He has a slate." She tossed her hair derisively, which caused a mist of dandruff and cheap scent. I let her see me put away the coin I had offered, so she went back to her duties. Time-waster!" she muttered, scowling.
I assume that's you," I told Lemnus cheerily, just as he stopped being a timid weasel, flicked open a folding knife, and lashed out at me. I had expected trouble. I elbowed his arm up and just escaped slashing. Lemnus barged out of the cell past me, but I had my boot out at ankle level. He crashed to the floor. I would have disarmed and overpowered him, but the doorkeeper had turned back and jumped on me. She was still after that half-denarius, and prepared to fight dirty for it. I freed myself from being choked and gave her a kneejerk that doubled her up, squealing. The Cretan had legged it again at top speed. As I followed, women appeared from all directions. The madam had been right. they were all highly trained, trained to get in my way. I shouldered aside a desert princess, squashed her pale friend against a doorpost, deflected one fury with my hip and another with my forearm. Lemnus had bolted out of doors and when I burst back on to the quay he had vanished from view. However, men were staring towards a public latrine as if a fugitive might have rushed in there, so I raced inside too. There were five men taking philosophy breaks, all strangers, all immersed in their tasks. No sign of Lemnus. No other exit. It would have been rude to run in, then run straight out again. I took a seat. Enthroned on a spare spot, I recovered my breath, growling quietly. Nobody took any notice. There is always one loser who talks to himself. At least there was a benefit in chasing a suspect in a high grade imperial area. since Claudius and his successors might be caught short while inspecting harbour facilities, the twenty-seater latrine was fit for an emperor. The five-to-a-side seating benches were marble-clad, with the smoothest possible edges on their beautifully designed holes. The room was an airy rectangle, with windows on two sides so passers-by could look in and spot their friends; if Lemnus did come in here, maybe he had vaulted out of a window. The cleansing water ran in channels that never flooded. The sponges on sticks were plentiful. A slave mopped up drips and splashes. What's more, he wore a neat tunic and was discreet about expecting tips. The conversation among the porters and negotiators was banal, but after a long morning out I had better things to do than chat. Informers normally have to manage without relief. In an empire that prides itself on high class hygiene, bodily retention forms the main challenge for men in my profession. Slugging it out in fights or making your tax declaration creative is a cinch by comparison. I sat lost in thought about the bad aspects of my work, the traditional musings of a man who has entered a lavatory alone. A couple of people left. Two new ones entered. Suddenly I heard my name. Why hello, Falco," This was the other traditional drawback. the idiot who insists he must talk to you. I looked up to see a white haired, elderly fusspot, being very particular about checking that his seat was clean and dry. Caninus. It was natural to run into the sea biscuit at Portus, though of course I felt annoyed. When navy men have the opportunity to enjoy decent facilities on firm ground, instead of being hung out over the stern of a prancing ship in a fierce wind, they tend to take their time. Caninus now looked set in here for days, and I was stuck with him. In latrine etiquette, the others present were now able to relapse into private contemplation, while they pitied me for being spotted. I was forced to be pleasant. Caninus! Hail."
Not your usual drop-in, Falco?" I shook my head. Just passing through." This is an old army joke, but the navy seemed to know it too.
So!" breezed the nautical menace with a meaningful glare. Were you involved in that activity at the Damson Flower this morning, Falco?"
Confidential," I warned, to no avail.
Yes, I thought you must have been. A ransom that went wrong, I hear?"
You must have your narks in all the right places."
Was it connected with that case you mentioned? The missing scribe?"
Diocles is supposedly up for ransom." I saw no harm in the admission, even though the four other men present were now listening intently while pretending not to. I think it was a try-on; nobody has kidnapped him. I just wonder how the speculators knew he had disappeared, and that people were sufficiently anxious about him to respond to a demand for money."
You were asking me about Cilicians," said Caninus. Traditional behaviour. They sit in taverns and brothels, on the look out. Exactly how pirates used to work. picking up news of ships with decent cargoes that they would subsequently follow out of harbour and assail."
Now the bastards stand at bar counters, listening out for recently landed rich men, who have wives or daughters with them," I agreed. As a professional courtesy I lowered my voice. You didn't tell me, last time we met, that you were in port to follow up this racket."
Oh, didn't I?" Caninus was offhand. You never said it impinged on your missing scribe."
I didn't know." We fell silent. The change of pace in our conversation allowed two of the other men to finish off and leave. The remaining two, who presumably knew one another, began a conversation about racehorses. Caninus was being very friendly. By the way, Falco, somebody pointed out a fellow recently who is supposed to be an uncle of yours." I was surprised to find myself known as a character around Portus – or to hear that my family tree provided wharfside gossip. Are you sure you don't mean my father, Didius Geminus? Everyone knows him for a rogue." " The auctioneer?" I was right. Everyone knew Pa, including naval investigators. It was no surprise. Geminus had shaken hands on plenty of dodgy deals. In fact, one of the men talking about horses cast a very quick glance at me then made his escape; maybe he had been involved in one of Pa's murky art purchases. The endless supply of Greek athlete statues that Pa sold off in Pompey's Portico were knocked out for him by a repro marble specialist down in Campania, but he had told me some rhytons and alabastrons which he supplied as cheap old" vases to interior designers came in by sea. According to Pa they were genuinely Greek and almost certainly old, it was the source he preferred not to discuss. No, I'm sure it was your uncle," Caninus persisted.
Fulvius," I conceded. Until last week I hadn't seen him since I was a child… Why the interest?"
I thought you might be working with him."
With Fulviusr
You were seen drinking with him and your father. Geminus came down here to look for Theopompus, didn't he?"
For heavens" sake!" I was amazed and indignant. I had a quiet drink with some relatives at a Forum bar; we only met by chance. Yet it got reported to you, and you decide we are an organised team? One that might tread on your toes, presumably?"
Oh…" Caninus could see it was ridiculous now, and backed off quickly. I was just in discussion with a fellow who thought he might have known your uncle abroad."
I don't even know where he has been," I said bluntly. He is most famous for setting off to Pessinus and getting on the wrong boat. That was years ago. As far as I know, it wasn't a boat to Cilicia." If it sounded as though I was telling Caninus it was none of his damn business, then fine.
Pessinus?" Caninus looked puzzled.
Ancient shrine of the Great Mother," I confirmed. I kept my tone solemn. He wanted to modify himself. Uncle Fulvius takes religion all the way."
I thought it was illegal for a citizen to mutilate his…
Yes, it is."
Or to dress up and dance about in women's robes?"
Yes. Fortunately, Fulvius hates dancing. But as you may know, citizens are allowed to give money to the cult. Uncle Fulvius is so charitable, he could not bear to wait for the annual festival in Rome. He just wanted to contribute to the upkeep of the eunuch priests as quickly as possible." I was inventing freely, unable to take it seriously, but Caninus lapped it up. He sounds intriguing."