Collins was summoned into the room; she sat down in a vacant chair at the far end of the table.
DCS Higgins shuffled a sheaf of papers in his hands, cleared his throat and began.
‘It has not been an easy decision but we have decided that it is in the best interests of everyone working in the division at the moment if you are suspended on full pay for the period of our internal investigation.’
‘You’ve got to be kidding me,’ gasped Collins. ‘I haven’t done anything wrong.’
‘And if that is the case then you know you’ll be welcomed back into your job with open arms. But, until then, it’s best if you keep as low a profile as possible. And, to put it quite simply, it’s going to be far easier for you to do that when you’re at home than when you’re in the office.’
Collins looked around at the long faces in the room around her. ‘And that’s what you’ve decided. You’ve kept me waiting out there for all this time to tell me this.’
‘That’s the decision of the disciplinary board, yes.’
Collins rose. Her face did not betray a hint of emotion and she walked out of the room and closed the door behind her.
Twenty minutes later she was parking her BMW outside the house and walking inside with a smile on her face. It had been a difficult few weeks with the decision of the committee hanging over her. It was perfectly possible that they might have suspended her without pay or even ejected her from the force. Instead she had been placed on what was often referred to as ‘gardening leave’. Time on full pay at home. It was like an extended holiday.
There was a definite spring in Stacey’s step as she walked up the front path towards the door. Of all the things that could have happened, this was far from being the worst of them. It would give her proper time to spend with Sophie for the first time in months. It would mean she could be there for her every evening, every morning. She would even be around to pick her up from school and to attend every show, every recital, every performance.
For the next few months at least, Stacey Collins would be a proper mother.
She stepped in through the door and called out Sophie’s name. When there was no reply, she made her way into the kitchen to put the kettle on. It was there that she saw the note, propped up in the middle of the table with her name on it in Sophie’s distinctive handwriting.
She did not need to open it right away. She knew the contents would be painful. Instead of the kettle, she opened the freezer and made herself a vodka and tonic with plenty of ice and fresh lime. She then sat down at the table, opened the letter and began to read.
Dear Mum,
I do love you. It’s important for you to know that. I know you have always tried to do your best for me and worked hard to give me the best possible start in life, but I truly believe that if I am going to be all I can be, that simply isn’t enough.
We may not always agree about everything but I have never resented any decision you have made about my life. Until now. You have known for years how much I have longed to have my father in my life. The cruellest thing you have ever done to me is to deny his existence. The second cruellest was to introduce me to him and then snatch him away just as I was getting to know him.
The events of the past few months have brought my father and me closer than I would have ever thought possible. I know you came to rescue me, but in many ways you were simply doing your job, the same as the other officers who were there. To see my father there too was something different, an expression of true love. It moved me almost to tears.
The heartbreak I felt when that woman first jumped out and injected Dad with that drug, when I thought he was dying from a heart attack, is almost indescribable. Because of your selfish actions I have already lost out on thirteen years of having a father. I have no desire to miss out on any more. The time we now share together is so precious that I want to make the most of it. I will always be your daughter, but I have always been his as well.
For all the above reasons, I am sure it will come as no surprise to you when I say that I have taken all my belongings and that from now on I am going to be living with my dad. Please do not try to fight this. I have looked into the law and, although I am still too young to make my own decisions, the courts will take my views into account. I will make it very clear where I want to be, make no mistake.
You have been a great mum but I know you have always struggled to balance life and work in order to spend the right amount of time with me. I’m hoping this will make things easier. For both of us.
Love
Sophie
x
Stacey Collins was still reading the note when the sound of a key turning in the front door made her spin around. The door flew open and Sophie, her face bright red and wet with tears, stormed in. She glanced briefly at her mother before stomping her way to her bedroom, slamming her door shut behind her.
It had all happened in an instant, leaving no time for Stacey to say a single word. She remained speechless as the tall, lean figure of Jack Stanley entered the hallway, looked over at her and smiled warmly.
It took only another second for Stacey to compose herself. ‘What the hell have you done to her?’ she demanded, a host of worst-case scenarios running through her mind. ‘What the hell have you done to my daughter?’
Jack raised both his hands, palms outward, a gesture of peace. ‘I brought her home. That’s all I’ve done. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t what I wanted. Honestly, I had no idea what she had in mind when she came round. None of this was my idea.’
Stacey collapsed on the carpet, tears streaming down her face. She had never felt more distant from her daughter, from all the people in her life that really mattered.
Jack walked over and placed a hand on her shoulder. She shrugged it off with a grunt. ‘Get out of here.’
‘No.’
Stacey looked up, her eyes burning with rage. ‘Get out of here,’ she said again.
‘I can’t,’ said Jack. ‘I’m her father, but you’re the one who brought her up. I want to be a part of her life, but I don’t want to take over. I think we need to sit down, all three of us, and work out a way to go forward.’
Stacey placed her head in her hands. She felt exhausted. She didn’t know how much more she could take. ‘Maybe.’
‘Besides,’ continued Jack, ‘Jesus Christ, my phone bill’s gone through the fucking roof since she started coming round. At first I thought it was me she was there for but that only lasted a couple of days. Now she doesn’t talk to me, just to her mates. I feel like I have to send her a text to make an appointment.
‘I mean, I want to be a good dad, I want her to have her freedom, but I don’t want her to take the piss. Trouble is, I don’t know if she is or not. I don’t know any of her friends, I don’t know any of her teachers or anything. I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t even know how long something like this is going to last. I’m totally in the dark. I can’t do this on my own. I don’t think you can either. We need to do this together.’
Stacey looked down at the floor and smiled. She wiped away her tears, then slowly rose to her feet.
‘Welcome to parenthood. She’ll calm down in about ten minutes. I’ll put the kettle on.’