“You saved me.”
“You wouldn’t have needed saving if it wasn’t for me.”
“Oh? So if you hadn’t been chosen to bring me to them or find out what information I had, they would have left me alone? No. If it had been anyone but you, I would be dead now.”
Wolf frowned at the table.
“And I don’t believe for a second you were coming back to kill us. No matter how much control that thaumaturge had over you, it was still you in there. You weren’t going to hurt me.”
Wolf met her gaze, sad and bewildered. “I honestly hope we never have to test that theory again. Because you don’t know how close I was.”
“You still fought it.”
His face contorted, but she was glad when he didn’t argue with her. “It shouldn’t have been possible to resist him like that. What they did to us … to our brains … it changed the way we think about things. Anger and violence come so quickly, but other things … it shouldn’t even be possible.” His hand started to move toward hers, but halted halfway. He quickly withdrew, fiddling with the battered tomato label instead.
“Well, what if…” Scarlet listed her head. “You said they control when your animal instincts will overpower your own thoughts, right? But fighting and hunting aren’t the only instincts wolves have. Aren’t wolves … monogamous, for starters?” Her cheeks started to burn and she had to look away, scratching her fork into a set of initials. “And isn’t the alpha male the one who’s responsible for protecting everyone? Not only the pack, but his mate too?” Dropping the fork, she threw her hands into the air. “I’m not saying I think you and I are—after just—I know we just met and that’s … but it’s not out of the question, is it? That your instincts to protect me could be as strong as your instincts to kill?”
She held her breath and dared to look up. Wolf was gaping at her openly and for a second he seemed almost mortified—but then he grinned, the look warm and bewildered. Scarlet caught a glimpse of his sharp canines, her stomach flipping at the sight of them.
“You could be right,” he said. “That makes some sense. On Luna, we’re kept so far removed from the rest of the citizenry that there’s never any chance of falling in…”
Scarlet was glad when he started to blush too.
He scratched his ear. “Maybe that’s it. Maybe Jael’s control worked against him, because my instincts were telling me to protect you.”
Scarlet attempted a nonchalant smile. “There you have it. As long as there’s an alpha female nearby, you should be just fine. That shouldn’t be hard to find, right?”
Wolf’s expression iced over and he looked away. His tone became uneasy again. “I know you must want nothing to do with me. I don’t blame you.” Wolf scrunched up his shoulders, and met her with an expression full of regret. “But you’re the only one, Scarlet. You’ll always be the only one.”
Her pulse fluttered. “Wolf—”
“I know. We met less than a week ago and in that time I’ve done nothing but lie and cheat and betray you. I know. But if you give me a chance … all I want is to protect you. To be near you. For as long as I’m able.”
Biting her lip, she reached forward, pulling his fingers away from the can. She found that the label had been shredded beneath his mindless fidgeting. “Wolf, are you asking me to be … your alpha female?”
He hesitated.
Scarlet couldn’t help it—she burst into laughter. “Oh—I’m sorry. That was mean. I know I shouldn’t tease you about this.” Still grinning, she made to retract her hand, but he was suddenly gripping it, refusing to relinquish the touch. “You just look so scared, like I’m going to disappear at any minute. We’re stuck on a spaceship, Wolf. I’m not going anywhere.”
His lips twitched, his nervousness beginning to ease away, though his hand stayed tense over hers.
“Alpha female,” he murmured. “I sort of like that.”
Beaming, Scarlet gave a mild shrug. “It could grow on me.”
Forty-Seven
Cinder lay on her back, staring up into the guts of the Rampion’s engine. Only her cyborg hand moved, flipping the small, shimmering D-COMM chip up and over her fingers, one by one. She was mesmerized by how the chip’s odd material caught the lights from the motherboard on the wall and reflected them, sending rubies and emeralds twinkling across all the wires and fans and humming power converters. Mesmerized, but without really seeing them. Her thoughts were stretched between thousands of miles.
Earth. The Eastern Commonwealth. New Beijing and Kai, who was now engaged to Queen Levana. Her stomach turned, and she kept recalling the venom in his voice when he’d talked to her about the queen. She tried to imagine what he was going through now. Did he have any other choice? She couldn’t be sure. She wanted to say yes, that anything—war, pestilence, slavery—would be better than choosing Levana as empress, but she didn’t know if it was true. She didn’t know if he’d ever had a choice, or if this decision had always been inevitable.
Her thoughts turned away from Earth, toward Luna. A country she didn’t remember, a home she’d never known. Queen Levana was no doubt celebrating her victory at this moment, giving no thought to all those lives she’d just taken.
Queen Levana. Cinder’s aunt.
The D-COMM chip click, click, clicked against her fingers.
“Cinder? Are you in here?”
Her fingers stilled with the chip balanced on her pinkie knuckle. “Yeah, Iko. I’m here.”
“Maybe next time we’re on Earth you can pick up some sensors? I feel like I’m eavesdropping having the audio on all the time. It’s becoming awkward.”
“Awkward?”
The running lights brightened, reminding Cinder of a blush. She wondered if it was intentional.
“Scarlet and Wolf are saying gushy things in the galley,” Iko said. “Normally I like gushy things, but it’s different when it’s real people. I prefer the net dramas.”
Unexpectedly, Cinder found herself smiling. “I’ll do my best to get some sensors next time we’re on Earth.” She resumed her fiddling. The chip flipped, clacked, flipped, rolled. “How are you feeling, Iko? Are you getting used to being the auto-control system? Is it getting easier?”
Something hummed on the computer panel. “The shock has worn off, but it still feels like I’m pretending to be much more powerful than I really am, and I’m going to let everyone down. It’s a lot of responsibility.” The yellow running lights brightened by the floor. “But I did well in Paris, didn’t I?”
“You were brilliant.”
The temperature of the engine room spiked. “I was kind of brilliant.”
“We’d all be dead if it weren’t for you.”
Iko let off an unusually pitchy noise, one that Cinder thought might be a nervous giggle. “I guess it’s not so bad being the ship. You know, so long as you need me.”
Cinder smirked. “That’s very … big of you.”
One of the engine fans slowed. “That was a joke, wasn’t it?”
Laughing, Cinder practiced spinning the chip like a top on the tip of her finger. It took a few tries before she got the hang of it and could watch it sparkle and dance without much effort.
“How about you?” Iko said after a moment. “How does it feel to be a real princess?”
Cinder flinched. The chip tumbled off her finger and she barely caught it. “So far it’s not nearly as fun as one would imagine. What were you saying about having too much power and responsibility and feeling like you’re going to let everyone down? Because that all sounded pretty familiar.”