“Tell me what’s going on babe. I can help you.” She whispers into my neck, her hand glides up and down my body.
“I was pregnant, Low.” I sniffle into her neck, close enough to feel her entire body stiffen.
“Was?”
“I lost her about two weeks ago.” I sob uncontrollably.
“Oh God, Casey. Why didn’t you tell me? I would have been right there by your side.”
“I couldn’t. Everything with Babs happened and Cooper. Then Rocky… Everything was a mess. I couldn’t add to it.” I squeeze tighter not wanting to let go, needing her now more than ever.
“It was G.T.’s baby.” I nod my head in agreement. “And he doesn’t know anything about it.” Her words come out as statements of fact rather than being accusatory. “And you’ve been dealing with this all by yourself. You should have fucking told me.”
“No. I have two friends in Cherry Vale.”
Harlow pulls away from me. “You told them and not me?” She accuses, hurt lacing her eyes.
“No. I didn’t tell anyone. Not until the pain started and I needed help. I called my neighbor Jace who came and took me to the hospital. I had to tell him. There was so much blood, Low.” My voice trails off as thoughts of that day plague me. The ache in my gut rises to my chest, I rub my heart. “I was so scared and when they told me Mia was gone, I couldn’t take it. I still can’t take it.”
Lows arms clutch me tight as I weep into them. “It’s alright. We’ll get through this.” Her hand grabs my head and she coddles me, like an infant. I relish in the embrace. I need it.
“You said Mia. Do you know it was a girl?”
“No, but in my gut she’s a girl and I named her, Mia Low Gavelson.”
“You named her after me?” the shock in her voice would have made me smile at any other time, but not now.
“Of course.”
“Were you going to tell us about the baby?” I hate that she is skeptical of this fact, but part of me knew it would come up.
“Yes. I’d never keep either of you away from her. G.T. may not want me, but I’d hope he’d want to know his kid.”
“He would never have let you leave if he’d have known.”
“I know. That’s why I didn’t tell anyone. I needed to get my life in order. I needed my degree and a job. I wanted to be able to support myself and my baby. And I didn’t want to trap him into something he didn’t want.” I pull away and look down at the floor. “And I didn’t want to be my mother. Now… It just doesn’t matter.”
“Everything matters. You are nothing like your mother. You have to know that.” I shrug not feeling her words. “You have to tell G.T. Now.” She holds me by my shoulders, her eyes bore into mine and the seriousness in her voice is compelling.
I stare into her eyes. “I can’t.”
“Why the hell not?” She barks with anger.
“He can barely freaking stand, Low. What do you think this will do to him? Give me a couple of days and I’ll talk to him, alright?”
“You can’t leave here without telling him, Casey. I mean it. Or I will tell him myself.”
“Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence.” My eyes close and I breathe in deep. This is exactly why I couldn’t tell her in the first place.
“Bullshit. You know I believe in you. I just need your word that you will tell my brother. This is too big, Casey.”
“I know. I will.”
A loud bang rattles the door and walls. “Who is it?” Harlow yells.
“Me.” Cruz’s gruff voice says from the other side of the door. Harlow jumps from the bed opening the door quickly. Cruz wraps his arms around Harlow pulling her up to his awaiting lips. My stomach lurches and I turn away quickly. I’m happy for them. I am. But right now seeing it is too much.
“Casey, G.T.’s callin’ for ya.” I turn to face the man standing with his arms wrapped around my best friend. He hasn’t changed a bit from the last time I was here. Same brown disheveled hair, jeans and rag. Now though, he looks happy, truly happy.
I sigh. “I’ll be there in a minute. Low, go ahead and go.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.” I whisper needing just a few minutes to get myself together before going back up to face him.
“Alright, you need anything, find me.”
“I will.” I wave softly as they leave the room, shutting the door behind them. Burying my face in the pillow, I let go. Tears, screams and a few blows to the defenseless pillow occur hard and fast. By the time my body stops, my breathing is hard, labored and my face feels raw from the wetness.
I somehow pry myself out of the bed and to the bathroom, quickly washing my face and press a cool cloth to my eyes. My breathing is now calm, but the ache is ever present.
“Casey?” I look in the mirror quickly seeing the red puffs around my eyes; there is nothing I can do to hide it. I blow out a long deep breath. What the hell is this, Grand Central Station?
“Hey Tug. Be out in a minute.” I open the door and give Tug a small smile.
“Hey. What’s up?”
“Heard you were down here. Wanted to come see you.” He says in the doorway.
He steps further inside the room making his way to the bed. The room is incredibly small just a bed, dresser and small bath off the corner. But it is much better than the bunks with all the others. With him inside, it suddenly feels even smaller. With not having anywhere else to sit, I motion to the bed. “Have a seat.”
“How have you been?”
Looking into his brown eyes, I feel warmth and comfort. Trust. “Good. School’s going good. Some classes are a bit rough, but for the most part good.”
“Wanna tell me why your eyes are red?”
“No. How have things been here?” I look away not wanting him to see inside. Back when everything went to hell in a hand basket with G.T., Tug was there, talking, laughing and being the shoulder I desperately needed.
“Fucking shitty… What do you think?” He shakes his head. “You like it up there?”
“It’s alright.” Before I loved it up there, now it just reminds me of Mia and the sadness is too raw.
“Just alright. What’s going on? You need to tell me now.” His voice becomes forceful but still very caring. He only wants to help, but I cannot tell him before G.T. That just feels all kinds of wrong.
Before I can speak, I am saved by another pounding on the door. Jumping up quickly, I pull the door open wide.
I am surprised to see a very disheveled G.T. standing there, his smile instantly falls when his eyes look inside the room and lock on Tug. I close my eyes, sighing. I’m not G.T.’s but the predatory look on his face is indicating a confrontation.
“What the fuck are you doing in here?” He growls loudly at Tug, making me jump.
“Just talking.” Tug says standing up and walking behind me. Not the best move.
“Get out!” G.T. booms his face so menacing the vein in the side of his neck twitches. This is going to go bad quick.
I place my hand on G.T.’s chest causing his body to tremble. As his eyes meet mine, they soften a touch. “He was just saying hi. I was just getting ready to come up and see you.” I smile sweetly. Knowing the fire that is about to be set ablaze, I do not see it as a lie because I am going back up to see him, eventually. “Bye Tug. I’ll see ya later.” I say my eyes not leaving G.T.’s.
“Later.” Tug says moving to the door. G.T. barely moves an inch as Tug’s large body squeezes through. Damn men.
“You’re not supposed to be out of bed.” I say my hand still on G.T.’s chest. I can feel the strength under his t-shirt.
“You’re supposed to be with me. I came to find you.” He rumbles unapologetically.