‘I’ve never been one for screaming,’ he murmured, wistfully.
‘Now when the girls lived at home, we had some ructions then. Dawn’s the quiet one, like me, but Primavera. .’ He smiled. ‘As you’ve learned for yourself, she won’t back down from anyone, never would. I must admit that when I heard Prim’s plans for the wedding, then listened to Elanore, I thought we were in for warfare. Then, when I heard that you were coming up to make the arrangements, not her, well to be frank Oz, I thought you were being lined up as a human sacrif ice.
‘Yet here you are, having had your own way, and still with the regulation number of arms and legs, and still able to hear. How the hell did you manage it?’
‘I haven’t had my own way, David,’ I corrected him. ‘I’ve had ours. Prim and I have a simple rule; if we don’t agree on something, we don’t do it. When we have decided on something together, nothing will shift us. As far as our wedding’s concerned, the way it’s going to be is the way we both want it. Essentially, that’s what I told Elanore. I hope I didn’t upset her.’
‘Upset her? You impressed her, my lad. I must say, I like that principle of yours; do only what both of you want.’ He scratched his chin, ‘Too late for me, though. Too old to change.’
I looked sideways at him as we walked. ‘You don’t fool me for a second, you know,’ I told him. ‘Whatever accommodation you and Elanore have, you’re as happy as Larry with it. I’ve never heard her propose anything that you didn’t give the nod to. But have you ever thought that she only suggests things she knows you’ll approve of? When was the last time you let her do something you really didn’t fancy?
‘The pair of you are just like Prim and me in effect. You just go about it in a different way, that’s all.’
David gave a gruff chuckle, then lapsed back into thoughtful mode. We walked on through the centre of the town, until we reached the outskirts on the other side, and turned to retrace our steps. Auchterarder is on a main tourist drag, so there was plenty of bustle around its centre, people moving from shop to shop, buying everything from scarves to short-bread.
‘You know there is one thing I’d like to be able to do more, Oz,’ my future father-in-law said as he side-stepped a massive, cashmere-wrapped American matron.
‘What’s that?’
‘I have a secret passion,’ he said. Whatever it was, I thought, it was a well-kept secret. ‘For draught Guinness.’ Yes, very well-kept indeed.
‘The trouble is,’ he went on, ‘I can’t indulge very often. We’re Churchy folk, Elanore and I, and if I was seen plodding down to the local every night tongues would wag. Anyway, I don’t like going into pubs on my own; never have.’
I took the hint. ‘Fancy a pint,’ I asked.
‘Thought you’d never ask, my boy.’
We crossed the street to a stone-built hotel with a public bar, and stepped inside. The place was surprisingly busy for the time of day, so I had to ease myself into the small counter. The barman looked up, but not at me. ‘Yes, gents.’
‘This bloke’s first,’ said a voice behind me.
I thanked him, without turning round. ‘Pint of Guinness and a pint of lager,’ I ordered.
The man poured the Guinness first and left it on the crowded bar to settle. As he was pouring the lager, I turned and called to David, who had found a small table. ‘Crisps, nuts?’
‘God no,’ he answered. ‘We’ll be expected to eat when we get back.’
I paid for the drinks and carried them across. ‘Cheers,’ said Prim’s Dad, eyeing Ireland’s national drink with anticipation. He picked it up and took a gulp. ‘Mmm, bitter. But the first one usually is. The next three or four are usually fine.’
‘Hold on there. I’ve got to drive home tonight.’
‘Don’t worry. I’m not much of a soak. One more after this and we’re off; the walk back and a couple of Elanore’s scones should see you all right to drive.’
‘I’ll maybe wait for an hour after that,’ I said.
‘Whatever.’ He drained his glass. I had only shifted a couple of inches of mine. He stood up. ‘Same again.’
‘Make mine a half-pint, please, David. I’m not in your class.’
He smiled. ‘Sorry. I’ve been looking forward to this since we left the house, that’s all.’
