“I think I’ll be fine by tomorrow,” he said. “I’ll pick you up in the morning.”
“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Later that night, I was lying in bed when I overheard a conversation between my parents.
“I think it’s time we send her to see someone.”
“Do you really think that’s necessary?”
“Well, she’s barely eating and those mood swings . . .”
“I don’t know what has gotten into her . . .”
“For Chrissake, Edwina, her friend just slit her wrists.”
“They weren’t exactly close.”
“They’ve known each other since they were kids. Ana’s been around here plenty.”
The conversation continued, but it began to rain and their words were lost to the soft drumming sound on the roof. I sighed and reached over to turn on my reading lamp. I propped myself up with some pillows and took the half-read copy of My Sweet Audrina from the nightstand.
A few hours later, I was on the final chapter when my phone beeped with a text message. It was Rad.
Are you up?
I texted back. Yeah
Can’t sleep?
No
Me too. Want to go for a drive?
I checked the time. It was almost two in the morning.
Now?
Yeah.
I thought about it. My parents would murder me if they knew, but it wasn’t the first time I had snuck out in the middle of the night. “Screw it,” I muttered under my breath. I felt a small, unexpected thrill at the thought of seeing him again.
Okay, I texted back.
See you outside your house in 10.
Rad was parked outside when I closed the front door as quietly as I could and made my way quickly to his car.
“Hey,” he said, as I slid into the passenger seat.
“Hey.”
He pulled away from the curb and turned into the next street.
“Where are we going?”
“Actually, there is something I need to do, and I was hoping you could help me.”
“What is it?”
“Ana had this gold necklace she was really attached to. It was a gift from her parents . . .”
Rad shifted gears and pulled over onto the side of the road. He dug into his jean pocket and drew out a gold chain with a heart-shaped locket attached. I recognized it at once. I was sitting at my desk in class one day, with the teacher droning on about algebra, when a glimmer of light caught my eye. Outside, a ray of sunlight had pierced through the clouds, briefly illuminating a gold necklace around Ana’s neck like a wink. With lazy curiosity, I had noticed a dent at the center of the heart-shaped locket.
“I always wondered why that dent was there,” I said.
“Her puppy, Starflash, chewed on it,” said Rad. “I think she liked it more because of that. She used to say that the most beautiful things are damaged in some way.” His expression saddened. “Anyway, I found it tonight. She had stuck it in a copy of Brighton Rock, as a bookmark I suppose, and then she forgot about it. We looked for it everywhere, and I kept telling her not to worry, that it would turn up eventually. Tonight, I was putting away some of her stuff in a box, and the locket fell out of the book. I know she would want to have it, so I thought I should return it to her.”
It took me a few moments to comprehend what he meant by returning the locket to Ana. “You mean now?”
Rad nodded.
“You want to go into the cemetery at this hour?”
“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to,” he said. “I can take you back home.”
“Why don’t you just wait until the morning? Cemeteries are so scary at night.”
“I don’t want to leave the necklace on her tombstone, in case someone takes it,” said Rad. “I was thinking of burying it next to her, and that’s not something I want to be doing in broad daylight.”
“I suppose you have a point,” I sighed.
“So do you want to come?”
I thought about it for a few moments. “Okay,” I said finally.
He looked relieved. “Thanks, Audrey. To be honest, I didn’t like the idea of going there alone.”
I began to regret my decision when Rad turned into the entrance of Woodlands Cemetery, where Ana was buried. As we drove past the weeping willows and tombstones jutting up from the ground like crooked teeth, a feeling of trepidation washed over me. When he came to a stop, I began to feel tiny pins pricking the back of my neck. This was always a bad sign. “Are you okay, Audrey?” said Rad, releasing the catch of his seat belt. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m fine,” I said, but my voice came out strangled and my entire body was trembling.
“You don’t look fine,” Rad frowned. “Do you want to leave?”
I shook my head and frantically felt for the door handle. “I just—need some air,” I gasped. I stumbled out of the car onto the grass, desperately trying to suck air into my lungs.
“Audrey!” Rad had materialized at my side. “It’s okay; calm down.” I felt his hand on my shoulder. I brushed it away.
“Don’t tell me to calm down!” I snapped, feeling disorientated.
“I’m sorry,” he said, taking a step back.
My hands had turned numb, and I shook them furiously as I paced up and down the grassy field. I must have looked like I was having a mental breakdown, but I didn’t care. All I could focus on was the horrible thing that had taken possession of my body. I was desperate to get back in control again.
“What can I do?” I heard Rad say, through the fog clouding my brain.
“I’ll be okay,” I panted. “Just—just give me a minute. Please.”
A few moments later, I was starting to feel a little better. I glanced at Rad, standing there with a look of worry etched across his face.
“Are you all right?”
I nodded. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
“Sometimes it feels like—like there’s a boa constrictor around my body and it’s squeezing every last atom from my lungs. I don’t know how else to explain it.” I drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“You don’t have to explain,” he said, and somehow I sensed that I didn’t.
“Thanks.” I gave him a tight smile.
“Hey, why don’t you just wait in the car while I go and do this?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I’ll come with you.”
Ana’s tombstone was barely visible beneath all the cards, decaying bouquets, and other tokens of grief.
A full moon hung in the sky like a Chinese lantern, and though I was grateful for the light, my mind kept playing random scenes from horror movies in a sinister montage.
Rad had brought a small trowel like the ones my mother used when she was gardening. He got onto his knees at the foot of Ana’s grave, and with the sharp point of the metal, he carefully cut out a small patch of grass. He put the grass to one side and began digging at the fresh soil. I sat down next to him cross-legged and watched. My mind shot to my panic attack earlier. I thought he wouldn’t want anything to do with me, that he would think I was a freak. But he didn’t seem to mind or make an issue of it, and I liked him more because of that.
“You know, I used to hear stories about kids who hung out at cemeteries in the middle of the night. I never thought in a million years that I’d be one of them,” I said.
Rad shook his head. “Me too.”
After a few minutes he stopped and stood up, fishing the necklace from his pocket. He looked at it with a mixture of curiosity and sadness. “You know, I’ve never opened it,” he said. “I don’t know what she put in there.”
“I’m sure it’s a picture of you.” I stood up and looked at the gold locket cupped in the palm of his hand.