‘I doubt the General would wish you to come here to talk politics. He has not forbidden his wife to call, no doubt because my sister was of some use to her when she was ill and he is grateful, but I feel sure he does not wish for regular visits between our families.’
‘The General may command his armies if he wishes but he could not command me.’
I saw the faint colour in his cheeks and I knew that he found it difficult to take his eyes from me. Women such as myself who are attracted by men attract them in turn. Something passes between us. I was aware of it now with Luke Longridge: though my thoughts were obsessed by Richard Tolworthy, strangely enough I could still be interested in Luke Longridge and feel an upsurge of spirits because he, this stern Puritan, was not entirely indifferent to me, although I came from what he called a Royalist background.
So it was an interesting hour I spent in the Longridges’ farm kitchen, and afterwards Luke insisted on riding back with me.
He admonished me mildly as we rode, telling me that it was unwise for me to take solitary rides. ‘There are footpads lurking around,’ he said. ‘A lady alone would be easy prey.’
‘I would never be easy prey, I do assure you.’
‘You do not realize how rough these men can be. I would beg of you to take care.’
‘It is good of you to concern yourself,’ I told him, and he replied: ‘I look forward to more interesting discussions. Do you think I could turn you to our way of thinking in time?’
‘I doubt it,’ I answered. ‘Although I have an open mind.’
We soon came to Far Flamstead. He bowed gravely, and as I took my leave I was aware of that expression in his eyes which I aroused in others and I was amused, he being a Puritan.
The encounter had made something of that dull day. I had discovered that scarred or not I was still attractive.
I went into the Blue Room where Angelet was still asleep. Meg was hovering, and I asked if her mistress had not wakened since she had had the posset.
‘No, she have been in this deep and peaceful sleep, mistress.’
She was still sleeping in the evening and I went down to see Mrs Cherry.
I said: ‘The posset is very potent. Mistress Tolworthy has slept all through the day.’
‘’Tis the poppy juice,’ said Mrs Cherry comfortably. There is nothing like deep sleep to get us through our ills.’
‘Should she have another dose when she awakens?’
‘The tooth will have recovered, I doubt not. But keep the bottle in case she should need it.’
She slept through the night and when I went in to see her she declared her toothache was better.
The next morning we went for a ride and in the afternoon Richard returned. He had a great deal of work to do, we were told, and went to his library.
We supped together in the small parlour and Richard told us that as he thought that he would have to be in Whitehall often it might be a good idea if he stayed there. It would save the journey back and forth from Flamstead.
I asked if the trouble with the Puritans and the Scots had anything to do with his business there.
‘Not any more than other matters,’ he told me. ‘The army is below strength and I am constantly attempting to have that rectified. This entails meetings with the King. There have been too many troubles. The war with Spain was a disaster.’
‘I believe he went into that to gratify his great friend Buckingham.’
‘There is no doubt that Buckingham had immense influence with the King.’
‘His murder, while untimely for him, was timely for England.’
‘Who can say?—But our troubles seem to be rising through the financial embarrassments caused by the wars with France and Spain, and this means that everyone not in the army fails to see the importance of it. This is what I have to drive home.’
‘Perhaps if the King did not govern like an absolute monarch, there would not be this trouble.’
Richard looked earnestly at me. ‘Who shall say?’ he said. ‘But I regret the murmurings against His Majesty. I cannot see that they will bring aught but ill to the land, and I want us to be ready to meet whatever comes.’
‘How knowledgeable you are, Bersaba,’ said Angelet.
‘Knowledgeable enough to realize how little I know,’ I replied. ‘I read a good deal and listen when I can and thus I pick up certain information.’
Richard smiled at me approvingly and, remembering the admiration I had seen in Luke Longridge’s eyes, a glow of confidence came to me, and I think perhaps it was this which made me act as I did.
As she was eating Angelet suddenly put her hand to her cheek.
‘The tooth?’ I asked.
She nodded. Then she said: ‘I had a rather painful tooth while you were away, Richard. Mrs Cherry prescribed one of her possets. I must say, they are good.’
He expressed concern that she had suffered and his pleasure that Mrs Cherry had produced the cure. And we talked of the effects of the ship tax and other such matters which excluded Angelet from the conversation, and when the meal was over he went back to his study to work.
After we had left the supper table Angelet complained of her tooth. Eating had brought it on again and she was in pain. I suggested that she have a dose of Mrs Cherry’s concoction which had done her so much good before and she eagerly agreed that this had helped her once and would do so again. I could see that she was telling herself that if she had violent toothache Richard would not expect her to join him and the thought comforted her considerably. I even wondered whether in some ways she welcomed this painful tooth.
‘He can be told that my tooth is bothering me …’ she began.
‘I’ll send Meg,’ I said.
I helped her undress and myself poured out the liquid. ‘It seems a little more than last time,’ I said.
‘Never mind. It will make me sleep the better.’
She drank it eagerly and it was not long before the poppy juice had its effect. I sat by her bed for a while watching her. I was struck by the youthful innocence of her face; there was a certain smile about her lips which suggested satisfaction, and I knew this was because she had escaped from a situation which was distasteful to her.
I rang the bell for Meg so that she could take a message to the study where Richard was working. She did not answer it. I remembered then that Angelet had said something earlier about her bells being out of order and that it was going to be repaired.
I went to my room, but my thoughts were so full of what was happening between Richard and Angelet that I forgot Meg. I undressed slowly and sat before my mirror for a while. I did not see myself but my sister’s innocent face with that smile of relief on her lips, and I thought how different we were and what I would have given to have been in her place. I remembered then that Richard had not been told of her toothache and that I had promised that Meg should take the message.
On impulse I decided that I would tell him myself. I went quickly to the library, but he was not there. The house seemed very quiet as, with a wildly beating heart, I made my way to their bedroom.
He must have heard my footsteps, for as I lifted my hand to the handle the door was opened. He took my hand and drew me in.
His touch unnerved me. Fleetingly my need of him swept over me, subduing everything else. He did not speak. It was as though some spark had ignited the passion in us both. He drew me to him and then it was too late for me to resist.
‘Angelet … ’ he began softly.
Now was the moment to explain. I almost did … and then it passed. Of course I looked like her. He could not see the scars by candlelight. While I despised myself, I was making a bargain with fate: Let this happen … just once … and I’ll go away … I’ll never come back. I’ll never see him again.