She flushed. She couldn't remember the younger Charles she had known ever having been quite so gallant. "It was getting warm inside. I needed a little fresh air."
"The hour grows late. Perhaps it's time you went home. I would be happy to see you safely there."
She turned and looked up at him. She couldn't think of anything she would like more and anything she wanted less. "You don't have to bother. I came by myself. I can certainly return that same way. You needn't concern yourself."
"Don't I? I told you, Beth, I want another chance. I won't get that chance unless you find time for me. Unless you come to know me, to realize how much I've changed. Unless you can find it in your heart to trust me as you did once before."
Her defenses went up. He made it sound so easy when it wasn't easy at all. "Why should I trust you, Charles? How many mistresses have you had since the day we wed? How many women have you invited into your bed?"
"Too many, Beth. Too many faceless women who meant nothing at all to me." He reached out and gripped her shoulders. "But not lately, not for more than two years. Even before that, there was no one I wanted. Only you, Beth. Only you."
Her throat ached. She knew how good he was at seduction. He had seduced any number of females over the years. She couldn't listen to his honeyed words. She had to get away from him before he succeeded in convincing her to believe him and destroyed her yet again.
"You weren't the only one, Charles," she taunted as a means of self-defense. "I had affairs, as well. Men I made love to, men who wanted me the way you wanted other women."
He stiffened as she knew he would. Now he would go. The threat would be over. Dear God, why did it have to hurt so much?
"I don't care what you did in the past, Beth. I care only what happens in the future." He moved toward her, reached out and pulled her into his arms. "I don't believe there is anyone else. Not now. Not for a very long time. Let me make love to you, Beth. Let me be the husband I should have been from the start." And then he bent his head and kissed her.
She had expected an assault, not the feather-soft brush of his lips and yet that simple touch reached inside her, whispered over her very soul. Charles deepened the kiss and for an instant she kissed him back, kissed him as she had yearned to do a thousand times in the last ten years.
His arms came around her and his kiss turned fierce, but there was tenderness, too. A deep yearning welled inside her. She could feel his hardness, knew he was wildly aroused. He wanted her. And dear God, she wanted him.
But she wasn't the naïve young girl he had married and she knew what would happen if she let him into her heart again.
Elizabeth forced herself to pull away. Breathing raggedly, she turned and fled the garden.
19
« ^ »
The night was still and quiet but a bright slash of moonlight shone down from above, guiding their way along the road to London. On his big black gelding, Solomon, Caleb rode beside her. They were halfway to the city before Lee thought to ask him where, exactly, they were going.
"There's a small hotel in Piccadilly. It's called the Purley. The accommodations are first cabin and it's known for its discretion." His black horse blew a breath into the cool evening air. "You will stay there until I can find you more suitable accommodations."
She didn't like the sound of that—the reminder she had agreed to become his kept woman. But a bargain had been struck. She would uphold her end of the arrangement.
"I usually stay in my father's town house whenever I'm in London," he continued. "Luc has a place of his own. Ethan is rarely in London and my father is mostly at Selhurst, so the house is generally empty. I'll find something nice not far from the house so it'll be easy to get there."
She was liking this less and less. "So you'll just stop by whenever you get the urge? Is that how it works?"
Caleb drew rein on the black. "Actually, that's exactly how it works. Look, Lee, this was your idea, remember? You didn't have to agree to any of this. You could have made a different decision."
Her chin went up. "Maybe I should have."
Caleb's jaw hardened. His gloved hands tightened on the reins. "And maybe I ought to drag you down from that horse and show you exactly why you didn't." He was scowling, looking like he meant every word.
The thought of Caleb hauling her down, shoving up her riding skirt, and making love to her in the middle of the road left her slightly breathless. Setting her heels to the sides of her horse, she started forward before she goaded him into actually going through with it.
"I made a choice," she said to him over her shoulder. "I don't plan to go back on my word."
Caleb made no comment. He knew how independent she was. He must have realized how difficult it was for her to put herself completely in a man's hands for the first time in her life.
It was nearly dawn by the time they reached London and Caleb procured a suite of rooms for her as Mrs. Durant at the Hotel Purley in Wilton Street.
Lee found the entire scene oddly depressing. Perhaps her dark mood was the reason Caleb accompanied her up to the suite but decided not to stay, simply promised to return later that afternoon, after she'd had time to settle in and catch a few precious hours of sleep.
Staring down at the street below the window, Lee watched him mount the black and ride off down the lane, her emotions in turmoil. Part of her wanted to call him back, to seduce him into making love to her. Another part was glad he was leaving. She needed time to collect herself, to think about the decision she had made and what it meant for her future.
For a while she padded around the suite, trailing her fingers over the rosewood furniture, examining a small silver box on the hearth, sitting for a while on the dark green velvet sofa. The bedchamber was large and airy, with a four-poster bed enclosed by elegant sea-green bed hangings that matched the draperies at the window.
Changing out of her riding habit into a night rail, she climbed into bed, but as tired and depressed as she was, she still couldn't fall asleep. Instead, she tossed and turned, finally gave up and returned to the sitting room. Thinking of Caleb's upcoming visit that afternoon cheered her a little—until she received a note telling her he had been summoned by his superiors to a meeting in Whitehall. He hoped, the note said, to see her that evening but he wasn't certain when.
For the first time, Lee began to understand the true nature of being a mistress.
More depressed than ever, she returned to bed late in the afternoon. She fell asleep thinking about Caleb and dreamed of him in bed with a sophisticated courtesan who looked remarkably like Vermillion.
"Congratulations, Captain Tanner. You and Major Sutton are to be commended on the excellent job you did in stopping the leak at Parklands."
"Thank you, Colonel." Caleb stood across the battered desk where his silver-haired superior sat working. "I only wish we had been able to prevent the death of Marie LeCroix and catch the man masterminding the ring. As long as he is free, the threat to England remains."
"I cannot disagree. However, that is no longer your concern."
"Colonel?"
"Your part in the investigation, Captain, has come to an end. You were chosen for the assignment because we needed a man who knew the business of horse racing. As a friend of your father's, General Wellesley was aware of your expertise. He was also acquainted with your very impressive service record. Which is why he has requested you remain under his command as a member of his specialist troops."
The colonel smiled. "The general has ordered me to extend your stay for two additional weeks so that you may visit your family. After that time you are ordered to return to Spain, where you will report directly to the general himself."
Two weeks. That was all the time he had with Lee. He should have been elated, overjoyed by Wellesley's continued interest, which practically insured future promotions and the chance for a brilliant career.