Her hands tightened on the wheel. “Yeah.”
He was quiet for a few minutes. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.”
More silence. Then, “You had to see us at our worst.”
“Worst?”
“Rarely do we play harder than that. Very rarely.” He let out a clipped laugh. “Usually when we play that hard it ends with me fucking him. I normally beat him like that bent over a spanking horse or bench, not standing up.”
“Then why did you play differently tonight?”
“Because I wanted you to be a part of it. For you to see what it’s like. To give you a chance to see it from both sides.”
“To see if I could take it?”
He fell quiet for a moment. “You could say that.”
“Is that why you were so hard on him?”
“Nope. I warned you, sometimes he needs it this hard.”
She still had difficulty processing that, but her brain had stepped a little closer to accepting it, even if she didn’t understand it. “You weren’t that hard on him just because I was there, were you?”
“No.” He was quiet for a while longer. “If you want to be a part of us, you have to accept who we are, not just the parts of us you want to accept. Just like we’ll accept all of who you are.”
“I’ll never be able to take a beating like he did.”
“I know you couldn’t. I would never make you take one like that either. You’re not him. I couldn’t believe you went as far as you did tonight.” More silence. “I’m sorry, by the way.”
She glanced in the rearview mirror. In the headlights of an oncoming car, she saw his grey gaze focused on her. “For what?”
“For pushing you so hard tonight. I told you I wouldn’t hurt you.
But you took the lighter stuff so well I wanted to see how far we could comfortably take you.”
“It was okay.” She might be sore tomorrow, but well worth it. “I told you, I’ve got a higher than average pain tolerance.”
“I’m still sorry. I hope you don’t hate me.”
She had to stop for a light in downtown Tarpon. She turned and looked over the seat at him. “I would have safeworded if I couldn’t take it. I don’t hate you for what you did to me.”
“But you do hate me.”
Only a moron could miss the regret in his voice. “No, I don’t hate you. Quit putting words in my mouth. Did the thing with Mac shock me? Yes. I’m not supposed to lie, so I won’t. It shocked the hell out of me. What you did to me…” She shook her head. “I don’t have words to describe it.
“Wow?”
She laughed and turned to drive as the light changed to green.
“Yeah, wow about covers it.”
“What upset you later?”
She didn’t want to admit it. “Nothing.”
He didn’t respond.
“Just dealing with it all, that’s it,” she added.
He studied her, but said nothing.
At the house, Sully roused Mac enough to get him to climb the stairs. Clarisse brought the bags in and hesitated in the living room.
Finally, she left them on the couch, returned to her room, and changed clothes.
Too tired to do anything else, she was ready to fall into bed when Sully softly knocked on her door.
“Yeah.”
He opened it. He’d changed out of his jeans and wore only a pair of boxers. “I wanted to say good night, and you did good.”
She blushed. “Thanks.”
He pointed at her neck. “Want that off?”
The collar. She’d forgotten about it.
She nodded. He removed it for her, then he stepped in and pulled her to him for a long, strong hug. “You don’t have to try to make sense of things tonight or tomorrow or even a month from now. There is no expiration date on this offer. I’ve already told you what would make me ask you to leave. If you stay a year or a lifetime, as long as we’re the only men in your life, we’re fine with that.”
“Thank you.”
He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I’d ask if you wanted to sleep with us tonight, but he’ll wake up horny.”
She snorted. “I doubt that.”
“No, seriously. The next morning, he’s…” He smiled. “One of those things you’d have to learn about us.” He turned and quietly shut the door behind him as he left.
Clarisse stared at the closed door. Horny?
She guessed she had a lot to learn about the men. The question was, could she take the risk to agree to their insane proposition?
Or could she risk not taking them up on it?
Chapter Eighteen
The next morning, Clarisse slept late. Her arms felt a little achy, and she had a few bruises on her ass, but otherwise, she felt good.
Mac was already awake and cooking breakfast. He grinned when she walked into the kitchen. She didn’t miss the fact that he wore a T-shirt and shorts.
“There’s our sleepyhead. Pancakes?” He pulled her in for a long, strong hug.
He acted like he’d already had three pots of coffee.
“You’re certainly chipper.”
“Feeling good.”
“How is that possible?”
He gave her a peck on the end of her nose. “Slept like a rock, had a nice morning wake-up, and life’s good.”
His infectious smile made her smile. “Despite last night?”
“Because of it. And because a certain someone figured prominently in my sexy dreams last night.” He waggled his eyebrows at her before turning to the stove again.
Sully didn’t make an appearance. “He went back to sleep,” Mac explained with a sly grin. “I wore him out this morning.” He sat at the counter with her and wolfed his food.
She stared, incredulous. “How can you even walk this morning?”
“Just the way my body is. Yeah, I’ve got some pain, but that’s cool. Except it’s making me damn horny.” He laughed.
She quit trying to figure it out.
The next afternoon, nearly six weeks after Clarisse had first met them, Sully announced arrangements for Mac to take her to Columbus the next day to meet with the investigating officers and get her things…and Bart. Mac took her to the mall to pick her up a few new items, including a nice dress that he insisted looked great on her.
Clarisse found she couldn’t eat, her nerves one hugely painful knot that threatened to rapidly return to sender any food she tried to swallow.
Sully sent Mac instead of going himself because Sully had a conference to prepare for and would be leaving for New York in two days. He drove them to Tampa International. Because of TSA rules, Sully couldn’t continue with them past the main terminal. He hugged Mac and whispered something in his ear before releasing him. Mac smiled, nodded, and brushed one last kiss across Sully’s lips. She noticed the ID bracelet on Mac’s wrist. His other day collar, worn in conjunction with the silver chain collar around his neck.
Clarisse watched the men’s interaction, startled by the melancholy pang that flashed through her own soul.
Sully smiled at her before his expression grew serious. “Be safe.”
He took her hands in his. “Listen to him, okay? Do what he says. Let him protect you. He’ll take care of you.”
She nodded, blinking back tears. She would miss Sully a lot more than she’d anticipated.
Then he surprised her—he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. “I’m going to miss you,” he whispered in her ear.
“I’ll miss you, too.”
“I’ve given him orders to behave himself, just so you know.
Nothing personal. I don’t want any confusion for either of you. When we’re all home next week, we’ll talk.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head before he released her.