I felt a light sweat break through me, instinctively I looked at my watch and thought that our conversation would soon end for my salvation. The question was so energetically strong that it penetrated the very depths of my inner world. And really, what do I do in this life? What is my main business in life? After this conversation, I soon went home to Moscow.
Six months later I returned to Puttaparthi and Sathya Sai Baba again invited me for an interview. In less than a few minutes, he turned to me and carefully and intently looked into my eyes. It's hard to say why, but inside me there was a feeling that he would ask “the same” question again. In an instant, I experienced horror from the fact that six months had passed, and I was still not able to understand the business of my life.
Sathya Sai Baba smiled a little before I heard his soft and melodious voice quietly ask me, “what are you doing?” In an instant, I realized that despite the fact that so much time had passed, I had not advanced a millimeter in understanding what exactly I was doing in life. There was a terrifying pause for me, I realized that the longer I was silent, the closer I was to fainting. Gathering all my strength, I whispered, "I don't know… I don't know what I'm doing in this life." Sai Baba looked directly into my eyes, and I felt infinity shining from the depth of his.
A couple of months passed, I left for Moscow, and soon returned to Puttaparthi. Suddenly, I caught myself thinking that during personal communication, Sathya Sai Baba would surely ask me “this” question again. I understood that until I gave myself a clear answer, Sai Baba would not fall behind. There was a feeling of a student who did not learn his homework.
All the people around me dreamed of an interview, it was ridiculous for me to admit to myself that I would have gladly refused. Yes, it sounds silly now, but I didn't even come to the morning programs on purpose a couple of times, in the hope that Sathya Sai Baba would invite my group, and I would miss the meeting. But what needs to happen always happens. The day came when Sathya Sai Baba invited me for an interview as part of a small group.
Before entering his room, we had to sit in front of the door for several minutes, waiting for him to complete his communication with some minister who had come from Delhi. Finally, we were invited into the room. Tension built inside me from anticipation of the denouement. Sathya Sai Baba turned to me and, as if not noticing my excitement, asked, “what are you doing?”
I did not have a pre-prepared answer, so I spontaneously answered, "I am an artist, I paint pictures."
Sathya Sai Baba smiled and said, "yes, that is the correct answer."
At that moment, my soul filled with a joyful sense of accomplishment. The creative energy of God is manifested in everything. Everything that a person does is creativity: Science and art, literature and pedagogy, finance and politics, sports and journalism. Since God is the Creator, a person reveals his divine potential precisely with the help of creativity.
Unfortunately, many people perceive the spiritual path in a rather narrow way – fasting and praying, living in the Himalayas, and studying philosophical texts. In fact, the spiritual path is the fullness of human life. Communicating with Sathya Sai Baba, I began to understand that the spiritual path is absolutely everything that happens to me, my every thought, my every word, my every action.
22. "Formulate your goal!"
One of the questions that Sathya Sai Baba sometimes asked during personal communication was, “what do you want?” Sometimes he would say, "state your goal!" The question itself contains a great spiritual message and food for thought. Hearing such a question, people were immersed in long reflections. His resonant voice remained in my memory asking the question to which the answer determined the further circumstances of life and opened up new horizons in a person.
Sathya Sai Baba was a clairvoyant, and, naturally, many had a desire to find out from him the answers to the pressing questions of life. Many wanted to consult with him about what to do and how to act in various life situations. But Sathya Sai Baba never allowed himself to impose on a person what to do in life and did not offer ready-made answers.
We are accustomed to shifting the responsibility for what is happening in life to someone else. Sathya Sai Baba never deprived people of the right to free choice, on the contrary, he inspired them to make independent decisions. Each person himself must come to an understanding of where he aspires to be and what he does in life.
23. Sathya Sai Baba always spoke personally, taking into account the needs and level of consciousness of the listener
I remember once Sathya Sai Baba was asked what spiritual practice he would recommend. To this, he advised me to repeat the mantras in Sanskrit. He said that Sanskrit is the divine language in which the Vedas are written. Sanskrit is a language with a special healing vibration that purifies both the inner world of a person and the surrounding space. He said that people belonging to different nationalities and religions can chant mantras in Sanskrit. I recall with great inspiration this beautiful answer of Sathya Sai Baba about the greatness of Sanskrit, for I have experienced the power of mantras many times in my life.
It didn't take long, maybe a week, and I came in for an interview with another band where a very related question was asked about the benefits of mantra practice. Sathya Sai Baba laughed merrily and playfully, and then suddenly announced that he did not like Sanskrit at all, and did not like people who chant mantras, for the reason that it develops pride. He said that those who chant Sanskrit mantras mistakenly think they are becoming more spiritual and getting closer to God. Listening to these words, I could not believe my ears.
Just a week ago, he spoke completely different! How was this possible? Further, Sathya Sai Baba said that in the national culture of each of those present, there are traditional prayers that sound in their native language. At that interview there were people of different nationalities and religions: Russians, Tatars, Americans, and Indians. He recommended to each of those present not to think about Sanskrit, but to communicate with God in their own language.
I had the unique opportunity of frequent communication with Sathya Sai Baba, which allowed me to observe and compare. At times, his words seemed contradictory, but in fact they were always fully in line with the needs of the person in front of him at that moment.
What he said in one meeting could be the exact opposite of what he said in another. My first reaction was great surprise and even shock, but then I realized the full depth of his individual approach to absolutely every person.
There were a lot of people around Sathya Sai Baba, hundreds of thousands and even millions. One of the most important miracles of Sathya Sai Baba was that, despite the large number of people around him, he had a unique ability to provide a personal and individual approach to each person. That is why all his recommendations and advice were deeply personal.
What might be useful to one person might not be acceptable to another. It is very difficult to quote Sathya Sai Baba because he always spoke to the personal needs of a person and took into account the level of consciousness of each listener.
24. Oh my God! How to understand Sathya Sai Baba?
I was present at an interview when several people asked Sathya Sai Baba to instruct them in the practice of meditation. Sathya Sai Baba often gave instructions on the practices of Kriya Yoga without mentioning that it was Kriya Yoga. He sometimes taught yoga breathing exercises that improved health and harmonized the internal state, relieved stress, and gave more energy for an active and productive life.