"If you do not stop this at once, I shall depart, and then you shall go without lunch!" I threatened.
In response to this I received only a more aggressive and strident wave of cackling, whistling and fluttering, and further dangerous aerial incursions only a hand's breadth from my head. Intimidated, I took refuge in a corner until the squall calmed down. The government of birds and of aviaries was not, I thought, a trade for me.
When even the most impertinent volatiles had returned to order, I began to clean and refill the drinking and feed bowls with fresh water, chicory, beet, yarrow, lettuce, plantain seeds, grain, bird seed, millet and hemp seed. I then furnished the aviary with fresh supplies of asparagus grass, which is good for building nests. As I was scattering a few pieces of dry bread, a hungry young francolin jumped onto my arm, trying to snatch the tasty booty of breadcrumbs from his companions.
Once I had cleaned the feed bowls and swept the dejections from the ground, I moved at last towards the exit, happy to leave behind me the stink and chaos of the aviary. I was just closing the door when suddenly my heart leapt into my throat.
A pistol shot. A projectile whistled by very close to me. Someone was shooting at me.
I bent down with my hands clutching my head in a gesture of protection. Then I heard a hard, loud voice, clearly addressing me: "Arrest him! He's a thief."
Instinctively, I raised my hands in surrender. I turned around, and saw no one. I slapped my forehead and smiled, disappointed at the shortness of my memory. Only then did I slowly look upwards and see him there, in his usual place.
"How witty," I replied, closing the door of the aviary and trying to hide my shock.
"I said, Arrest him, he's a thief!' Boooom!'
That second pistol shot, which seemed even more real than the first one, clearly announced the strangest creature in all the Villa Spada: Caesar Augustus, parrot.
I should take this opportunity to explain the nature and conduct of that bizarre volatile, which was to play no small part in the events I am about to recount.
I knew that, because of its unique qualities, the parrot had been given such grandiose names as "Light of the Avian Realm" and "Monarch of the East Indies", and that the first exemplars had been brought to Alexander the Great from the Isle of Taprobane, since which time many other species had been discovered in the West Indies, especially in Cuba and Manacapan. Everyone knows that the parrot (of which some say there exist over a hundred varieties) possesses the most singular faculty of imitating the human voice, and not only that, but noises, sounds, and much else. Years ago in Rome, the parrot of the most excellent Cardinal Madruzzo and that of the Cavalier Cassiano Dal Pozzo were renowned for imitating the human voice poorly while perfectly mimicking dogs and cats. Then there were those which knew how to imitate the song of other birds, even of more than one species. Outside the Papal States, the parrot belonging to His Most Serene Highness the Prince of Savoy was still remembered for its prompt and fluent eloquence. It is said that Cardinal Colonna's parrot could recite the whole Creed. Lastly, another white and yellow parrot of the same species as Caesar Augustus had just arrived on the Barberini estate, adjoining the Villa Spada, and this one too was said to be a good speaker.
Caesar Augustus was, however, on quite another level from all his fellow parrots. He mimicked human speech to perfection, even the voices of persons whom he had known for only a very short time and whose accents he had barely heard, reproducing tones, cadences and even slight defects in pronunciation. He reproduced the sounds of nature, including thunder, the rushing of torrents, the rustling of leaves and the howling of the wind, even the sound of the waves breaking on the beach. He was no less skilled an imitator of dogs, cats, cows, donkeys, horses and of course all kinds of birds, and perhaps he could also mimic other sounds which I had not yet heard him produce. He would faithfully imitate the squealing of hinges, approaching footsteps, the firing of pistols and muskets, the ringing of a doorbell, horses' hooves trotting, a door slamming hard, the cries of street vendors, an infant crying, the clash of blades in a duel, all the subtleties of laughter and lamentations, the clatter of dishes and glasses, and many more sounds.
It was as though for Caesar Augustus the whole cosmos was an immense gymnasium in which he could day after day refine his indescribable, unsurpassable talents for mimicry. Gifted with a prodigious memory, he was able to bring forth voices and whispers weeks after hearing them, thus surpassing any human faculty.
No one knew how old he was: some said fifty, others even seventy. In truth, anything was possible, given the well-known longevity of parrots, which not infrequently live for over a century and survive their masters.
His incomparable talent, which could have made of Caesar Augustus the most famous parrot of all time, did, however, have its limits. The parrot of the Villa Spada had, indeed, refused to display his gifts for as long as anyone could remember. In short, he pretended to be dumb. Fruitless were requests, flattery, orders, even the cruel fast to which he was subjected, on the orders of Cardinal Spada himself, to convince him to perform. Nothing worked; Caesar Augustus had for years and years (no one knew how many) withdrawn into the most stubborn silence.
Of course, no one knew why this had happened. Some remembered that Caesar Augustus had first belonged to Father Virgilio Spada, the uncle of Cardinal Spada, who had died some forty years previously. It had been Virgilio, a man of letters immersed in antiquities and the classical world, who had named the parrot after the most celebrated Roman emperor. It must have been a token of love; it was indeed said that Virgilio cared much for his feathered friend and there were those among the servants who murmured that the death of his master had cast Caesar Augustus into the blackest melancholy. Had it been the weight of mourning that stopped the parrot's beak? It was indeed as though he had taken a vow of silence, in the sad and insensate expectation of his late master's return to life.
I, however, knew that this was not the case. Caesar Augustus did speak, verily, and I was witness to that: the sole witness, to be exact. I myself could not tell why this should be; I suspected that he felt a particular liking for me. I was in fact the only one who treated him with courtesy; unlike the servants of the villa, I avoided teasing him with twigs or pebbles to make him talk.
I had tried to induce him to speak in the presence of others, swearing that, only minutes before, when we had been alone, he had done so without the slightest difficulty; whereupon he remained silent, looking vacantly at everyone. He made a fool of me, and after one or two more attempts, no one would believe me; the parrot speaks no more, said they, giving me a pat on the shoulder, and what is more, perhaps he never did speak.
Gradually, with the death of the older servants of the Spada household, all memory of the past deeds of Caesar Augustus came to be forgotten. By now I was perhaps the only one to know of what that big white bird with the yellow crest was capable.
On that very day, for a change, the bird had reminded me of this. The false pistol shots and the sergeant's voice (one of many that Caesar Augustus must have heard in Rome) had taken me by surprise, seeming more real than the real thing. It was impossible to know where he might have heard the original sounds. Caesar Augustus in fact enjoyed a unique privilege: he was not held in reclusion like the other birds and had his own special cage with its perch and feed bowl. Thence he would often take flight for who knows what destinations, sometimes simply exploring the villa, sometimes absenting himself for weeks on end. Wandering around the city, he would add to his repertoire of imitations with ever new examples, to which I was in the end to be the one and only stupefied witness.