“Oh, Eliza,” I said, ‘you did all that for me. “
“Yes. It was for you. It seems I get funny about people. I was about Ethel. I just had to look after her because she couldn’t look after herself. Nor, I thought, could you. I had told Ethel she could earn more money my way … and look what happened. She got that baby and it died. Poor Ethel, she was well nigh frantic. I just had to look after her because she didn’t know nothing about life and the wickedness of men. Then she found that Tom. He seemed all right and she’s happy now. And then there was you. I took to you that night in the storm. I could see there was something special about you. You made me feel different about things … about people. Then there was that Dr. Fenwick and he was a rare good man. But you had set your eyes on him”
“And so,” said Damien, ‘you decided to remove me and make the way clear. “
“I thought she’d come to see it in time. She’d see which side her bread was buttered. Once you’d gone, she’d get over it …”
“It is all very logical,” he said.
“Now I’ve told you. It’s a load off my mind. What are you going to do about it? You’ll give me up, I reckon. He will… anyway. I’m finished. Well, it wasn’t much of a life. Funny … the best part was that awful hospital in Scutari, working with Ethel and you, and seeing Dr. Fenwick and feeling there was some good in the world after all.”
“Oh, Eliza,” I said, and I went to her and put my arms round her.
“Well, that’s me,” she said.
“I’m a murderess, ain’t I? Or as good as makes no difference. I tried and I failed, but I might have done it.”
“I understand, Eliza. I know how you suffered. Your step father ... and all those men . the humiliation, the degradation. I understand it all. And the doctor is well. He is recovering fast. Oh, Eliza, I’ll do everything I can to help. “
“I know … I know … even though if I had done it would have been all over for you. But it ain’t for you to say, is it? It’s him. He’s the one I tried to kill.”
Damien was watching her intently.
“Why didn’t you finish me off when you were looking after me? That wouldn’t have been so difficult, would it?”
“But I knew then … Perhaps I knew as soon as I’d fired that shot.
And when I saw her . later on . and all that misery in her face I just wanted to go away and die. I would have done anything to go back to that morning and not have taken that gun, and just let things go on the way they was drifting. Then I did everything I could to put things right. I was going to do all I could to nurse you back to health. “
“You did nurse me very well. You’re a really good nurse … one of the best. But it wasn’t very logical. To take that shot and then nurse me as you did.”
“I told you … I’d seen then … the way it was with her …”
“You did all that for her,” he said.
“It was a great deal. I’ve just made a decision as to what I’ll do about this.”
We looked at him fearfully. He smiled from one to the other of us tantalizingly.
“I’m going to suggest that Eliza goes to Rosenwald.”
“To Rosenwald … what for?” I stammered.
“To run the place, of course. She’s a strong-minded woman … not afraid to take firm action when she thinks fit. Just the person we are looking for. There, Eliza, you can expiate your sin; and when you have saved your first life you can say: ” Now I have wiped out the deed.
”
“You mean … you are not going to give me up … prosecute or whatever they call it?”
“No. I think this is a better plan.”
“How would you trust me? I was ready to kill you. How do you know I won’t do something like that again?”
“Once is enough for that sort of thing. You’d never try that again.”
“And you would put me in charge of … people?”
“It was my life you were going to take … in your opinion it was worthless … a menace to someone you cared for. It was logical thinking and I am a great upholder of logic.”
“But it was wicked of me to do what I did …”
“Indeed yes. But your motives were not for personal gain. You took such action for someone else. That shows a great capacity for affection. You care very deeply for someone I care for. That shows we have a great deal in common. Your assessment of my character is not entirely at fault. I am a most unworthy person. You have great potential for running a hospital. How fortunate you are that your bullet landed where it did. If you had killed me I should not have been able to offer you Rosenwald.”
“You are treating this … flippantly,” I said.
“Not at all. Eliza gave vent to her feelings. She will never attempt to kill again because she knows now that she cannot condemn completely and no one ever can, because all the circumstances must be known before judgement is passed. She knows now that no one is entirely wicked … even I; no one entirely a saint not even the good Dr. Fenwick. Eliza is wiser than she was. She knows that we all have to go our own way in life and it is not for any of us to arrange that way for others. She will do good at Rosenwald. What a waste of time useless trivia and accusations would be! It is a matter between our selves. I killed a man once. He came to my tent with a knife. I strangled him and buried his body in the sand. It was either him or me. It bothered me for some time; and when I saved a patient’s life I felt the score was even. That is how it will be with Eliza.” He turned to her with a smile.
“I think you should go down and have a look at Rosenwald soon.”
I could see that Eliza was overcome with emotion. She looked as though a great weight had been taken from her shoulders.
She stood up and said: “I don’t know what to say except I’m glad you know.” I didn’t think it would be like this. It’s been a dead weight on me ever since it happened. I didn’t think I could take any more.”
She looked at the lake.
“It seemed peaceful,” she went on.
“I thought one night when it was quiet …”
“Oh, Eliza, I’m glad you told us instead.”
“And him …” she said.
“To offer me this way out.. , well, I dunno … I really dunno how anyone could be like that about someone who’d tried to murder ‘em.”
“Well,” said Damien, ‘it is easier for a sinner to understand people’s little foibles than it is for a saint. And when you understand, you forgive. You’ve got strength, Eliza. You’ve got courage to do what you think is right. You’re capable of loving . wholeheartedly, and believe me, that’s not a very common attribute. You know how to put a loved one’s interests before your own. I admire that. You’ll have Rosenwald outstripping Kaiserwald in no time. “
She looked at me and her smile expressed relief and above all hope.
She was looking into a future which she had believed was lost to her forever.
She nodded towards Damien.
“I never knew anyone like him,” she said.
“No,” I replied.
“Nor did I.”