‘That’s an old one,’ Rachel said.
‘Yes,’ Janet said. Her own teenage years had been disruptive in a very different way, the breakdown at sixteen had seen her in a mental hospital for several weeks. Recovering from that, supported by Ade, she’d never really had the wild teenage rebellion other people did.
The pub was warm and not too busy. Janet and Rachel got seats in one of the old-fashioned booths, benches with wooden panelling and frosted glass above which afforded them some privacy.
Rachel went for drinks. Janet asked for a double gin and tonic. She closed her eyes for a moment, images from the last twenty-four hours crowding in her head, the shocked tableau of youngsters at the party, Olivia on the stretcher, Elise sobbing when she learned about the death, Vivien alternately bewildered and frantic.
‘Where did you get the drugs?’ Janet had asked Elise when they got home from the hospital. Ade there, looking thunderstruck.
Elise had tugged at her hair, stalling.
Janet waited. Something she was used to, practised in. One of the tools of her trade as an interviewer. Patience, silence.
Ade opened his mouth to speak, Janet moved her hand, don’t.
‘This girl came to the party, she had them. She went round seeing what people wanted, I wasn’t that bothered but…’
‘Go on,’ Janet said gently.
‘Olivia really wanted to try something. She wanted me to buy some Ecstasy.’
‘You bought them?’ Janet said.
‘I had the taxi money,’ she said in a small voice. For the mythical taxi home. Except they’d intended staying out all night. And Olivia wouldn’t have had extra cash with her parents unaware of the party plan.
‘I wasn’t sure about it,’ Elise said, ‘but the girl said she’d got some Paradise. Legal. It would be like taking an E.’
Ade’s face drained as he heard the casual reference. Janet shot him a warning look.
‘It was legal,’ she said, ‘that’s why we picked it.’
‘It was bloody stupid,’ Ade growled, ‘that’s what it was.’
‘I know that now!’ Elise cried. ‘But Olivia was so… she really wanted to take something and everybody else was.’
‘Who was this girl?’ said Janet.
‘I don’t know. I’ve never seen her before.’
‘Not in school?’
‘No.’
‘Was she there when Olivia got sick?’ Janet said. ‘No, she went, she wasn’t there long, just while she was selling things. Will they arrest me?’ She looked terrified, fists clenched together, mouth wide with panic. Shaking.
‘No,’ Janet said. She had moved closer and held her daughter by the shoulders. ‘But they will want to talk to you and you must tell them everything, OK?’
‘Bought you some crisps,’ Rachel said, breaking Janet’s train of thought. ‘Keep your strength up.’
‘They’ll do the job,’ Janet said sarkily.
‘Be grateful,’ Rachel said, ‘or I’ll eat them.’ She studied her friend. ‘Do they know what she took?’
‘Not yet, probably some variant on meow meow. Elise described it as a small white tablet with a palm tree on, called Paradise. Sound familiar?’
Rachel nodded. ‘Like we found at the Perrys’. Town’s awash with it, according to the drug squad, it’s new on the scene.’
‘She kept saying it’s legal. I said to her so’s bleach and caustic soda and ground glass – it doesn’t mean it’s safe. They’d have been safer with something illegal. At least people know what to look out for, how to deal with it, and if there’s a dodgy batch around word gets out.’
‘Elise took it too?’
‘Yeah, she felt weird,’ she said, ‘but you would, wouldn’t you, when your mate-’ Sudden tears robbed her of speech. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said eventually.
‘Don’t be daft,’ Rachel chided.
‘What’s so awful is there is nothing, nothing Elise can do to make it right. It’s final. And she’ll have to live with that for the rest of her life.’
‘It wasn’t her fault though,’ Rachel said.
‘She lied-’
‘Yes, but she didn’t force Olivia to take the stuff, did she?’
‘No, of course not.’
‘She’d no idea it’d cause any harm, or she’d not have taken it herself,’ Rachel said.
‘OK,’ Janet agreed.
‘She got help as soon as she could, yes?’
‘Yes, of course.’
‘So, it was an accident, you have to tell her that. How could she have known? No one could,’ Rachel said.
‘She’s so hard on other people, she’ll be the same with herself.’
‘Can’t think where she gets that from,’ Rachel said.
Janet put her glass down. ‘I’m not hard.’
‘Sure you are. Principled, you’d call it, conscientious.’
‘Fair-minded, maybe,’ Janet countered.
‘If you like. Keep my seat warm.’
Janet watched Rachel head off for a smoke. She was right. Horrible and tragic though Olivia’s death was, it was an accident, but Janet didn’t know how on earth she’d get Elise to accept that. Dorothy wasn’t helping matters. She regarded drug use with the same unreserved horror others might have for bestiality or cannibalism.
‘It’s part of the landscape,’ Janet tried to tell her. ‘Everyone who tries it doesn’t end up addicted to crack cocaine or turning tricks to fund a heroin habit.’
‘Some will,’ her mother had retorted. ‘You never messed about with drugs, did you?’
‘Only Librium and Mogadon,’ Janet said dryly.
‘Don’t be flip,’ Dorothy said. ‘You were ill. I mean for kicks.’
‘No, Mum, but these days I’d be a rare exception.’
Ade hadn’t said much at all up to that point but he chipped in, ‘She needs to take responsibility for her actions.’
‘How exactly?’ Janet demanded. ‘She’s torn apart with guilt, she’s lost her best friend. How does she take responsibility for that?’
He had evaded the question, he was blustering, and she saw that. He was worried for Elise, felt terrible about Olivia, but he didn’t know how to deal with it so he was talking rubbish. ‘I never wanted her to go in the first place.’
‘She’s too young,’ Dorothy had said.
‘We’re not doing this,’ Janet had said. ‘Hindsight is a wonderful thing but it gets us absolutely nowhere. They went. It happened.’ Any further discussion was postponed by the arrival of Taisie, who had been sitting with Elise in a rare show of sisterliness.
Now Rachel came back into the pub smelling of cold air and tobacco smoke.
‘Has she been interviewed?’ she asked.
‘In the morning,’ Janet said.
‘It’s a lead story.’ Rachel showed Janet her phone. The tabloid headline: LEGAL AND LETHAL. OLIVIA’S TRAGIC DEATH.
Janet looked at the photo, the face she’d known so well. It wasn’t fair. That poor girl. Oh God. ‘Tell me about work, tell me something else, distract me.’
‘You don’t want to go back home?’
‘One more.’ Janet drained her glass.
‘Sure?’ Rachel stood up.
Janet nodded. Gestured to Rachel’s phone. ‘Can I? Mine’s charging.’
‘Course.’
She bent her head and began to read, gritting her teeth together, determined not to cry.
Dave’s mother answered the phone to Gill and went to fetch Dave without bothering to make any small talk.
The night before Gill had spoken to Sammy about his dad, tried to tread a careful line, not wanting to slag Dave off but needing to explain to Sammy that his father’s drinking was out of control.
‘How did he seem these last few visits?’ she said.
He shrugged. ‘Dunno. Why?’
‘He’s drinking more than he should be. Drinking in the day too. If you find him like that – well… He needs some help.’
‘What, like rehab?’
‘Yes,’ Gill said.
Sammy nodded.
‘You’re not surprised?’
He wrinkled his nose. A look in his eyes. Guilt? ‘What?’ she said.
‘Last time, he was off his face,’ Sammy said. ‘I went round and he was crying and apologizing and talking about how he’d messed everything up. So I left and went round to Orla’s instead. Dad didn’t rearrange on Thursday, I just didn’t go. I couldn’t face it.’