“I think we need to talk.” My blood runs cold; there is no way Harlow had the chance to talk to him without me around. I continue looking at the desk.
“About?”
“Angel, come sit down.” I blow out a deep breath the coldness in my veins heating fast, nerves begin to rack me.
I get up slowly and sit on the edge of the bed. He grips my hand tight and the most unexpected words fall from his lips.
“I lied.” I stare at him having no idea what he’s talking about. “I didn’t fuck that woman who came out of my room that day. I lied about that.”
I gasp and jump out of his grip moving quickly away from the bed. “Why would you do that?” I try my damnedest to hold back.
“I’m a fucking dumbass.” He grumbles and I wait. “Bam wanted you to go to school, get your degree.” He pauses. “And you need someone better. Someone who doesn’t live this fucked up life.”
Anger rises in my gut. Strength I thought I’d lost when I lost Mia comes back in full force. I move quickly to the other side of the room needing some space. “Fuck you! I needed you! I wanted you and only you! And I’m sure you fucked anything that came in front of you.”
“No.”
I stare at him. “So this whole fucking time, I thought you cheated on me. That I wasn’t enough for you! That my pussy didn’t satisfy you.” I turn away not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing the welled up tears. He does not deserve them.
“Not good enough?” G.T.’s voice reverberates through the room making me jolt. “You’re too good, Angel. Too perfect. With you, I don’t want anyone else. I don’t need anyone else.” I hear movement over by the bed.
“Do not get out of that bed.” I demand between clenched teeth. “You pass out again, I’m leaving your ass on the floor.”
“Angel. Look at me.”
“No.” I am not falling for this shit. “I saw you kiss her G.T. Don’t tell me that was a figment of my imagination.”
“That was a thank you peck. It wasn’t a kiss. She cleaned my room, Angel. That’s all.”
“So you’re telling me you never fucked her.” I bat the tears away focusing on the anger bubbling inside of me.
“I didn’t say that. It was before we got together.” He did this. If he wouldn’t have lied, I would have told him about Mia and I wouldn’t have lost her. It’s all his fault. “Look, I fucked up. I know it. Please come here.”
“It’s your fault. It’s all your fucking fault!” I scream so loud I think the walls will shudder. Fury races through my body and I cannot control anything, especially my mouth. My hands shake and my vision becomes hazy. “You’re the reason she’s gone. If you wouldn’t have lied and told me the truth, none of this would have happened!” I clench my fists wanting to punch something, mainly G.T.’s face.
“Who is she?”
“Mia!”
“Who in the hell is Mia? You’ve got me lost.” I don’t even register the confused look on his face because I don’t care. I don’t care about anything. Nothing.
“The day you told me I wasn’t good enough, you remember that? Well, it was the day I was coming to tell you I was pregnant!” His eyes widen. “Yeah. Your baby growing inside of me, but no, that happy moment got crushed because you were a fucking prick!” I scream.
“You’re carrying my baby?” His eyes move to my stomach, my very flat stomach, his forehead wrinkles. I hold on to the fury and grab it with both hands because if I break now, I’ll be in a pile on the floor. Fury is the only thing that can get me through this right now.
“Had G.T., had your baby growing inside of me.”
I turn to him and he straightens on the bed standing up to his full height, well over six feet. His face turns menacing and if I were anyone else, I’d probably be shitting myself right about now. But I’m not. I stand my ground.
“You mean to tell me you aborted my baby?” Each word comes out in rage, a small amount of spittle with each word. His words make me snap and lose all sense of reality.
“No, you fucking prick! No! I would never kill my baby!” I point to my chest to punctuate the word my. “I miscarried, you fucking asshole!”
He crosses his arms over his chest, wrinkles forming around his eyes like he’s in deep thought. My body is breathing so hard I’m beginning to feel light headed, but keep my head up. “You weren’t going to tell me. You fucking left here, carrying my baby and weren’t going to fucking tell me, Casey? What the hell is wrong with you?” He seethes.
I laugh not a happy one but a what-the-fuck-am-I-doing one. “I was coming back to tell you, even if you didn’t deserve to know. I was waiting until I found out if it was a boy or a girl!”
“You fucking said it was a girl.”
“I don’t know for sure. It’s what I think she was. I lost her before I could find out.” My grasp on the anger is beginning to slip, but I hold on by my fingertips.
“So if I wouldn’t have gotten hurt and Diamond wouldn’t have gotten killed, would you have even fucking told me? Or would you have just gone on living your happy little college life up north?”
“Fuck off. I’m done explaining myself to you. You know about her and your twenty-four hours is officially up in my book. Stay the hell away from me while I’m here.”
I walk to the door and grab the handle. “How do I even know the baby’s mine?” He questions from behind me snidely.
The knife that he just stabbed me with had become encased in my heart. Anything left inside of it shrivels into nothingness. “You don’t. Guess you have nothing to be upset about.” I turn the handle of the door and slam it behind me. I turn to go to my room, but stop. If I go there, I will cry myself into oblivion. I need to be around people, it will be the only way to hold myself together.
Walking into the main room, I head directly to the bar where Buzz is standing with a smile as he sees me, but it falls. “What’s wrong girl?” He asks innocently enough.
“Nothing. I need a bottle of Jim and a glass, please.” I motion to the bottle on the wall.
Buzz gets them and pours my first shot, the burning seeps through my body and I can feel the exact moment it hits my stomach. I close my eyes at the fire, but open them quickly pouring another one. I don’t normally drink, but screw it. Screw it all. I pour another and another, shooting them both back quickly.
“You might want to slow down there sunshine.” Tug says from behind the bar next to Buzz.
I wave him off and pour my next shot. My head is already fuzzy, but I can’t stop myself. The music and the commotion around me does nothing to deter my interest in the golden amber liquid in front of me. If only I can forget, just for a while. I gulp another and the bottle is snatched away from me.
I turn my head to the culprit and sigh. Becs. “What are you doing, girl?” The little girl inside wants to shrivel up in his arms, just to feel some closeness with Bam, but I refrain.
“Just having a drink. That’s what we do around here, Becs. Drink, screw and drink some more.”
“You’re done.” He says with authority, I roll my eyes.
“I am not done! Give me a bottle and I’ll take it to my room.” I yell looking into his eyes that are laced with deep concern.
“No, care to tell me what the hell is going on?”
“Guilt!” is boomed from across the room and all movement in the clubhouse seizes. I blow out a breath, wishing I was back up in Cherry Vale, even if it reminds me of Mia, it’s better than this.
I ignore him and turn to Becs. “Just give me one more, please.” I plead, but it falls on deaf ears.
“Guilt from what, Casey?” I shake my head at Becs question.
“From not telling me she was pregnant with my baby and leaving like a fucking coward!” G.T. yells. The audible gasps around the room make my stomach constrict, even if what he’s saying is a lie, it hurts.