“What conversation? What did he tell you?” I’m totally testing her. If she tells me what he said there is no way I’m confessing to her what happened last night.
“Ah, ah, ah. I’m not falling for that.” She smiles. Dang, she’s good. “So spill.”
I explain everything. How Matt seemed interested since I ditched the beige. That I stayed last night and brought him dinner, which we ate together. How I was about to leave when we ran into each other and the next thing I knew, we were kissing.
And it was amazing.
“Then it was over. He said we shouldn’t be doing this, gave me forty bucks and sent me on my way,” I finished miserably.
“Wait a minute, he gave you forty bucks? What for?” Ivy practically screeches.
“Shhh.” I shake my head, wanting to laugh but not really finding the situation that funny. Maybe I will someday but not at the moment. “It was for dinner since I paid for it.”
“Oh, thank God,” she mumbles and this time I do laugh. I can’t help it. “I thought he was trying to pay for your services or whatever.” The entire story is just absurd.
“I thought the same thing!”
Then we’re both laughing, leaning against the building as if we need it to hold us upright.
“So I’m guessing now he’s ignoring you?” Ivy asks once she’s composed herself.
I nod, my laughter dying. “I didn’t help matters when I left last night. I didn’t say a word to him, just turned and fled like my feet were on fire.”
“And then you show up this morning in your beige ensemble and it’s back to normal.” Ivy sighs. “What a mess.”
“I don’t know what else to do. His rejection, it . . . hurt,” I confess, pressing my lips together to prevent myself from saying anything else. She’s my friend but we’re not that close. I don’t want her to think I’m a total idiot by divulging my past. I’ve had a lot of crazy stuff happen to me. Beyond the perverts and the crazy bosses and the Hollywood creeps looking for blowjobs, I had boyfriends who weren’t that great either. Men look at a pretty face and decent body and think I’m easy.
I change the way I dress and Matt kisses me. Then he pushes me away. And I wanted him to notice me. Deep down inside, I want to be more to Matt than just his assistant.
I’m stupid to be upset because I brought this on myself, but I can’t help myself. When it comes to men, I flat out don’t think rationally.
I don’t want Ivy to think I’m crazy. Even though I sort of am.
“You need to be defiant in the face of rejection, my friend. And he didn’t reject you because he doesn’t want you. He’s probably trying to do the right thing,” Ivy points out.
Hmm. She might be right. Matt seems like a pretty stand-up guy from what I’ve witnessed. I know he’d never set out to purposely toy with me or anything. “It won’t work,” I tell her, my voice firm. “He’s my boss, I’m his employee. I don’t know why I let you two convince me something like this could work.”
“No, no. Don’t you dare give up. I won’t let you.” Ivy grabs hold of my upper arms and gives me a little shake before releasing her hold. “You’re going to wear one of your new outfits tomorrow. No neutrals allowed, okay? Matt needs you on your best behavior and that means you looking your best too. There’s a lot at stake tomorrow.”
She’s so right. Tomorrow is by far the most important day of his newfound career. “Fine, okay. I’ll wear my other new dress. Not even a fleck of tan in sight.”
“Good.” Ivy smiles. “And then tomorrow night, you’re going to the party, and you’ll be wearing this dress. You’ll greet everyone, be an impressive representative of DeLuca Winery even if it kills you. You will make Matt so proud he’ll know without a doubt what a valuable employee he has in you. If he happens to also see you as a beautiful woman, then so be it.”
Where is she going with this? “And?”
“And if he makes a move, fabulous. But I’m going to warn you.” Ivy’s expression turns scarily solemn. “If he doesn’t make a move, don’t be surprised. He tries his hardest to do the right thing, especially because of his father.”
“What do you mean, because of his father? What’s wrong with him?”
Ivy makes a face. “Vinnie DeLuca has a total slime-ball reputation and embarrasses Matt constantly. They pretty much don’t talk anymore.”
“Slime-ball reputation? Like how?” Curiosity fills me.
“Womanizer. Liked to start fights, especially when he was playing pro baseball. There were rumors he took steroids and that he gambled and cheated a lot.” Ivy shakes her head. “Matt’s always tried his hardest to distance himself from his father and his horrible reputation. He’s always been a pretty straight arrow.”
And here I come along, going from boring and bland to obvious and desperate at warp speed. No wonder he kissed me and then rejected me. He’s most definitely trying to do the right thing.
While I’ve been trying to do the wrong thing.
“I feel like a jerk,” I say with a sigh.
“You shouldn’t. We encouraged you.” Ivy sighs as well. “I feel like a jerk too.”
“I’ll wear the dress. But I won’t try and flaunt myself in front of Matt or anything. It’s wrong. He doesn’t need that sort of trouble or guilt.” I kick at a rock, feeling crappy for doing the right thing.
“You amaze me, you know that? Matt’s lucky to have you by his side.”
“I really hope he feels that way,” I say, my heart twisting in my chest.
Matt
MATT’S LUCKY TO have you by his side.
I really hope he feels that way.
I didn’t mean to eavesdrop on Bryn and Ivy’s conversation, but I came upon it by accident. And when I realized they were talking about me—and specifically my dad—I had to stick around and hear what they said.
I hated hearing what Ivy said about Dad but there’s no denying that she spoke the truth. He is a slime ball and has a terrible reputation, one I try to distance myself from as much as possible.
That’s why I had to push Bryn away last night. I couldn’t take that amazing kiss we shared any further no matter how badly I wanted to. And damn, I really wanted to.
Listening to Bryn say she felt like a jerk over what happened last night made me realize that she wanted it as bad as I did. I’d firmly believed I’d pushed myself on her. After she left without saying a word, my concentration had been shot, and I’d closed up shop. Drove home frustrated and horny, going over what happened between Bryn and me over and over again, trying to figure out how exactly how I let it happen. That kiss. Pulling Bryn into my arms. Touching her.
Yeah. A huge mistake, not one I can forget easily either.
It had been tremendously hard having to face her this morning, though somehow she made it easier on me by appearing in a beige outfit again, hardly looking at me, like I scared her. This Bryn I knew and understood, or so I thought. I’d been dealing with wallpaper Bryn for months and I was used to her like this.
It’s gorgeous, elegant, sexy-as-fuck Bryn that does me in and makes my head spin. Not only does she look amazing, but she becomes bolder with the stylish clothes and the beautiful hair. She moves with confidence, looks me in the eye, talks to me.
Seeing her this morning in her usual beige getup tripped me up but only momentarily. Hearing her voice, watching her, and all I saw was the real woman behind the facade. She can hide all she wants in drab colors and severe hairstyles; I know who she is beneath the surface.
And I want more despite wanting to do the right thing.
She confuses me. I thought by pushing her away, it would solve all my problems. Instead, I feel like I have a whole bunch more.