Was he still in London? Or had he already gone?
She paced in front of the hearth, thinking of him, wishing they could have had these few last days together. Wishing she had left Kinleigh Hall as her heart had told her to do and followed him to the city.
Vermillion would have done it. If she had wanted a man, she would simply have gone after him.
But Lee wasn't Vermillion and the role was now nearly impossible for her to play. Still there were times she could be just as bold and daring. In some ways, she was far stronger than Vermillion ever had been.
The notion gave her courage. Lee jumped up from the window seat and hurried toward the rosewood armoire in the corner. Ignoring the array of walking dresses, traveling gowns, ball gowns, cloaks and pelisses that had been brought to Kinleigh from the Hotel Purley, she pulled out a navy blue velvet riding habit.
Caleb was leaving. There would be fighting in Spain and he could be wounded or even killed. He had promised her father he would stay away from her, but she had made no such vow. If he didn't want to see her, she would return to Kinleigh and never think of him again.
But if he felt as she did… if his heart ached one tenth as badly as hers, then he would welcome her in.
Worried someone might try to stop her, she didn't ring for Beatrice but fought her way into the dress herself, grateful the garment buttoned in front. She penned a note to her maid, telling her she would return on the morrow and please not to worry her father. A few minutes later, she was on her way down the hall, descending the servants' stairs, making her way out to the stable.
She paused to light a lantern, then stepped inside. Grand Coeur nickered at her approach, then whinnied softly as she led him from the stall. She hadn't brought Noir or any of her racing stock. She still wasn't certain whether she would remain at Kinleigh.
"Whatcha doin', Miss?" It was Jack Johnson, the walker who had delivered her saddle horses. Lee had hoped none of the grooms would awaken.
"I have an errand to run." She turned to lift the heavy sidesaddle off of its rack, but Jack, a big, brawny man at least a head taller than she, reached over and hefted it as if were light as a feather. He settled it on Grand Coeur's back.
" 'Tis late, Miss. Ye can't be thinkin' of goin' off by yerself. There's a storm movin' in. And it's dangerous on the roads for a lady."
"I have to go, Jack. I'll be back some time tomorrow."
He shook his grizzled head. He was not a handsome man but there was kindness in his features. "I'll not be lettin' ye go, Miss. Not by yerself. If ye leave, I'll be goin' with ye." He didn't tighten the cinch and blocked her from doing it herself.
It was fifteen miles to London, but the road was well traveled and the inns along the way not far apart. She knew which house in Berkeley Square belonged to the Earl of Selhurst. It wasn't likely she would be assaulted, but there was no way to be sure. In truth, she felt a sweep of relief that Jack would be going with her.
"Thank you, Jack. Perhaps it would be better if you came along."
He nodded, went to saddle a horse for himself, and returned a few minutes later. "Mind tellin' me where we be goin'?"
Lee smiled as she flipped the hood of her woolen cloak up over her head. "London, Jack. We're off for London."
A few minutes later, they disappeared into the misty night.
Caleb couldn't sleep. Tomorrow he would begin his journey back to Spain. He wished it were already dawn so he could be on his way.
Instead, a black, moonless night darkened the sky outside his bedchamber window. A harsh, north wind howled over the chimneys and a slick mist dampened the cobbled streets. Caleb paced in front of the window, paused to watch a lone carriage roll past, then walked over to pour himself a drink.
He thought of Lee and wondered what she was doing this night and if she had settled in with the marquess's family. He hoped so. He wanted her to be happy. It was his most fervent wish.
He removed the stopper from the decanter and poured some of the amber liquid into his glass. He took a drink, hoping the brandy might help him to sleep, started to take another sip when a light rap sounded on his door. Caleb crossed the room to open it, wondering what Grimsley was doing up well past midnight.
"You've a visitor, sir." The old man's ears turned slightly pink. "A lady, sir. She has come a bit of a ways. She says if you do not wish to see her, you should tell her so and she will go away."
His heart started thudding. Surely she wouldn't come all this way. Then he remembered her riding like thunder over the fields, the reckless way she had taken jump after jump. Of course she would come. He set the snifter down on a table beside the door, fighting to curb his impatience to see her.
He wasn't dressed for company. He wore only his breeches, no shirt or boots. He dragged his shirt back on but didn't bother to button it, just followed the butler back down the stairs.
Lee stood in the foyer, a small, cloaked figure with damp, windblown hair the color of rubies and cheeks rosy from the chill in the late night air.
"I took the liberty of showing her groom into the kitchen, sir, for a bite to eat. There is a pallet in front of the fire should he wish to sleep."
A groom. At least she hadn't traveled alone. "Thank you, Grimsley." But his gaze remained on Lee and he couldn't seem to tear it away.
She didn't say a word until the butler had retired, then she hoisted her chin. "If you wish me to leave, merely say the word and I shall be on my way."
His mouth curved. "So I've been told." He wanted to sweep her up, to crush her in his arms, but he was afraid if he touched her he would never let her go.
"Well?"
"I leave for Portsmouth at dawn."
"I know that. That is the reason I am here." She waited for him to say something more, to invite her to stay. When he didn't, she whirled toward the door and started walking. "I'm sure you have a great deal to do before you leave. I'm sorry to have disturbed you. Good night, Captain Tanner."
She reached for the door but he was there behind her. He caught her waist, spun her around, and straight into his arms.
"Too late," he said softly. "You had your chance to escape. Now I won't let you out of my sight until dawn."
She looked up at him, ready to push him away. Whatever she saw in his face changed her mind. Her arms went around his neck and she pressed her cheek to his.
"Caleb…"
For long moments, he just held her. He could feel her heart beating nearly as fast as his own, feel the faint tremors running through her body. She was here. God only knew they would both regret these hours in the morning. Still, he swept her up in his arms and started up the stairs.
"I've missed you," he said as stepped inside his bedchamber and closed the door with his bare foot. "Every day that you have been gone I have thought of you and wished you were here."
He kissed her then, knowing he shouldn't, unable to help himself.
Wishing things could be different.
Knowing for him they never would be.
Lee could scarcely believe she was actually here, upstairs in Caleb's bedchamber. There was a time she wouldn't have been so bold, but that was long ago, before she had met him. Before she had become the person she was today.
She leaned toward him, went up on her toes and kissed him. "I've missed you, Caleb. So very much." She kissed his eyes, his cheeks, his lips. "I had to see you. I couldn't stay at Kinleigh, knowing you might still be here, knowing I might never see you again. I had to come, Caleb. I had to see you one last time."
His hand came up to her cheek. "I know I shouldn't say this, I know you're being here is bad for both of us, but I'm so very glad you came."
"I've thought of you every night. I've dreamed of touching you… of having you touch me. Once you are gone, all I'll have left of you are memories." She kissed him very softly. "I want to spend the night curled up beside you. I want you to hold me in your arms. Make love to me, Caleb. Please?"