I release my last card. A King. The only way James could beat me is if he has an Ace.
Instead, he has another four.
As we count up our cards to see who is buying the next round of drinks, I think about what he said. Am I the same way? Would I submit for love?
How much do I love Katie, exactly?
Put the kink aside. Think of us as we are in normal, everyday life. Yeah, we still have abrasive, dominant personalities that will clash. We would probably need to keep separate residences for time-outs, but is it so hard to believe that we could essentially live together? Make love? Do business? No, it’s not. Some concessions would have to be made, such as who is making decisions for a day, but at the end of it a glass of wine and a kiss to those heavenly lips would be enough to placate me. Maybe a bath, too.
Now put the kink back in.
I want Kathryn, both as she is to the world and as she is to me. I don’t want to make her submit every day. Maybe once a week… every two weeks. Once a month. However often she is comfortable with. I’m a busy guy who definitely gets his rocks off to a woman submitting to him, but for love, I could go without here and there if Kathryn wasn’t in the mood. I’m sure I’d still be getting laid. Well.
Kathryn isn’t going to be happy with that, however. I can’t blame her. I’d be miserable the other way around.
I tell James my desire to debut Katie as my sub. He looks at me, wide-eyed, as if I told him that the Queen of England had called me up asking me for domination services.
“Yeah, right.”
“Obviously, she’s worried about her image.”
“No shit!”
I put my head in my hands. “Is it really impossible for two assholes like us to be together? Happily?”
“I dunno. Look at the Andrews. They’re both assholes.”
“I don’t want to become Ken Andrews.”
“I dunno, he’s got that hot wife Lana. I bet she gives and takes really good. I mean, I know for a fact. I’ve seen them on that stage.”
The empty stage is enticing tonight. Mostly because I think about dragging Katie up there and making a show out of her. I’ve never performed before. Least of all here, in front of friends and business acquaintances. It’s not unheard of, for sure. James has done it, the Andrews do it all the time, and let’s not forget the Warrens who are regulars on a stage these days. This is very much a place where business and pleasure mingle, and then are completely separated. Unless you act so uncouth that you make legitimate enemies, nobody is going to care if you spanked a girl and got your cock sucked in front of everyone else here.
If you care, you shouldn’t be here.
James and I have our last round of drinks in silence. I’m contemplating the world and my place in it. Not just existentially – okay, really existentially. But I’m focusing on my relationship to Kathryn. How much do I want her? Just how much? I’ve pushed her boundaries as far as I have because it turned me on and made me feel like a stronger man and Dom. Watching her transform from wary woman to glorious submissive has been one of the most enchanting experiences of my life.
In turn, I’ve barely compromised a thing.
No wonder she’s irate.
I thank James for the drinks and go to pick up my coat from the checkroom. A server goes out and hails a taxi for me, and it’s waiting by the time I go upstairs to the street and appear on the curb. I tell the driver my condo building and sit in the back, sinking into the seat and wondering what drinks I can make at home.
It’s gonna be one of those nights.
Drinks. Let’s be real, probably porn. My hand and my dick. It’s gonna be a wild night of me drowning my thoughts and fantasizing about Kathryn. God help me.
I see her before me, getting ready to kiss me, grab my cock, and love me until I can’t physically love anymore. Fuck my hard cock. Fuck my attraction to her. Fuck my needs.
Fuck her.
“Do you want me, Ian?” That’s what she would say as she sidles up next to me and starts nibbling on my ear. “Do you want me to take you to the edge and back?”
Yes.
Kathryn submitting to me is about her letting go of control and being reassured that she does have a place in the world, that she does have the ability to transcend what she’s facing and make a name for herself. If I submit to her… what is it about?
Do I want to know?
I lean forward and tap the driver on the shoulder. Once I have his attention, I give him the address to Kathryn’s place. It requires whipping a U right in the middle of the busy city road, but he does it expertly, ensuring a nice tip from me.
The same doorman from before waits for me. When I approach his desk, he says, “Sorry, but Ms Alison is still requiring everyone to be buzzed up first.”
“That’s fine. She’s not expecting me anyway.” I put both hands on the desk, not trying to lord myself over this smaller man, but definitely making my presence known. “However, do tell her that it’s Ian Mathers. And she knows why I’m here.”
“Certainly, sir.” The doorman gets on the phone. I can’t hear what he’s saying over the traffic outside and the rabble of other residents and their visitors in this lobby.
Just as well. If I’m denied entry, I don’t want to hear his side of the conversation anyway.
“Ms. Alison has requested your immediate presence. You may go up.”
The elevator opens. Here we go.
Chapter 24
IAN
This time I know to expect a presentation when I arrive. What I don’t expect is the kind of Kathryn Alison I encounter.
She’s clearly been lazing about her apartment all day. That much is evident from what she’s wearing: pink, baggy T-shirt that outlines her braless breasts and black cotton shorts showing off the shape of her ass. Her arms are crossed. Her hair is a sloppy bun on top of her head. No makeup. No jewelry. It’s Kathryn at her most casual.
She’s intimidating as fuck.
Her demeanor is what does it. Her stature. Standing tall and firm, Kathryn isn’t going to back down to anything I do or say tonight. I am in her domain. I am but a pawn to her Queen.
My mother taught me well, after all.
“How nice of you to stop by, Ian.” Although her voice is soft, there’s still a harsh, belittling edge. I do not doubt that many men out there would quake to have it directed at them.
I may be one of those men.
“Kathryn.” I’m not going to show weakness.
She’s fighting back a smile. “To what do I owe this pleasure? Because I am sure that this is a pleasure call.”
Deep within the Domme’s domain, I find myself battling being snarky to save face or deferring to whatever she wants to do or say. If only it were so easy to pick one. I’m a Dom. I’m an alpha male. I’m supposed to be able to make these decisions on the fly and be wholly confident in them. Besides, that’s what Kathryn expects from me, regardless of her plans for me.
I wouldn’t want to disappoint her, now would I?
“My offer still stands, Kathryn. I want to do right by you, but I also have things that I want. I want you. That is without a doubt.” I square my shoulders to match her stature. “Whatever you want, and in return, whatever I want.”
“Hmm. A noble offer, but I have yet to get the feeling you really want what I offer.”
I take off my coat and toss it over a chair. “And what do you offer, my darling?”
“You know what I offer.”
“Not really.” I approach her, slowly, as if I’m getting ready to tear a thorn out of her paw. No, I don’t think she’s wounded. Especially for feeling the way she does. Damn if I’m not being cautious, though. “I know you offer domination, but I have no idea what kind. What are you into, Kathryn? Humiliating men? Stripping them of their privileges and making them beg for shame?” My tie comes next, sliding off my neck and landing on my coat. The buttons of my shirt struggle against my fingers. “Or do you want them to lick your boots?”