“I … don’t think I’ve decided yet … It must be hard to run a business all on your own.”
“I have Elizabeth and a few part-timers.”
Her questions were inching to places where she wasn’t invited.
“You’re doing things a little backwards,” I said. “You shouldn’t start with the earrings. Start with the dress. Bring it in and I’ll help you find the right jewelry.”
“I didn’t mean to offend you when I asked if you were running your own business. I’m sure you’re quite capable of operating on the planet without a partner. I certainly have.”
“Yes, but that could change,” I said. “That guy from the patio? He was cute. Maybe that’ll turn into something.”
Should I tell her who he was? Can she sense my jealousy? I did mean it as a compliment, but I seemed to have alarmed her. Oh god, I was coming across as peculiar!
“Trust me, talking to cute guys is not a skill I was born with. I had to learn how to do it. And frankly, I’m still quite new at it. When you’ve been single for a long time, like I have, you forget how to approach men, you know? But it’s really just muscle memory. I just needed a little … boost.”
I felt her words slice right through me. Yes. That’s exactly it. That’s what I need. A boost.
She lowered her voice. “I had to get some help in the ‘men’ arena. Big-time. That’s how I met Matilda.”
I could hear Matilda and Elizabeth laughing and chatting at the back of the store.
“Is she a dating coach or something?” I asked.
“You could say that,” Cassie said, spinning the earring rack, examining a pair of gold hoops that seemed more suited to her. “She has a lot of confidence, a lot of knowledge about this stuff.”
“Well, sign me up for the next round of lessons,” I said, laughing.
“I will!” she said, as though it were a real thing, these lessons, this kind of coaching.
Matilda and Elizabeth returned from the dressing room, triumphant.
“I never knew I looked so good in yellow,” Matilda said, the gown draped in her arms. “You can find out all sorts of things about yourself in a place like this.”
Something in me knew that Cassie and Matilda hadn’t come to the store just to buy dresses or earrings, a fact confirmed when Cassie returned on her own two days later, just before closing time.
“I thought I’d take you up on the offer to help me accessorize,” she said, pulling a little black dress out of a shopping bag.
“Oh great, yeah.”
I was surprised at how happy I was to see her. She followed me to the dressing rooms, my nervousness making me uncharacteristically chatty.
“I have a pair of gold hoops and a cuff that’ll look amazing with that dress. What size are your feet? You need to try everything on with shoes.”
“Eight,” she said, slipping into a stall.
I dashed to my office ahead of her, catching myself in the mirror: cat glasses, cream-colored twinset and A-line plaid skirt. I looked like an extra on Happy Days. I didn’t even need glasses. Ugh. Why did I suddenly care what I had on? I flipped through my index cards and cross-referenced them to the second drawer of the third filing cabinet where I stored my gold hoops; the drawer below held my cuffs. I was saving the big hoops for a Cher-type outfit, but on Cassie, with a simple black dress, they’d be stunning. Cassie poked open the office door, trying not to look shocked at my hive of inventory.
“Wow. There’s a whole other store back here.”
“Trust me,” I said. “I know it looks like a lot of stuff, but I know exactly where everything is.”
I pulled her in front of the nearest mirror.
“The top is a little snug. I haven’t worn it since Jazz Fest,” she said, tugging at the halter.
She looked gorgeous in black and I said so. I was about to snap the cuff around her wrist when I noticed her charm bracelet; it was unlike anything I’d seen before.
“That’s a stunning piece,” I said, holding up her wrist to get a better look at it. Normally, charm bracelets did nothing to charm me. They were often so trinket-y, but this one was distinctive. It was made with my favorite kind of gold too, pale yellow, with that rough hammered finish. The chain was thick, almost masculine, and each charm had a Roman numeral engraved on one side, a word on the other.
“Curiosity … Generosity … Courage—where did you get this?” I asked.
Cassie gently pried her wrist free.
“It was … given to me.”
“It’s about as beautiful a thing as I’ve ever seen. Whoever gave this to you thinks very highly of you.”
“I think you might be right about that,” she said. “But does it go with this dress?”
“Mmm … Not really. It overwhelms it. Why don’t you try this—?”
I traded a simple cuff for her bracelet. When she dropped it in my palm, it felt heavy, pleasing; it took everything in me not to slip it on my own wrist.
“No necklace?” she asked, sliding the cuff over her bare wrist.
“Not with a halter dress,” I said with authority, my attention still drawn to the bracelet in my hand. “These hoops will add a bit of sparkle. But I would keep the sides of your hair up.”
She took the earrings from my other hand and held them next to her lobes.
“See? Perfect,” I said.
“You’re right. That’s perfect. Wrap them up.”
She passed me the earrings and held out her hand. It was the strangest sensation, my reluctance to return her bracelet.
“I’ll tell you how I got it,” she said, noticing my hesitation. “In fact, to be honest … that’s why I’m here. Can I sit for a second?”
She took a deep breath, looking about as nervous as I was alarmed. What was going on?
“What I’m about to talk about is pretty strange, so bear with me. It involves an adventure of sorts.”
I felt a surge go through me.
“I’d love to do more traveling, but I don’t fly,” I said preemptively. “Plus, I’m the sole proprietor, and that makes it hard for me to leave—”
“I’m not talking about a trip, though some travel might be involved.”
Her voice and demeanor became steadier and steadier.
“Maybe it would help,” she added, “if I tell you about my own adventures.”
And that’s when she began to recount her life, how the death of her husband almost seven years earlier had upended her life completely. Not because she loved her husband, but because she realized she hadn’t for a long time, which made her even sadder. For years she’d been numb from head to toe. I knew about that feeling and told her so.
“Yes. Matilda talks about a sort of ‘aura of sadness,’ that settles around people. She says she can see it. She saw a bit of it on you. I don’t have that ability, but I do believe you might know something about feeling stuck.”
I don’t know how to explain why it suddenly felt so easy to pour out my heart to Cassie. Maybe it was her stillness, her compassionate eyes. But I found myself telling her about Luke’s betrayal, his book, and how he and Charlotte broke my heart, making it difficult for me to trust not only men but women too. She listened patiently, and I knew without her even saying so that she understood.
“So, tell me what you’re really here for,” I said.
“I’m here to make you an offer. But to accept it, you’re going to have to place your trust not just in men but in a whole bunch of women.”
And that’s when she said the name—S.E.C.R.E.T.—and described its incredible mandate: to orchestrate sexual fantasies that make women feel great about themselves again, or in some cases, for the first time ever.