‘I can see that, all right.’
We polished off the second round at a more reasonable pace, and left it at that. As we walked back, David was silent at first but as we drew closer to Semple House, he broke out into a fit of coughing. ‘Fuck!’ he said, as he struggled to suppress it. I’d never heard him swear before, so I looked at him in surprise.
‘You and Miles,’ he said suddenly, as we turned into his driveway. ‘You think I’m a dry old stick, don’t you. Old David, as dull as the wood he carves. That’s it, isn’t it.’
His outburst took me well aback. ‘No,’ I protested. ‘That’s not true at all. We respect you, both of us, and as for your work, your carving, you’ve got the rare gift of taking dead wood and giving it a richer, more colourful life than it ever had before. There’s nothing dull about that, mate. I wish I was as creative as you.’
‘Don’t fucking patronise me, son,’ he growled. ‘I know what you think.’
He had me annoyed now. ‘No one’s being fucking patronising here, expect you, maybe. You’re a talented guy and you know it.’
He shook his head. ‘No, dull old David, that’s me. David, never Dave, always David. Do you know?’ he shouted, suddenly. ‘No one’s ever called me Dave in my whole fucking life! I’ve always wanted to be a Dave!’
There were tears in his eyes as he fumbled for his Yale key. Out of the blue, he looked stooped, old and sad.
As he groped in the pocket of his jacket the big door swung open. ‘What’s all the noise about, David?’ boomed Elanore. ‘I could hear you in the kitchen.’
‘Dave!’ he shouted. ‘That’s fucking Dave to you!’
She frowned at me like a good-sized thunderstorm. ‘Is he drunk?’
‘No I’m fucking not,’ he bellowed. ‘This is the new Dave. I’m goin’ to be like these lads — an intellectual. You know what I mean; shaggin’ actresses and all that stuff!’
She took him by the elbow and drew him into the house. He struggled, but he seemed to have no strength to resist her as she frogmarched him into the sitting room and pushed him down into his armchair.
‘Oz, coffee!’ she ordered.
‘Listen, Elanore, he’s only had a couple of pints.’
‘I can smell them!’
‘I’ve got it,’ David shouted. His voice sounded triumphant. ‘I’m going to carve myself. No more toy soldiers, no more fucking chess men. From now on everything I do’s going to be Dave: Super Dave, Action Dave. How about that, Oz?
‘And fuckin’ dragons. S’all right dear, not you; I mean real fucking dragons. Well not real, but lifelike. Got to be money in fucking dragons.’
‘It’d be a terrific circus act,’ I retorted, trying somehow, to humour him. ‘But how will you get them to stay still while you fuck them?’ Beside me, Elanore snorted.
‘Wrestlers!’ he bellowed, I could carve your. .’ In mid-sentence he started to cough again, until it turned into a choking fit. ‘Water,’ he gasped suddenly. ‘Throat’s dry.’ I grabbed his shoulders and looked at him, his eyes were wide, the pupils dilated and fixed.
‘Elanore,’ I said quietly, glancing over my shoulder. I could have shouted, like David; he was in a world of his own. ‘He isn’t drunk. He’s ill. I don’t know what it is, a stroke, possibly. Whatever it is, you’d better call a doctor, quick.’
Chapter 34
‘One of us has got to say it, so it might as well be me.’ I looked grimly at Prim. ‘We’ve got to stop meeting like this.’
She shuddered. ‘Don’t I know it; two hospitals in as many days. How’s Dad?’
‘Talking to the fairies, last time I saw him. He’s not going to die, don’t fear that, but the doctor is still trying to work out what’s wrong with him.’
‘What did happen?’ she demanded. I had phoned her as soon as the family GP, Dr Cusman, had called for an ambulance to take David to Perth Royal Infirmary, but all I had told her was that her father had been taken ill. I don’t know what the Glasgow to Perth speed record is, but I was willing to bet that the Z3’s engine was sighing with relief out there in the car park, now that the journey was over.