He looked me dead in the eye. ”Christ, I wish I knew the words to describe him. I mean, I’m not real educated or nothing, and I can’t make you picture him. But you gotta picture him if you wanta know what happened.”
He was getting more animated, maybe out of frustration that he couldn’t find the words, or maybe just from the excitement of thinking about this extraordinary man. I’d met a few men like that. Not many, but a few.
“He was young,” he continued. “Early thirties, I’d guess. A handsome guy, tall, thin, with sunken cheeks, but this special calmness in his eyes. Can you see that in your head?
“Thing is,” he continued, “Akhan never should’ve gone down to Piluca. Sanchez egged him into it, though. I mean, I saw it building when we was puttin’ ’em through training. Everyone just admired Akhan, you know. Christ, you just couldn’t help yourself. And Sanchez? Well, he just couldn’t get anyone to respect him. A bunch of the men in Akhan’s company talked a lot about this Serb, Pajocovic. They had all kinds of stories, so we all knew they really hated him. So Sanchez started goading Akhan about how he probably shouldn’t go after him, even though all his men wanted to, ’cause it might involve a little bloodshed. I mean, he started on Captain Akhan even before we took ’em into Kosovo. He was trying to shame him, you know, ’cause the way this Avenging Angel’s supposed to work is the KLA aren’t supposed to do the tough crap. Being with ’em was like our cover so we could do the hard ones. But I knew Sanchez was jealous of Akhan. I mean, Akhan just had this easy way with men, you know? He was a natural. Sanchez had to work hard at it, and he still didn’t measure up. I think he wanted Akhan to try some hard things, so he would fail. That make sense? I mean, Akhan had the talent, but he wasn’t trained to do it. Sanchez didn’t have the right stuff, but he had the training. You see what was going on there?”
“It makes sense,” I said.
He looked over at Imelda again, and she nodded at him again, her face taut but also proud.
“Anyway, when Perrite and Machusco and Moore came back from Piluca, everything kinda came apart. I don’t think Sanchez wanted that to happen, you know? All of ’em getting killed that way, that was more than he bargained for. It’s what he set in motion, though, wasn’t it? I took him off in the woods and told him about what Perrite and the guys saw, and he started crying. I mean, he bawled like a little kid. The rest of the team didn’t handle it real well, either. If this wasn’t the Army, the men probably would’ve taken Sanchez into the woods and lynched him. It really was a sorry thing he done.”
“Did you tell Sanchez he couldn’t lead the team? Was there an organized effort to keep him from doing his job?”
“No,” he said, appearing very disquieted. “But I didn’t fix it, either. I knew what was happening. I just didn’t want to. Don’t blame the men. They didn’t have nothing to do with it. It was my fault. I just didn’t make ’em follow his orders anymore. And I didn’t make Sanchez keep doin’ his job, neither. I mean, he nearly always needed a kick in the ass anyway, but this time I saw that he lost his guts, and I just let him be. You understand? I didn’t do it. I didn’t want to do it. You wanta charge someone with mutiny, you charge me. I guess I mutinied.”
I said, “When did you decide to ambush Pajocovic’s unit?”
“That morning. Right away, really.”
“Why? Why didn’t you extricate when Colonel Smothers ordered you to?”
He reached into his breast pocket and pulled out the Camels. He looked up at me. “This still all right?”
“Sure.”
He withdrew one and tamped it down, staring at his palm. He lit it and inhaled heavily, allowing the smoke to sit inside his lungs before it filtered slowly out his nose. He spent a long moment chewing on his lower lip. Then he answered.
“That’s why you gotta understand what it feels like to do all these humanitarian missions. It does get personal. They can bring in all these shrinks to tell you not to hold on to it and all that psychobabble, but it gets personal. I mean, we’re soldiers, not doctors, you know? Captain Akhan’s head was on a stake, like some kinda trophy. This guy Pajocovic was a real murderous bastard. He’d killed and tortured hundreds of people. Maybe thousands. However this Kosovo thing ends, he’d of just walked away from it. Look what happened after Bosnia and Rwanda and Haiti. The dead got buried and forgotten, and the murderers went on with their lives.”
“So you decided to execute him?”
He stared at the smoking tip of the cigarette. “Yes, sir, that’s exactly what I decided to do. I don’t regret it, either. The men just did what they were told to do, so don’t charge them. I was giving the orders. They were only following ’em, just like the book says they’re supposed to. They didn’t do nothing wrong.”
I said, “Somebody did, though, Chief. Somebody went through and shot the Serbs in the head. Can you tell us who did that?”
He still stared at the tip of the cigarette. He did not even blink. “Yeah,” he said. “I did it.”
I felt something stick in the back of my throat, and I had to take a moment to swallow and catch my breath. These were the last words I expected or wanted to hear.
I finally asked, “How, Chief? How did you do it?”
“Easy, really. Most of the Serbs were dead or wounded from the ambush. I gotta tell you, Major, as ambushes go, it was a pretty good one. Real lethal, real quick. I waited till there was only three or four still firing before I shot off the star cluster for everyone to cease fire. Then I ordered everyone to head for the rally point. They all got up and started running, only I gave ’em all a little head start, then I went in a different direction. I worked my way over to where the road curved and crossed there. Then I ran up the hill on the other side of the road. The last of the Serbs were huddled behind their vehicles, still shooting at the hillside where our team had been. They had their backs turned to me. It was kid’s play, really. I shot ’em. Then I went down and put bullets through all their heads.”
“Why, Chief? Why did you do it?”
“Ain’t it obvious? Maybe one of those guys down there still firing back might’ve been Pajocovic. Besides, after what they done, I wanted ’em all dead. And I guess I didn’t want any witnesses left.”
The room suddenly became very quiet. He calmly finished smoking his cigarette. He dropped it on the floor and ground it out, turning his heel four or five times to make sure it was completely extinguished. The physical metaphor was very powerful and very persuasive.
I said, “Okay, Chief, that will be all.”
He stood up and actually saluted me. I saluted him back, then he dropped his hand and turned and looked at Imelda for a very long time. She stared right back. Real soldiers, the professionals, can almost smell each other. Then he marched out and closed the door on a room full of stunned and saddened people.
I turned to Morrow, and her eyes were real moist. I looked at Imelda and she was staring back at me like I was the biggest maggot that ever slimed the earth. I guess Chief Persico was the last man anyone wanted to have done such a despicable crime, and it helped everyone to blame me for having made him confess.
There were some very pent-up feelings inside this room, so I ordered everybody to take a twenty-minute break. Even Morrow got up and left the room. I was left in isolation at the small table we had set up. Something was stuck somewhere back in my dark recesses, some missing piece, and I was trying like hell to dredge it up. I stared at the floor for a very long time.
Fifteen minutes passed before Morrow reentered. She was carrying two cups of coffee.
“Thanks,” I mumbled as she put one in front of me.
She fell into her chair and groaned. “God, this is awful.”
Hard to argue with that, I thought, only nodding. I wasn’t feeling real talkative.