By never putting a price on my services, and by joking about the enterprise the feller would take so seriously — Americans treating it, they’d say, as part of their education, continentals looking on it as a kind of critical therapy, the English preferring not to discuss it — I always came out better. I was prompt and responsive; I didn’t insist on my presence; and I had a sense of humor.
“That was quite an experience,” the feller would say, his face flushed.
“Glad you approved,” I’d say, hailing my trishaw for the ride home.
“You’ve been a great help. Really, I—”
“Don’t mention it. It’s just a question of mind over matter, ain’t it?”
“How’s that?”
“I don’t mind and you don’t matter — hyah!”
My dedication to these souls, whom anyone else would call suckers, was so complete it made me unselfish in a way that calmed and rewarded me, for paradoxically it was this unselfish dedication that was commercially useful — I was making money. I was not so much a fool as to think that the money had been virtuously earned — there was no brotherhood in a cash transaction; my small virtue was a fidelity to other people’s passion, but I would not martyr myself for it, I expected some payment. I was not a pimp with a heart of gold; however, I knew and could prove that I had saved many fellers from harm and many girls from brutes — not only from greedy cabbies, but the curfew districts controlled by the secret societies, the streets where all the pretty girls were men with kukris in their handbags, the girls with pox, the sadists, the clip joints, the houses you came away from with the fungus on your pecker known as “Rangoon Itch.” “I’ve saved a lot of fellers from Rangoon Itch in my time,” is hardly a saintly testimony, but it might be the epitaph of a practical man who gave relief the only way he could, trusting instinct and operating in the dark. I took blame, I risked damnation, I didn’t cheat: A Useful Man, my tombstone motto would go. I was a knowledgeable friend in a remote place, able to read obscure and desperate verbal signals; with a deliberately corny sense of humor — the undemanding comedy that relaxed the fellers by avoiding all off-color or doubtful jokes, specifically the ones relating to lechery, which in the circumstances could only annoy the fellers by mocking or challenging their heat.
And Singapore helped. It was that atmosphere that had been exported with the immigrants from China and the oldie-worldie style of the city’s subdivision into districts. To say that there was only one street in Singapore where you could buy a mattress is to describe the rigidness of the pattern; ship chandlers occupied one street, coffin makers another, banks another, printeries another. Brothels took up a whole block, mixed higgledy-piggledy with Chinese hotels, from Muscat Lane to Malacca Street, and the area was self-contained, bordered on one side by bars and noodle shops and on the other by laundries and pox doctors.
“It’s like something out of a myth,” Griswold had said. Without fuss, the excesses of Shanghai were available in the dream district — opium dens here, brothels and massage parlors and cockfights there — constructed by the wishful immigrant who in his homesick fantasy remembered a childhood longing for wealth and provided for his pleasure with the tourists’ subsidy. An American appropriately complimented the unreality of it by saying, “It’s just like a movie!”
“Jack, I want to tell you I feel very lucky,” the same feller went on. “Give them a few years and they’ll pull this all down and build over it — apartment houses, car parks, pizza joints, every lousy thing they can think of. Tokyo’s already getting commercialized.”
We were on Sago Lane, near Loon’s Tip-Top; through the upstairs window of Loon’s we could see two Chinese girls in red dresses, one smoking and looking out at the sky, the other combing her long hair.
“They’ll put a gas station there or some dumb thing. It gives me the creeps to think about it,” he said. “It’ll just ruin it.”
“It makes my blood boil,” I said. But I could not match his anger.
Then he said something I have thought of many times since: “I feel damned lucky,” he said. “At least I can say I knew what it was like in the old days.”
Nineteen fifty-nine! The old days!
But he was right; it was pleasant then, and it changed. Answering the squalor of the city were the girls; noiseless and glittering and narrow as snakes, they looked like anyone’s idea of the Oriental concubine. That was theatrical, a kind of costuming: the whore’s mask depicted the client’s sexual ideal — they were expected to pose that way, as in white shoes, I was expected to look like a pimp. It was the nearest word, but it didn’t describe me: I was gentle. The girls were practical and businesslike. Their obsession was with good health, and they treated their tasks like ritual medicine or minor surgery, assisting like sexy nurses, those dentist’s helpers who worked on complicated extractions, bending over a feller’s open mouth, making him comfortable and being quick when he grunted unusually. They believed in ghosts and had a horror of hair and kissing and stinks and dirt, and complained we smelled like cheese. Some didn’t feel a thing, but just lay there sacrificed and spread and might say, “You are finished, yes?” before a feller had hardly started. Most had the useful skill of the reliable worker, the knack of being able to do their job convincingly and well without having the slightest interest in it, and all had the genius to be remote at the moment of greatest intimacy, a contemplative gift. They were sensationally foul-mouthed, but they swore in English, and I was certain from the soft way they spoke to each other in Chinese that they seldom swore in their own language, and had that learner’s curious habit of finding it easy to say “fuck” in another tongue, for a foreign swearword is practically inoffensive except to the person who has learned it early in life and knows its social limits.
Dirty talk stimulated a lot of fellers, but left others cold. I remember a feller demanding to leave the Honey Bar, and as we left, saying disgustedly, “I could never screw a girl that said bullshit. Bullshit this, bullshit that. I’m not a machine. I like a girl I can talk to, a little human warmth.”
Many of the girls were modest in a conventional way, which even as a pretense was a compelling sexiness in a whore: “I couldn’t get the little doll to take her dress off,” was a frequent comment from the fellers, and as no tipping was allowed in the houses, no amount of money could persuade the girls to disrobe. Yet far from diminishing their effectiveness it made them sought-after; any variation increased desire and the silk dresses gave these cold quick girls an accidental allure, titillating by flouncy mystification, partly concealing the act in the dark, keeping enough of it quaintly secret for a feller’s interest to be provoked. A girl stark naked was not sexy. Hing was driven wild by even a clothed woman on all fours — as long as she was Australian and large; Ogham said the finest pleasure was to stick an ice pick into a woman’s bloomered bottom; and once in the Bandung, when we were on the subject, Yardley said with awful sincerity, “Jesus, I love to see a woman with her mouth hanging open.”
I knew the girls too well to think of them as kindly and cheerful, but they understood their cues and were dependable. Observe what virtue was in them: obedience, usefulness, reliability, economy — not mortification and solitary prayer. On one occasion, boarding a launch for a run out to a ship, Doris Goh (never absent, never late) stumbled and fell into the water at the quayside. She could not swim and went rigid as soon as she went under. I hauled her out; soaking wet, her dress stuck to her, her make-up was streaked, and her nice hairdo became a heavy rope of loose braid. I told her she could go home if she wanted to, but she said no and soldiered on, earning forty dollars in the wheel house while her dress dried on a hanger in the engine room. They were unambitious in some ways, but not at all lazy and didn’t steal.