That’s exactly how I feel.
Well, shredded and zapped of all ability to think or speak.
I can only feel right now, and my God, it’s amazing.
I collapse onto the mattress next to him.
I can’t breathe. I can’t speak. I can’t even hear.
And everything tingles, right down to my toes.
Holy shit…
Fucking amazing is an understatement.
I don’t know how much time passes before my mouth finds words, how much time before I can stop panting.
I don’t even care.
I can stay like this forever.
And then I remember…I really can’t.
Chapter Twenty
Anya
My eyes fly open sometime later and I sit up with a gasp, very well aware of my nakedness.
I look down at Dante and trace a path over the ripped muscles of his back.
He’s naked, too.
And my God, if I could, I’d choose to live out the rest of my days stark naked and under this man.
Under him, on top of him, cuddled into him…I’m not picky.
There are plenty of positions I’d be very happy to occupy for eternity.
I swallow a groan and rub a hand over my face.
I am just violating so many rules today.
But the biggest issues hanging between us — the huge-ass elephant in the room and the elephant’s twin — is my true identity and reason for being here in Vegas.
Yeah, that will be an interesting one to hash out.
Because for as much of a liar as he might be, I guarantee I’m taking that title.
He opens his eyes a crack as I gently kiss his lips. “Hey,” he murmurs in a sleepy voice.
“Hey,” I say, dragging my fingers down the side of his arm. “So I was wondering…how do you think this is going to go over with Heaven and Matteo?”
“This thing?” He furrows his brow.
I roll my eyes. “Yes, with us!”
He snickers. “I think Heaven will be just fine with it.”
“And your brother?” I bite my lower lip. “I don’t think he’s a big fan of mine, to be honest. Just a feeling I get.”
“You have to know Matteo,” he says. “He’s a pretty overprotective guy. And now with the baby, he’s even worse.”
I nod. “I get that he doesn’t want anything to hurt them. Or anyone.”
“There’s always gonna be someone lurking,” he mumbles, flinging an arm over his eye.
I take a deep breath. “Who are you protecting them from, Dante?” I ask in a soft voice, pulling at a thread from the comforter.
He moves the arm so that it’s no longer shielding his eyes. “Too many people to count, Anya. But that’s how things work when you’re the king. There are always people waiting to knock you off your throne.”
“King of what, exactly?”
He levels me with a stare. “He’s a very powerful guy with a lot of cash-soaked businesses under his control. And there are a lot of people who want a piece. Hell, they want it all.” He shrugs. “I’m here to make sure that doesn’t happen.”
“But you don’t want to be here. At least, before me, you didn’t. Why?”
He sits up and runs a hand through his tousled hair. “You ask a lot of questions, you know that?”
“If this thing between us is going to work, we have to be straight with each other, right?” I shrug. “And I’m just curious because, you know, you’re a real estate investor, not a bodyguard. I’m trying to connect the dots, to understand you better.”
He lets out a sigh and falls back onto the pillow. “Anya, I think we both know I’m not a real estate investor.”
I lie on the mattress next to him. “So who are you then?”
“I’m the guy who always makes sure the people I care about are safe,” he says. “And I’ll do whatever it takes to get the job done.”
“Good work ethic,” I murmur with a smile.
“It’s complicated.”
“Isn’t it always?” I muse.
“More complicated than you think.” He averts his now-troubled gaze and scrubs a hand down the front of his face. “Family means everything to me. And I let down a family member once. I can’t do it again. I won’t.” He looks back at me. “I guess I’ve been trying to prove that to myself and everyone else ever since.”
“What happened?”
“I was watching over my younger cousin, Emilia, while her brother was out getting caught up with the wrong fucking crowd. He was a troublemaker and he managed to get on the radar of some really bad guys. So after I’d fallen asleep, she sneaked out and went after him because she was worried. They were both killed. But what they did to her before that…” His voice trails off and he shakes his head. “Brutal. Fucking animalistic.”
“That’s terrible,” I whisper. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s why I take my responsibilities to my family so seriously. I feel like I owe them…all of them. So whenever someone who can hurt any of them crosses my path, I handle it.”
Shit, we really are the same.
“My brother is dead,” I blurt out.
Dante’s eyebrows furrow. “I thought you said—”
I shake my head, tears springing to my eyes. “He was killed. Shot to death. I was with him but out of sight. He was my best friend,” I swipe at my eyes.
“Shit, Anya. I’m sorry,” he says, pulling me into his chest.
“I only have my uncle now,” I whisper. “And it’s so hard knowing I’m pretty much on my own.”
“How are things with your uncle?”
“He’s an ass,” I say with a sniffle. “But he’s all I have left.”
Dante shakes his head. “No, he’s not. You’ve got a new life out here. You can write your own ticket.”
I let out a dry laugh. “Like you said before, it’s complicated. But I just don’t…” I swallow hard. “I don’t want that life anymore. I want to start over.”
“Isn’t that why you’re here?”
I blink fast, the real reason for my stay in Vegas breaking through the cloud of bliss, comfort, and ripped muscle currently cocooning me. “Yeah,” I say softly. “It is.”
“So you don’t have to go back to it. You can make that choice.” He smiles. “Isn’t that what life’s all about?”
“I just know I’ve made a lot of bad ones,” I say. “I want to start making good ones.”
“Me too,” he murmurs, stroking the back of my head. “Starting now.”
I pull away and look up at him. “Is this totally insane?” I say it more to myself than to him. But really, it’s a rhetorical question. I already know the answer.
“Completely,” he says, a smirk tugging at his lips. “But I’m all in.” He lifts an eyebrow. “You?”
So many thoughts loop through my mind in that instant. My uncle has expectations of me. He’s done so much and never loses a chance to rub it in my face. I have obligations to him and to my brother, and my livelihood will hang in the balance if I walk away. Uncle Boris has already promised me that.
Can I just disappear and start over?
Will I be able to pull myself out of his death grip on me?
I have to try.
No, I have to succeed.
I used to think finding my brother’s killers would make me whole.
But killing in cold blood only makes me feel more and more empty, a broken shell of who I used to be.
I’m tired of being manipulated by him, of him calling all the shots because I’m afraid of the repercussions, because I feel guilty about him stepping in to take care of us.
I mean, I’ve been out here flying blind with no direction from him at all, and the reality is, he’s just driven by money promised from this illusory ‘contact’.
I’ve trusted him and he’s taken advantage of that trust for years. For all I know, this job he sent me to do has nothing to do with Maks, and everything to do with my uncle’s plans to reinvent himself for the bratva.
It wasn’t until he called off my reconnaissance that the thought even entered my mind.
But now that it’s there, it festers like a sore that just won’t heal.
I really want to make the good choices. I have to reclaim my life.