And just to set the record straight, I left him. A split second after he left me.
He told me he wanted to do his own thing, follow his own mission, as he put it. He wanted to act on leads that people were sending in to his blog.
I stared at him. "You're basing your plan for human salvation on e-mail?"
He looked back at me. "You're basing yours on a Voice inside your head. A Voice that isn't actually just you talking to yourself. Right?"
Well, when he put it that way...
I just couldn't comprehend what was happening.
And then we had to tell the kids. I went over a hundred conversations in my reeling head. What would they say? How could we explain this?
"I've decided to go my own way," Fang told the flock abruptly. He cast a glance at Ari, then went on. "Almost anyone's welcome to come with me."
Go with him! Over my dead body.
"I think we should all stick together until Fang comes back," I said calmly. Because if any of you pick him instead of me, I'll kill you.
Four pairs of flock eyes, one dog, and Ari stared at us, back and forth.
"Holy crap," said Total.
"You guys shouldn't do this," said Nudge, looking worried.
I shrugged, my face flaming. Fang was the one doing it.
"You crazy kids," Total muttered. He paced back and forth on his short legs, then went and sat on top of Angel's feet. She reached down absently and stroked his head.
"We have to choose?" Gazzy squeaked. He looked at Fang, then at me. Then at Ari.
Crap, I thought.
"I'll go with Fang." Iggy's face was expressionless, but his voice hurt my heart. Shocked, I was glad he couldn't see my face.
I swallowed, unable to talk.
"I'm going to stay with Max," said Nudge unhappily, putting her hand in mine. I squeezed it, but I saw how she looked at Ari out of the corners of her eyes. She didn't trust him, didn't want him with us.
"I'll go wherever Angel goes," Total said. "If I must."
The Gasman and Angel were silent. Angel must have been communicating with him telepathically because he shook his head and looked like he was concentrating hard. Finally Angel nodded her head decisively and nudged Total off her feet to come stand next to me.
"I'm going with Max," she said.
"Yeah, whatever," said Total grumpily, flopping back onto Angel's feet.
"I'm going with Fang," said Gazzy. I stared at him in astonishment.
Ari was the only one left, a glaring outsider to our family.
"No-brainer," Ari mumbled, coming to stand by me. His face was starting to heal very fast, the way our wounds did. "Max."
Please, please, don't let me regret this, I prayed to a higher power. I mean, any more than I already regret it.
"Fine," said Fang, slinging on his pack.
"Fine," I said, tilting my chin up, wishing with all my strength that he wouldn't do this, and making darn sure he couldn't tell I was wishing it.
And that was that. The flock was split in two. And I really had no idea if I would ever see Fang and his group again.
63
A sign of leadership? Facing your remaining flock with a calm face and a confident air when it's all you can do not to barf your guts up in the snow from stress and misery.
Half my flock was gone. Fang was gone. My right-hand man. How could he do this? Didn't he need me?
I straightened my shoulders. I didn't need him. Not anymore.
"Okay, guys," I said to Nudge, Angel, and Ari. And Total. I could see that Nudge and Angel were trying to keep stiff upper lips. Possibly Ari and Total, but it was harder to tell with them.
"I can't believe they went," Nudge said, typically blurting out something I was thinking but would never say aloud. "We shouldn't split up. We promised to never split up again. We need to all stick together."
Tell that to Fang. "It's not what I hoped would happen, but we're fine," I said authoritatively.
"What are we going to do now?" Angel asked. "Do we have a plan?"
I gave her a lofty look. "There's always a plan. How many times do I have to tell you guys?" Come on, Max, pull a plan out of your hat, quick.
Go to Europe.
Oh, thank God. Goddess. Whatever. The Voice finally had something constructive to say and not just more fortune-cookie crap.
"We're going to Europe," I said firmly. I handed out packs, and only then realized that Ari or I would have to carry Total, mostly. Neither Nudge nor Angel would be able to take his weight for very long.
Great. I just had to hope that Ari wouldn't eat Total.
"Europe!" Nudge sounded excited. "I've always wanted to go to Europe! Where are we going? I want to see the Eiffel Towel!"
"That's tower," I said. "Eiffel Tower. Actually, we're headed to..."
England, first. Start with England. Look for Schools.
"England," I said, holding my arms out for Total. He gave a little hop, and I zipped him inside my jacket. Only his small fuzzy face peeked out at the neck. He still looked a little mangy, and I hoped his face fur would fill in soon. "We're going to look for Schools, gather information. Learn everything we can about this Re-Evolution Plan. And we're going to have to move fast."
"I'm on your side," Ari said, sounding sincere. "I'm going to protect you no matter what." He looked down, and I caught a glimpse of the scared seven-year-old he was inside. "Until my expiration date, anyway."
I nodded, not letting any softer emotions through.
"Okay, then," I said, starting to run down the driveway for a fast takeoff. "We head east!"
As always, I felt much, much better once we were high, high in the air. The land below us was a patchwork of green and brown, with tiny silver threads of rivers and gray clumps of cities. It was cold, and the wind made my eyes water, but I felt calmer, more in control, in the air.
It started to occur to me that England was really far away, over a honking big bunch of water. We'd flown for seven, eight hours straight a couple times, but it was hard, and we'd been wiped afterward. And God knew Ari wasn't that strong a flier. Not with those weird taped-on wings. Hmm. No place to land and rest over the Atlantic Ocean.
Go to Washington DC. There's a direct flight from Dulles.
Like, a plane?
Exactly like. Right down to the shiny silver outside.
Us...on a plane. That seemed so wrong, somehow. Redundant.
Plus, there was the whole cooped-up, claustrophobia issue.
You'll be fine.
"We're headed to Washington DC," I told my new miniflock. "We're going to take a plane from there."
Everyone looked astonished. I wondered how we would get Ari, with his bizarre and scary appearance, through a busy airport.
"We're going to take a plane?" Nudge asked, her voice practically squeaking.
Total frowned. "Isn't that redundant?"
I sighed.
64
Flying west without Max was like flying with one wing missing, Fang thought. He kept seeing her face, furious, confused, and, even though she would never admit it, scared. He'd seen that face just about every day of his entire life. He'd seen it filthy with caked-on dirt, bruised and bloodied, snarling, laughing, sleeping, telling complicated lies with total sincerity...looking down at him with that light in her eyes, that communication between them...
But she had his back against a wall. What did she expect him to do? Just lie back and take Ari? Like, oh, sure, he'd just forget how many times Ari'd tried to kill them, how likely it was that he was wired and tracking them, how dangerous he was to have around. He was a disaster of patched-together body parts, upgrades, twisted emotions, psychological torture. A walking, flying time bomb about to explode.
Fang looked at it this way: If you knew you were checking out in a couple days no matter what, well, what did it matter what the heck you did? You could do crazy stuff, dangerous stuff, break any law, kill anybody. None of it would matter because you'd be cold and stiff in a couple days. Friends didn't matter, loyalty didn't matter. You could burn any bridge.