help. “I know it’s uncomfortable to move, sweetheart, but this will help deliver him faster and make it easier for you to push.”
She clutched at his sleeve as he moved her into position, her eyes frightened. “I can feel her coming.” Her terrified eyes met his. “Kane.”
Just his name. That whisper. Her voice said it all. Complete trust, and how the hell had he earned that from her? Fear. Overwhelming when she’d faced down a monster like Whitney and another like Carlson.
Kane didn’t know how either of them got through the next twenty minutes. He would tell her to push, and she would bear down and try to direct her breathing down as the books had told her, but he was a little worried with the amount of blood and fluids. He should have expected it, but it was still frightening to know there was no doctor available if something went wrong.
His heart began to pound in awe as the baby’s head appeared, a thick thatch of blue black hair like his mother’s.
“I see him, Rose. He’s covered in hair.” The head disappeared again, and he waited while Rose panted. One quick flick of his eyes and he could tell she was exhausted, but he knew her now, knew she wouldn’t stop until their child was safe.
He felt pride in her, enormous respect, but most of all, a growing love he couldn’t stop. It didn’t matter that she didn’t feel the same way about him; this experience together changed his life forever.
“She’s coming,” Rose said.
“You can do this, sweetheart. Let’s get him out.”
He felt a little like a catcher at a ball game, reaching to help ease the small head out of the tight opening. “Wait, honey. Let me clean his mouth and nose.”
She panted, straining silently until he nodded, and with one more push, the baby slipped into his waiting hands. His heart stood still. Tears burned in his eyes and throat. “We have a son, Rose.” Damn, he was small. He practically fit in his hand, but he had all the right parts, and if his lungs were anything to go by, he was healthy. His little fingers curled into fists and he scrunched up his face at the indignity of being brought out into the cool air.
“Is she okay?” Rose asked, her voice portraying her anxiety.
“Look, honey,” Kane held the baby up for her to see. “I was right all along. We’ve got a son.” He placed the baby gently on her stomach. “Do you have him?” He hated to let go, but he had to deal with the cord and placenta.
Rose’s hands settled around the baby as Kane clamped off the cord and then, taking a quick breath and sending up a silent prayer, cut the lifeline between mother and child. He waited for the next contraction to help Rose push the placenta out. She was bleeding quite a bit, enough to worry him. He didn’t know what was normal and what wasn’t. She hadn’t torn. The baby was small.
He cleaned the baby as best he could and wrapped him tightly in a warm blanket. Rose had brought baby clothes, diapers, and blankets. Once again, he couldn’t help but be thankful for the way she had prepared for the birth. Rose was obviously exhausted, but she took the baby readily and held him while he washed her carefully, trying to be as sterile as possible, and replaced the plastic-backed sheet with a clean one. He added one of the large pads that had come with the birthing kit, before pulling up the covers over her shivering body.
“He’s so little, Kane.” Rose sounded awed.
“Are you crying?” He felt a little like crying himself every time he looked at the two of them. His Rose. His child. The baby looked so right in her arms.
Rose reached out and tracked down his face with gentle fingers, a small, enigmatic smile on her soft mouth. Her fingertips traced the path of tears he hadn’t even realized were on his face. He was completely overwhelmed with the sheer wonderment of the moment. Creating an actual life from their bodies seemed too big a miracle to him, now that he actually saw the evidence of their union.
Rose smiled at him, brushing away her own tears. “I’m very happy,” she murmured. “I was worried. He’s early, and yet he looks so amazing and perfect.”
“I’ve been thinking about that, Rose. I think the only thing we can do right now is to keep him as warm as possible and feed him as often as he’ll eat. Is he trying to eat yet?”
“I’m not very good at this,” she admitted. “And I don’t think he’s getting much.”
Kane moved around the bed to help her. He took the baby, cradling him protectively, while she tried to get herself into a more comfortable position. The baby felt featherlight to him. He looked down into the little scrunched-up face, and his heart expanded, his breath exploding out of lungs. His son. He’d never thought to hold his child in his arms.
“You’re a little miracle,” he whispered to the boy. “Look at this, Rose. He has fingernails. They’re so tiny you can barely notice them.” He inserted one finger into the tiny fist in order to inspect the little hands more closely.
He looked down at Rose, and their eyes met. Time seemed to stand still as they smiled at each other. He felt a little lost in happiness. It wasn’t a natural state of mind for him. He’d never thought much about being happy. He just was. He had a family, made on the streets of Chicago, but nevertheless a solid family. He loved each of his brothers and sisters and was fiercely loyal to them as they were to him, but this ... Rose. The baby. Something like this could bring a man to his knees. He didn’t want to lose her once they were back in the real world, but he had no idea how to make her stay with him. His own parents hadn’t wanted him.
“He’s beautiful, isn’t he?” Rose asked, her voice almost shy.
“Because he looks like you,” Kane agreed. “Are you strong enough to try to feed him?”
“The book said I should try right away.”
She didn’t sound too sure. Kane handed her the baby and reached behind her to adjust the pillows for her. He should have been a gentleman and given her a little space, but he couldn’t tear his eyes from the sight of her. Was there anything more beautiful? He doubted it. She cradled the baby to her, looking down at him with such love in her expression, Kane felt the welling of intense emotion all over again.
She swallowed hard and looked at him. “I want you to know, Kane, I wanted him. Never once, not one single time, did I ever contemplate an abortion. When I suspected I was pregnant, I was apprehensive because I was afraid for him, but not because I didn’t want him.”
He stroked tendrils of her hair away from her damp face. “I wanted him too, Rose. I will admit I didn’t like the way he was conceived, but I wanted you to have my baby. I know you think my attraction to you is all about Whitney pairing us together, but he can’t make me feel admiration and respect for you. He can’t control my other emotions through physical chemistry.”
“Thank you for that, Kane.” She nuzzled the baby’s mouth with her nipple.
They both held their breath while he rooted around unsuccessfully for a few minutes. Rose was patient, but he could see she was afraid he wasn’t going to take the offering. Without warning he latched on, and both of them let out a loud sigh of relief and then looked at each other and laughed softly.
“I have no idea how to be a mother, but I’m going to try, Kane,” she promised him.
“I have no doubts you’ll make a great mother, honey,” he said sincerely. “I wasn’t exactly raised with parents, but I had a few pointers from a couple of people. Between the two of us, we’ll figure it out.” Everything inside him went still, waiting for her reaction to his declaration.
Rose looked up at him, searching his face. “I don’t want you to stay with us because you think you’re supposed to, Kane. I might not look it, but I’m tough. And I’m capable of protecting him from Whitney once we get out of here.”