But what about before that? The summer holiday is almost over and we’ll have to be apart…
Of course we’ll see each other in the winter, too; we’ll arrange it somehow. You can come here, or I’ll go there. We’ll have weekends and holidays, after all. We’ll miss each other, sometimes terribly, but what is there to keep us apart? Nothing. Nothing at all. We’ll stay together, we’ll call each other, write each other letters, and then when we’re of age we’ll thumb our noses at the rest of the world and get married and have dozens of children…
They laugh a lot.
And then there are other times. Sometimes Greta lays her head on Olli’s breast and listens to the pounding of the rain on the roof and Olli strokes her golden hair and dark thoughts overcome her and she starts to talk about them in a low voice, the salty drops of her sadness falling on his skin.
And sometimes she asks Olli to take off his clothes and she caresses him with her mouth and her hands. At first he was too shy. As the summer passed he learnt to enjoy it more and more. What Greta does to him is so sweet, so private, that he can’t even think about it afterwards. The darkness of the room makes it all unreal, like it’s all half a dream.
Greta herself refuses to take off the pear-print dress. She says it’s because her body isn’t the way it’s supposed to be. She sometimes lets Olli touch her naked body under the dress but she guides his hands, and she’s tense the whole while.
Her breasts are small, quite different from Aunt Anna’s, and smaller than Anne’s. Olli likes them.
And he likes the slim lines of her body, the softness of her skin.
One day when Greta is lying on the bed with her eyes shut Olli lifts the hem of her dress and touches her belly, then the skin of her thighs. Her breath quickens. Her hips start to move hungrily. Her tongue licks her lips.
Olli reads these signs as an invitation, and pushes his hand into her underwear.
Then she freezes, jumps to her feet, and slaps him in the face. Don’t ever do that, do you hear me? If you do I’ll kill you.
Her dark fury flares, then disappears.
The familiar, playful spark lights up her eyes again. Then it, too is extinguished by bewilderment.
Hey, you’re bleeding. Did I hit you? I couldn’t have… Was it me? I don’t understand. You know that I’d rather kill myself than hurt you? Olli, my love, please forgive me.
They lie side by side, not speaking, listening to each other’s breath until the light behind the curtains starts to grow dim and the room is quite dark.
A light rain patters on the roof. Then Greta, who is only a voice now, whispers words in Olli’s ear that he still doesn’t completely understand.
I love you more than I love myself. You know, don’t you, that I wouldn’t even exist if not for you? You see darling, I was created just for you to love.
35
AS THE SUMMER CAME TO AN END they enjoyed being in the throes of their fierce longing for each other. It was as if deep down they had already been separated and were groping for each other across time and space.
What did it matter that they had only just met at the end of the previous summer and now they had to part? They had always known each other and they would always know each other. They expressed this in many words and deeds. They made promises.
On the first day of summer they had met as agreed on Touru Bridge, where Greta was waiting for him under the French umbrella. They had become lovers over the winter through letters. It was raining. They took each other’s hands and exchanged a kiss. After that they met every day and hid their relationship from the Blomrooses and everyone else. Before that summer Olli thought that nothing could be better than the adventures of the Tourula Five. Now he knew that it was time to move on. The spell of the secret passages belonged to childhood and he had to let it go as he let go of his childhood. In the end, love was the most exciting thing of all.
Their love wasn’t mutual at first; Olli was confused and afraid. Encountering Greta for the first time in the secret passageway, he was terrified. When he got back above ground he ran away without looking back, although she called after him to stay.
When his father drove him home to Koirakkala he tried not to think about what had happened, because he didn’t understand it. He didn’t want to go back to Tourula ever again. The thought of it made him feel sick.
But a few weeks later he got a letter that changed everything.
Olli, you don’t know me but I know you and I love you. My name is Greta. I’ve been secretly watching you for some time and hoping that you could like me when I was finally ready to show myself to you.
I’m sorry I scared you. That wasn’t my intention.
Do you think you might like us to write to each other? Because I’m quite alone here now. I’m being blamed for Karri leaving, although he did it voluntarily, so that you and I could be together. Before he left he asked me to tell you that even though you weren’t interested in knowing him better and it upset him, he always liked you more than you realized.
Olli, I’m sending a picture of myself with this letter. I hope you like it.
The letter didn’t help him understand any better what had happened. But the girl in the photo was beautiful. After looking at it for about a week, Olli answered the letter, apologized for his earlier behaviour and said that he was pretty lonely in Koirakkala, too, so he understood how she felt.
In her next letter Greta said that she was happy that Olli was willing to share his thoughts with her. Their letters went back and forth between Jyväskylä and Koirakkala every couple of days. In the fourth letter, Greta wrote, I’m so looking forward to next summer, when we’ll see each other again.
Olli answered, Me too.
After he posted the letter he felt faint. The promise had been made. He would be going back to Tourula after all, even though he wasn’t sure what he would find waiting for him there. Greta was one of those things that he couldn’t talk about to anyone, as was the fate of Karri. The whole thing was bizarre and confusing but at the same time somehow simple: sullen Karri was gone and now this sweet girl named Greta had taken his place.
Olli spent days sitting in his room looking at the girl in the photo and trying in vain to understand. Finally he decided that maybe not everything was meant to be understood completely. Some good things in life just have to be accepted as they are without asking too many questions.
Like the secret passages.
And now Greta.
After seeing the Blomrooses for the last time and witnessing how Greta has stopped being ashamed of her existence and defied her cousins and even her mother, Olli runs back to his grandparents’ house.
He tells them he’s going to spend the night at Aunt Anna’s.
“Now you be sure to behave so you leave them with another good memory of this summer,” his grandpa says without looking up from the newspaper. His grandma turns away from the sink and tells him to have a nice visit and to give her regards to Anne, Leo and Riku. She also tells him not to forget to thank Aunt Anna for her hospitality.
Greta doesn’t need to think up a story for anyone. Nobody will notice whether she’s in her room or not.
That evening they meet in the secret room by the river and spend their first whole night together. The girl in the pear-print dress gives Olli pleasure in many different ways. But he still can’t get her to take the dress off.