I wished I could take it back. I wished I could rewind today or wake up and realize I’d had a nightmare. It felt like a sharp shard was inside me trying to cut its way out. It hurt so much.
The little black dog stood on her hind legs, put her front paws on my knee, and wagged her tail. I petted her shaggy head. The tears kept coming. I just couldn’t stop.
My phone rang. Bug. I answered and hit the speaker icon.
“Hey,” he said. “Your grandma and your sister made it to Keystone okay, got the Guardians, and are heading back. Arabella made a slight detour, so I thought I’d tell you so you don’t freak out.”
“That’s great,” I choked out. My voice sounded strained and sharp.
“I detect some hostility,” Bug said. “Is everything okay?”
“It’s great.”
“Catalina, where are you? What’s wrong?”
“I killed three people.” I was trying to keep it together, but saying it out loud proved too much. The sobs broke through.
“What people? Where?”
“At Keystone Mall. Actually, I killed ten people, three myself and seven through people I beguiled. Ten people, Bug. They can never go home. They had families . . .”
“It’s okay.” Bug’s voice turned soothing. “It’s okay. Why were you at the mall?”
“Things didn’t go well after Diatheke. I picked up a tail, took them to the mall, and killed them.”
“The crew from the Guardians?” Bug guessed.
“Yes.”
“Catalina, they followed you to the mall. You didn’t chase them down. They could’ve walked away at any point. Those fuckers made a deliberate choice to hunt you down instead. It was you or them. Listen to me. You didn’t do anything wrong. You killed ten bad people.”
The rational part of me knew he was right, but it didn’t make me feel any better. I took ten lives.
“If you hadn’t killed them, they would have killed you and then tomorrow or next week, they would have killed someone else. Talk to me. Are you there?”
“Yes. I just can’t stop crying.”
“It’s adrenaline overload. Listen to me, listen to my voice: they were wrong, you were right. People who ride around in Guardians so they can hunt down a lone woman in an abandoned mall don’t deserve mercy. They’re the worst kind of assholes. The world can use less assholes.”
I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. “I’m better,” I told him. “I’ve got it.”
“Good, because your sister just passed the security checkpoint.”
I grabbed a handful of tissues and wiped my face.
“Bug?”
“Yes?”
“Please don’t tell anybody.”
“I won’t,” he promised. “She’s at the front door.”
I jumped up, opened the shades, unlocked the door, and sat back at my desk. The front door swung open. There was a grunt. The door swung shut. Arabella staggered down the hallway and into my office carrying an armload of stuff and dumped it on the floor.
“What’s this?” I asked. My face was red, my eyes bloodshot, and we both pretended they weren’t.
She sat on the floor and dug through the bags, raising each item like she was auctioning it off. “Dog food bowl, water bowl, collar, leash, dog food; goes in the bowl, puppy pads; go on the floor, special cleaner with enzymes to clean up messes, chewy toys, an almost life-like squirrel, a rubber hamburger, little tennis balls, a blankie, a dog pillow, special dog shampoo, and a grooming brush.”
Wow.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“How did you know what to get?”
“I asked Matilda.”
The little dog trotted over to the pile of loot and bit the rubber hamburger. It squeaked. The dog dropped the hamburger and dashed under my desk.
“A paragon of bravery,” Arabella observed.
“She’s been through a lot. Why the sudden attack of kindness?” I asked.
She got up off the floor and hugged me. We almost never hugged anymore.
Arabella headed to the door.
“Hey,” I called.
She turned back to me.
I lowered my voice. “Sergeant Heart has a thing for Mom.”
She blinked, then her eyes went wide. “How do you know?”
“She Skyped with him and he told her that all she had to do was let him know that she needed him. And she said, ‘Benjiro, I need you,’ and then he got terribly excited that she knew his first name.”
“He has a first name?”
“Don’t say anything,” I warned.
“I won’t.”
“I mean it. He’s coming here tomorrow night.”
“What, like a date?”
“No.” I waved my hand. “He and his team are coming to replace Abarca.”
Arabella sagged against the door frame. “Don’t scare me like that.”
I made a face at her and she left.
I stared at the pile of doggie goods on the floor. I loved my sister so much. I loved my whole family more than anything. I had to make sure they kept breathing.
I looked back to the screen, switched to the browser, and clicked to go to the next page of headshots.
Chapter 9
I woke up because the little black dog licked my nose. I hugged her to me, turned on my side, and tried to steal more sleep, but my alarm went off and dragged me out of bed.
The little dog spun in circles at my feet, ridiculously excited that I was conscious. I took a step toward the bathroom and my foot landed in a puddle of cold pee. Awesome.
I hopped to the bathroom on one foot.
Looking at all the male Primes yesterday had gotten me nothing except a pounding headache. I would’ve accomplished more cold-calling random Houses and demanding to know if their Primes had sired any bastards with freaky powers.
After I finished my fruitless search, I spent an hour researching Alessandro. I learned the same things I already knew. Italian count, Antistasi Prime, old family, wealthy, handsome, three broken engagements, no long-term relationships. The shield he presented to the public was bulletproof.
I would’ve searched more, but the documents from Sabrian landed in my inbox. The good news was that Sabrian was confident that Celia’s attack would be classified by the authorities as House warfare or a metamorphosis mage going berserk. The bad news was that the House unit of Houston PD wasn’t staffed with idiots. The moment our packet of documents hit, the cops would realize that Celia attacked me while I was in a car with a man matching the description of the guy who had knifed Conway.
I spent the next few hours carefully reading the documents and then writing two versions of a detailed statement, one with Alessandro in it and the other without. In version number two, I was driving “a vehicle” all by my lonesome. I emailed everything back to Sabrian and instructed her to use her discretion. She told me she would sit on it until she had no choice.
All of that had taken me the entire afternoon and most of the evening. By the time I finished, the sun had set and the little dog had declared victory over the rubber hamburger. Just before dinner I went up to my room “for a minute” because I needed to clear my head, collapsed on my bed, and passed out. And my family apparently let me sleep the whole time because I was still wearing my T-shirt and sweatpants from yesterday. My career as a respected and admired, all-important Head of the House was clearly on the upswing. Not.
I looked like death. My hip hurt. And the worst part of all of this, I had slept for thirteen hours and I was still tired.
I washed my foot in the sink and lifted my shirt and pulled down my sweatpants to look at my hip.
Oh God.
My whole side from the waist down all the way to mid-thigh was black and blue. I poked my thigh and jerked my finger away. Ouch. The bruising was real, and not just a funny prank perpetrated while I was asleep.