When
In my last
Emotional
Energy crisis
I was a
Burning symbol
Happy and free
24
Schultz rubbing his eyes walking along a lamplit Charing Cross Road. Past the closed shops of this desolate deserted street. A chill rainy mist falling. Released from jail, and now getting wet. And in six bloody hours I’ve got to be in Court. When I should be planning every last ditch emergency strategy for the show.
Schultz sending a shrieking whistle out between his lips. A taxi stopping two blocks away, turning and coming back. Thank god. At least I can still pipe out a long distance signal for a cab.
“Welcome aboard Gov, where to.”
Schultz alighting at number four Arabesque. Tiptoeing silently in. So far she hasn’t changed the locks on the door and stationed a policeman on the stoop to protect her life. But christ one can’t avoid bitterness after what that bitch has done. Holy jeeze where the fuck will she or her mother be sleeping. And that outsize walrus busting springs in some bed.
Schultz up the first flight of stairs. And up the next. Pressing the light switch. Fucking lights still out. Go into this bedroom at the top back of the house. For peace and quiet. What a night. My head is swimming. About six hours sleep in the last two days.
Schultz wearily taking off his jacket in the dark. Holy shit sounds like there’s a cat loose or something in here. I’m getting jumpy. Like Al nearly went out of his skin when he thought I knew his girl friend. A sweet fucking charmer that she is. I should have rung her. But for my unending adversity I would have done. And met her before that greying geriatric strips a gear on his organs trying to fuck her.
Schultz undoing his shirt, stopping listening again. I heard something, Jesus christ, fucking well move. Dear god I beg you, don’t after what you’ve already done to me make me be in the bedroom of the behemoth. Holy jeeze. There really is something fucking well in here breathing.
Schultz with shoelaces untied, trousers dropped to his ankles. Touching and feeling around him. Shit now if I move I’ll fall over. Or a skeleton will drop out behind me like it did with me getting drenched pissing all over myself in his Lordship’s castle. Christ I haven’t even yet recovered from that heart stopping shock. And Jesus I really do feel like I’m going to shit. My nerves are shattered. I’m just not going to last the course. Escape back to America. The land of the free. The home of the brave. Uncle Werb. Here I am. I want to go into the diamond business. Ah Sigmund what a good boy. Welcome to the reality of practical sense. Here, two million dollars worth of stones, take them over to Izzy my old pal on the top floor. They’re his for three million. You keep ten per cent of the profit for yourself and like a sensible boy go buy a good raincoat and galoshes, in case next time I have to send you out with diamonds to bring to Amsterdam when it’s raining. Holy jeeze. I’d do it. I’d really do it. I’d sell diamonds stark naked in the snow. Even for five per cent commission. And I could be fucking Dutch girls like Greta all over Holland.
Schultz touching his way across the room. Where’s the fucking bed I remember was right here. No Jesus, this is the wardrobe. Ah, my knees are touching the mattress. At last I’m going to be warm. Blankets on the bed.
“Holy shit.”
Schultz jumping backwards. A rustle of bedclothes. A gasping intake of breath. A female voice.
“Who’s that.”
“Jesus christ who the fuck is this.”
“Who are you.”
“I live here. Who are you.”
“Get out of here.”
Like fucking hell I will.”
“I’ll scream.”
“Holy shit, is it you Agnes.”
“Who are you.”
“It’s me Sigmund.”
“Get out of here Mr. Schultz. What are you doing here.”
“I was trying to go to bed.”
“Not with me you’re not.”
“No. I know. I’m sorry. I just got home. I didn’t know anybody was here.”
“Well now you know. And I hope you’ll go. Right away.”
“Jesus hold it will you. My clothes are everywhere.”
“Go this second. Someone could hear you. And I hope you could explain then what you were doing.”
“I’m going to fucking bed in my own house that’s what I’m doing. How the hell was I to know you’re here sleeping.”
“Well I am. Pricilla said I could.”
“O.K. honey, O.K. don’t panic. Give me a second will you to figure this out. Where I’m going to go and sleep. I only just got out of jail. I’m cold, tired and hungry.”
“And if you don’t mind my saying, you also appear to be without any clothes.”
“O hey gee I’m sorry. Boy what eyesight you got to be able to see in the dark. Momma meeo, a fond du mots by goom de bots.”
“What are you saying.”
“Nothing, it’s just an expression I used as a kid when every god damn thing was going wrong. Holy fuck, pardon my French but I’m dropping everything I can’t find.”
“How can you drop it if you can’t find it.”
“Honey you’d be surprised what I can do.”
“Yes, punching Pricilla.”
“Hey why the fuck does everybody see everything from her side.”
“Because she’s a lovely person.”
“Wow. You women stick together.”
“Of course we do if a man behaves like a beast.”
“Jesus honey, one sock and shoe is missing I got to find to get out of here. Which believe me I want to do in the quickest possible hurry.”
“I thought the show was lovely.”
“You did.”
“Yes. I did. Magillacurdy I thought was magnificent. Such incredible animal magnetism. A lady sitting next to me was jumping out of her seat in delirium over him.”
“You don’t know how much you’re doing my crushed soul a lot of good with those words honey.”
“Well I honestly did love the whole production.”
“That’s the most pleasantly hopeful thing I’ve heard, no kidding, all night. Even though I haven’t had hardly a second to talk to anybody. This is nearly the first moment I’m suddenly come to rest after spinning like a top for weeks.”
“I imagine it must be such an awful lot of work to put a whole production together like that. Finding and choosing all the people. I really admire you for it.”
“Honey if by any chance that great eyesight of yours can see my face in this obscurity you’ll see I’m smiling a beatific smile.”
“Are you.”
“Yes I am.”
“You’re rather a funny person, aren’t you. So much more introspective and serious than when one just meets you superficially.”
“Agnes honey, you’re a girl of impressive sensibilities.”
“I’m just an ordinary girl. All I’ve done is just ride horses all my life.”
“Honey I’m a little cold.”
“O.”
“And I’m a little tired.”
“O.”
“And I’ve got to be in Court in six hours. Jesus would it be asking too much just to chat and get warmed up in bed for a while.”
“Pricilla’s my best and oldest friend.”
“I know that honey, I know that.”
“We grew up together. Her father’s ranch was beside my father’s ranch before they lost all their money and moved to New York.”
“I know that honey, I know that.”
“And she’s right downstairs and her mother’s right downstairs.”