“Well, isn’t it?”
I suddenly felt disconnected, like a wall had sprung up around my emotions.
I gathered my drawings and closed them in my sketchbook. I looked at Christy but couldn’t think of a single thing to say that wasn’t spiteful. I stared at her for a moment. Then I turned and left.
“Wow,” Wren said to her, “you really don’t understand him at all.”
I spent the next day brooding, and I avoided the house when I knew Christy would be there.
Screw her, I thought viciously. If that’s what she thinks about me…
I was so full of pent-up frustration that I challenged Glen at judo practice.
He was bigger, stronger, and a better fighter, but he couldn’t compete with cold fury. He knew I was upset, but he never said a thing, even when I slammed him a lot harder than I should’ve, especially in a friendly match.
I left before the sensei could kick me out. I heard Glen talking to them as I stormed off, telling them that he was fine, that I just needed to work some things out. I felt guilty, especially as the adrenaline wore off and I thought about what I’d done.
I went home, but only because I knew that the girls would be at the pool and Trip would be at football practice. I took a long shower and let the cold water run over me until I felt the anger wash away. Why did I let Christy get to me like that?
The phone rang as I was sitting on my bed.
“Hello?”
“Paul? Hey, it’s Mark!”
I drew a blank. “Mark who?”
“Leah’s Mark, ya doofus. I’ve been trying to reach you for days!” He laughed. “Doesn’t anyone answer the phone there?”
“Sorry. We don’t have an answering machine.”
“Hey, no problem. I understand. So let me get to the reason I called. I wanna have a small party for Leah’s birthday.”
I felt a fresh wave of guilt, but for a completely different reason: I’d forgotten.
“I know it’s last-minute,” he said, “but she’s feeling kind of ignored.”
“Ignored?”
“Yeah. Everyone’s getting ready for Kara’s wedding next week. They still…”
I wanted to kick myself. I’d forgotten about the wedding too, and I’d known for a month. Kara had even asked me to be an usher.
“…so things’re a bit crazy over there,” Mark was saying when I tuned back in. “No one’s said a thing about Leah’s birthday. Anyway, I’m hoping you and Trip and Wren can come to Atlanta this weekend.”
“Trip and Wren can’t,” I said immediately. “They’ll be in Savannah.”
“Oh. Can they do it another time?”
“No. Wren’s cousin is getting married. It’s… um… a bit of an emergency, if you know what I mean.”
He laughed. “Shotgun wedding?”
“Not entirely. They were planning to get married anyway. They had to change the date is all.”
“Ah. Gotcha. So that leaves you. Are you going too?”
“I wasn’t invited.”
“Great! I mean… well, you know. Sorry. But now you can come to Atlanta.”
My first instinct was to decline, even though it was Leah. I was in a foul mood and didn’t want to be around people, much less people I actually liked.
Mark heard the hesitation in my silence. “Leah would love to see you.”
“I know, but—”
“Look, man,” he said reasonably, “come to Atlanta. Have fun with us.”
“I’m afraid I’ll ruin things for Leah.”
“Not possible. Come on down.”
“I really appreciate it, Mark, but I’m lousy company right now.”
“What’s the matter? Never mind. This is exactly what you need.”
I sighed.
“Listen, man, get away from whatever’s bothering you.”
“I don’t think that’ll work,” I said. The problem wasn’t Christy; it was me.
“All right,” Mark said, still reasonable, “then if you won’t do it for yourself, do it for Leah.”
“C’mon, Mark, that isn’t fair.”
“Of course not.”
“You aren’t going to stop until I say yes, are you?”
“Nope. Sorry.”
“And if I’m still in a foul mood this weekend?”
“Then we gave it our best shot.”
I let the silence drag out.
“Look,” he said at last, quieter and less like a sales pitch, “I don’t know what you’re upset about, but nothing’s ever as bad as it seems.”
“Easy for you to say.”
“Yeah, but I know how it is, man.” He waited and then went on, “Come to Atlanta. It’s a small party, just the four of us.”
“I dunno, Mark.”
“Leah would love to see you. So would I. Even Erin said she misses you.”
“Erin?”
“Your sister?” he teased. “About 5’4”, blonde, kinda looks like you, only prettier.”
I laughed in spite of myself.
“Whaddya say, man. Will you come?”
“Yeah, okay. I’ll be there.”
I wanted to avoid Christy until I left for Atlanta, but living in the same house made it almost impossible. I was working in my studio when she came to find me. I could tell it was her. I’d heard her come up the stairs and hesitate outside my door. I closed my sketchbook and waited for her to knock, which she eventually did.
“Come in.”
“It’s Christy,” she said through the closed door.
“I know.”
“Can I still come in?”
I tried not to smile. I wasn’t an ogre. “Yes.”
“Are you sure?” She opened the door a crack and peeked around it.
“I won’t bite your head off.”
“Serve me right if you did.”
“Yeah, probably.”
She opened the door a bit further.
“So,” I said, as lightly as I could, “is this normal Christy or jump-to-conclusions Christy?”
“Um, normal… I hope.”
I nodded at the other chair. “Sit down?”
“D’you mind? Standing makes me feel like I’m in the Principal’s office.”
“You only go to the Principal’s office if you’ve done something wrong.”
She stopped halfway into the seat. “Maybe I’d better stand.”
“Sit down,” I said with a laugh.
“Thanks.”
I waited.
She fidgeted.
I looked at her expectantly.
She fidgeted some more.
I settled in for a long silence.
“I never know how to apologize…,” she said eventually.
“Maybe you should stop doing things you need to apologize for.”
She laughed, dark and humorless. “You sound like Nobu.”
I thought I sounded like Susan, which made me smile inside.
“I’m… sorry.” She took a deep breath and mustered the courage to look me in the eye. “I’m sorry I accused you of… you know.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“You’re going to make me say it?”
“I’m not sure what you accused me of,” I said after a moment. “I mean, I know what you meant, but… what kind of person do you think I am?”
“A forgiving one?” she said hopefully.
“I am, but you need to understand something about me.” I tried to find a delicate way to put it. “I’m a guy, sure. And sometimes I think with the little head. But most of the time I use the big one.”
“I know.”
“In other words, I don’t think about sex all the time.”
“But I thought all guys…”
“We don’t. Then again, I’m not like all guys.”
“Tell me about it.” She digested that for a moment and then asked the question she’d been building up to. “Why did you draw me?”
“Not because I want to seduce you or anything. I did it ’cause…” I searched for the right word. “Well, because you inspired me.”
She blushed and looked at her hands. “It’s very flattering.”
“I didn’t do it to flatter you or anything like that.”
“I understand. Besides, if you had— I mean… Um…”
“No, what were you going to say?”
“Promise you won’t get upset?”
“Cross my heart.”
“Well… they weren’t very good.” My eyes must have bugged, because she hurriedly continued, “The sketches, I mean. Of me. The building was great! But the drawings of me…”