All of this, I tried to offer to him through my hands, from my body into his. It was a prayer in physical form.
Nothing. No response.
Blinking away tears, I involved my whole body, sending positive vibes through my hands, my heart, my eyes. Would any of it penetrate?
I was blowing on cold ashes, hoping for a fire.
But then his fingers moved underneath mine. The faintest groan escaped his torn, parted lips. Encouraged, I continued, imagining my aura as a rolling ball of energy washing over him, into him. I scanned his body for any sign of the shimmer that had first drawn me to him that day at the airport, but he was still snuffed out. I pressed his hand to my heart.
“Take it in,” I whispered. “Come back to me. C’mon, G.”
Then a small sliver of sparkling light caught my eye where Gráinne had said she felt it above his abdomen. It pulsed and grew, spreading like liquid mercury over his body. It swirled over his heart and simultaneously out toward his arms and legs. He gasped and drew in a deep, quivering breath, and his eyes flashed open.
I smiled. Joy burst out of me. He was alive! I bent and hugged him, but before I knew what was happening, his hands wound around my wrists and he flipped me over, pinning me underneath him on the bed.
I looked up into his eyes, the swirling, glassy ocean of them. He looked confused, not all there yet. His aura shone above his shoulders again, but I couldn’t see it over his head. He pressed his body against mine, and I was shocked to feel his arousal. His body was completely, intensely alive, although it seemed his mind wasn’t. I was about to say something, try to call him out of his stupor, when he blocked my words with a fierce kiss.
His warm mouth melted over mine. The sensation of touching my tongue to his was like licking the tip of a battery. A metallic zing of energy traveled from my mouth throughout my body. Every point of contact from my toes to my lips burned with electricity. My hands were still captured above my ears, but our fingers had interlocked. Our palms pounded with our firing pulses. We were two streams of lava, fusing together.
I kissed him back, responding. Like taking something back, reclaiming my own spark. But then I realized his was a false desire, an aura spell I had cast, that just like Finn, his want of me wasn’t real but feeding off something else. And my want of him was salve on my wounded heart.
I managed to break the kiss and speak. “G—Giovanni, are you okay?”
His unfocused eyes rested on my mouth like he was trying to translate the sounds I’d made. The blood on his lip was bright and new again. I could taste it. Ever so slowly, his eyes ventured up to meet mine. There was recognition there, but confusion as well.
“Sleep now,” I commanded. I sounded much more in control than I felt. I was stirred but invigorated, which seemed strange considering how much energy I had given him. His grip on my hands released as he rolled off me, burying his face into my pillow. His eyes closed, his breathing slowed, his silver aura fired to life like a match around his entire body.
I lay on the bed, staring at the canopy overhead. My chugging heart lost momentum one pounding beat at a time. I closed my eyes, lulled to sleep by the sound of Giovanni’s breathing next to me. So glad he was alive. I didn’t have any power in my situation, but I’d had the power to save him.
A strong arm wound over my waist, and my eyes flew open. The room had morphed into the inky blue of twilight. The only light was from the wood-burning stove glowing in the corner.
Giovanni’s hand was tucked beneath my hip. With a commanding tug, he pulled my body against his. He curled around me like warm air, nestling his face into the back of my neck. I should move, I thought, lift his heavy arm from over my body and wiggle away from him. Sleep on the floor, or with Gráinne. But I didn’t want to. I pressed myself for an explanation, and my internal answer, my truth, was I liked the security of his arm over me. I liked being less alone.
Forty-Seven
“Cora.”
A voice reached to me in my dreams, calling me out of them. It made my chest ache. I wanted to cover my ears.
“Cora,” it said again, more insistent this time.
My eyes fluttered open. It was still night. An eye of inky light stared down on me through the skylight. I glanced around. Giovanni still slept against my back. Our hands were laced together, resting against my chest.
I noticed movement in the little sliding opening on the free side of the arched wooden door. I flicked on the lamp next to the bed. Finn’s coppery eyes gaped at me, beautiful. Tortured.
I sat up, letting Giovanni’s arm fall away. Finn and I stared at each other as I rose to my feet.
“You’re sleeping together.” It wasn’t a question. There was hurt and accusation in his eyes.
“Sleeping. Yes,” I answered in a hollow voice. “That’s the first thing you have to say to me?” It killed me to see him again. My heartache and my fury coalesced into a thunderous storm. “Like you have claim? What do you care? I’m locked in here forever because of you! What’d you expect when you people brought him here half-dead and put him in my bed?” I hadn’t realized I was moving toward him until we were face-to-face. I slapped my palms against the door. “How could you do this? How could you be this?”
His fingers clutched the wood around the opening, then flexed as if he were going to try to reach inside and touch my face. But, of course, Finn could reach me, into me, and steal my very breath. I backed quickly away, and he gave me an injured look.
“I can’t help what I am. I hate what I am.”
I fought the pity rising in me at the anguish hollowing his cheeks. He looked awful.
“And I didn’t bring him here,” he added softly with a nod toward Giovanni.
“Right. Like you didn’t bring me here. Clancy told me all about it. What do you want, Finn?” I wanted to rip the door off its freaking hinges, pin him to the wall by his neck, and show him what it felt like to have the life squeezed out of him. I liked this anger in me. I stalked toward him again and wrapped my fingers over his on the wood, ignoring the stab of pain it caused me to touch him. “You want more of me? Hmmm?” I asked in a coquettish voice laced with spite. “Like you didn’t take enough when you almost killed me?”
“Cora, you have to listen to me. I didn’t know what I was doing.” His head dropped. I could only see the top of his dark spiked hair as he looked down at his feet.
“Coward. Look me in the eyes!” I demanded through teary sobs. But when he looked up at me with such anguish, I regretted it. It would be so much easier to hate him if he showed the unapologetic malice that Clancy did. Finn was suffering. Maybe guilt had worn him down. I hoped so. If something ate away at his soul, maybe then he’d know how I felt.
“My parents told me they were Arrazi. They told me I’d likely come into it at any time. It was all so absurd. I was stupid to think it’d pass over me. Cora, I didn’t know what you were. You were just a girl. An amazing girl. I fell in love. But I left California because I became afraid. I worried something was changing inside of me.” His voice had lost its edge. It was soft. Pained. I saw dark rims around his grief-stricken eyes. Even his full lips had lost their ripeness. “I was terrified I’d hurt you.”
“Convince my head, Finn. Because my heart will never believe in you again.”
He took a deep, labored breath. His fingers clutched the little window as if it were a life preserver. “I didn’t know what was happening that night we kissed at your house. I felt so much. Felt so good. It was the most intense sensation I’ve ever had in my goddamn life.”