Exhaustion swept her into its strong arms. Her pounding head grew heavy, and she leaned it on her knees.
“It’s getting late, Benic.” Kele spoke softly and ran her hand over Susan’s back, sending a warm, comfortable feeling over her spine. It was the closest thing to safe she’d felt since arriving on Eorthe. “We’ve had a harrowing day. I want to wash and rest. I think Susan is ready to go straight to bed, though.”
Yes. Yes, she was.
Dazed, she watched Benic make his farewells to Kele. His hands lingered on the young shifter’s arms a fraction longer than a friend’s should, and the way he gazed at Kele with a soft expression made his interest apparent. Yet Kele didn’t seem aware of his extra attention.
She pushed the broken door closed, wedging it into the doorway. “That will have to do until the crafters can fix it.” She sauntered back to the pallet. “You can stay here tonight. Then we’ll find you a place among the omegas tomorrow.”
“Omegas?”
She pursed her lips as if thinking hard. “Do you humans live in packs?”
“We live as families. I don’t know if you’d consider that a pack.”
“Vampires live in families, or clans, as well. Packs are different. There’s a lot of…” She made a twisting motion with her fists. “Struggle. We live close to nature, and our animal instincts are very strong.” She blew out a breath. “This isn’t easy to explain. It’s like describing how to breathe to a fish.”
“I don’t have the right tools to sense what you’re explaining. Yeah, I got that impression when your mother WWE’d me into the floor when I tried to shake her hand. Pack life seems violent. Start explaining with the omegas.” Especially if she was to live among them.
“There’s a hierarchy in packs. Alphas are the top. The strongest, fastest, sometimes the smartest. They lead. My parents are the alphas of this pack.”
Susan nodded. How could she forget?
“Then there are hunters, like Ahote and my other guards today. They protect and feed the pack. This makes them very valuable to us, so in return we give them deference. First choice of mates and living space, the best clothes—”
“You said I wasn’t being given to Ahote.” Dread seeped into Susan’s soul and she clenched her fists.
“Not against your will. But most females would fight to have his attention. He’s a top hunter and can provide a good life.”
“Then why doesn’t he have a mate?”
“He hasn’t chosen one yet. He’s…biding his time.”
Translation: He’s fucking his way around the pack before picking. Susan rolled her eyes. “I’m not interested in males like him. I’d have a hard time deferring to him.”
“That might make him want you more.” Kele laughed. “But in his defense, I will admit to telling him to mark you. It will keep most of the males at bay until you understand our ways.”
“Your mother didn’t give me the impression she wanted me to stay. What should I do about that?” She’d been reduced to depending on a pack of shifters who didn’t want her. Even to her human sense, that didn’t seem to bode well for her. How long could she ward off unwanted male interest before she caved in to her need for security? “What if I went with Benic? Would living with vampires be worse?”
Kele blinked. “I don’t know. I’ve never been to the castle.”
Susan eyebrow rose at the statement. Castle trumped cave in her books. “He seems to like you.”
“He’s been the lord of this forest for as long as anyone can remember. From what we’ve heard of other packs, Benic is very tolerant of our ways in comparison to other vampire lords.”
Susan remembered the familiar way Kele spoke with him. “You don’t treat him like a lord.”
The pretty shifter shook her head. “No, he always treated me special as I grew up. Most of the others wouldn’t play with me since I couldn’t shift, and they were warned from hurting me. Benic used to waste hours playing games and telling me stories when he visited. He’d make a wonderful father.”
Susan’s stomach tightened into a smaller ball, and she was happy they’d missed dinner. From what she’d witnessed, Benic wasn’t looking at Kele with a father’s gaze. Not anymore. “Anyway, you were telling me about omegas?”
“Yes, under the hunters are crafters, builders and traders. They make our lives comfortable. These shifters are less dominant. Their interests lay outside the desire for power and more for quality of life. Then there are the omegas, the most submissive of the pack. They rank low and some, like my mother, consider them useless. But these are our artists, our caretakers, teachers and easy lovers. They’re very essential to pack life. Nothing is more soothing than to be taken care of by an omega.”
Heartburn crept up Susan’s chest. “So they’re the lowest position of the pack?” She so wouldn’t fit there.
“No, the strays are.” Kele wouldn’t meet her gaze. Her mother had called Susan a stray when they’d been in the pack gathering room.
“Shit.” Susan plopped back on the pallet and stared at the dark ceiling. Light from the candles flickered, trying to keep the night from swallowing her whole. Maybe it would be best if she blew the flames out and let the darkness consume her.
“This is why I ask you to keep Ahote’s mark for as long as you can. Maybe you can convince him to mark you again?”
Shifting her position, Susan tried to relieve the tension growing in her neck. “How do I climb your society’s ladder?”
“Dominance, skill and strength. If you want something you have to be willing to fight for it. The more you lose, the less respect you will receive from others, and the worse you will be treated.”
“Where do you fit in all this?”
Susan saw her spine stiffen.
“I’m not sure.” Kele remained quiet for a few moments as if trying to decide how to explain. “I can’t shift. That’s not something anyone would respect or fear, but my parents are the alphas. Only their presence and love defend me. If they were to withdraw it or pass away, I’d be in a dire situation.”
“Like me.” Susan rolled on her side and faced the wall, turning her back to Kele, unable to bear the pity in the shifter’s gaze anymore. This sucked monkey balls with extra tartar sauce.
“Your situation is unique, Susan.” She sighed. “We’ll speak with Benic in the morning and see if he can offer you something better.” Susan sensed Kele rise off the pallet. “I’m going to wash. Will you come?”
The caked-on layer of dust and dirt clung to Susan’s skin. She really ought to wash. “Can I in the morning? I’m exhausted and want to sleep. Hopefully things will seem better after some rest.”
“Very well. I won’t be long.” The sound of the broken door sliding open and closed followed shortly.
Susan buried her face in the pallet and screamed. She punched the bed and took another lungful of air before screaming into the mattress once more. When her throat burned and her lungs ached, she stopped and rolled onto her back.
Oh god, oh god, oh god. What the fuck? She kicked her heels.
She could remain here and be considered a stray with a high chance of receiving some sort of abuse in her near future. She could convince the vampire to take her back to his castle and most probably become dinner. Or…what? What were her other options?
She could find her way back to the Temple and seek the gateway, make a new machine out of sticks and mud, powered by desperation.
No amount of searching would find the portal home. Without DOUG to maintain the gateway, the opening had collapsed. The ceiling wavered through the sheen of tears she blinked away. If she’d learned one thing today, it was not to show fear or weakness. She doubted shifters ever cried. Clasping her hands, she stared at nothing in particular.