Chapter 10—Casey
The entire morning I spent helping Harlow and ten other women get all the food ready for after the funeral today. We made enough food to feed an army, but that’s what we were feeding. An army of brothers. I do anything and everything to keep my mind off of the swirling inside my head, even if only for a moment.
After getting back from seeing Bam yesterday, I stayed locked in my room. Harlow brought me food and tried to coerce me out, but I needed to be alone. Which is totally ironic considering all I wanted before was her comfort before.
I didn’t truly know how G.T. would react to Mia and even though he is pissed as shit, I’m happy about it. I’m happy he cares. It means she mattered to him. Even if he can’t stand to be in the same room as me, at least he cares enough about her to be upset. That’s all that matters.
“You’re riding in the limo.” Harlow says rushing into my room. I’d just gotten the last of my makeup on. I’d decided to go with a simple black dress that hugs my body, but flowed at the bottom. Simple yet cute.
“Okay.”
“You’ll be with G.T.” I turn abruptly.
“You think that’s a good idea? Having us in a confined space.”
“You’re family. You ride in the limo. He can’t ride yet, so he’s with you in the cage.”
“Fine.” I grumble. This is so a bad idea.
“Come on. We gotta get upstairs.” Harlow is wearing her leathers which is to be expected. All the brothers and their ol’ ladies will be riding today in honor of Diamond.
“You riding or riding with Cruz?” I ask climbing the stairs to the main room.
“Riding next to Cruz.” She answers quickly.
Scanning the room, G.T.’s eyes instantly find mine and suck me in. I turn away quickly not wanting to get pulled into the hurt right now. It’s too difficult of a day and I cannot add to it right now.
A commotion from the door commands our attention and all eyes of the club swing that way. A little pixie of a woman stands waving her finger at everyone and no one in particular. I move closer to get a better view. She is dressed in a sleek black dress that shows off her hourglass figure. Her long chestnut hair flows straight down her back. As she turns, I know instantly who she is.
“Shaina?” G.T asks from the far couch. My eyes flicker towards him. He looks good enough to eat. His black pants hug his legs, tight black t-shirt hugs his chest and his rag sets it all off. I shake my head and turn back to Shaina.
Shaina makes eye contact with him. “Well, if it isn’t the MC golden boy, born and bred to run this shithole. Too bad my dad had to die for it to happen.”
“Nice to see you too. Didn’t think you’d make it.” None of us thought she would show her face for it, guess we were wrong… Her relationship with her dad was not the greatest, at least what we knew of it.
“Now come on G.T. what kind of daughter would I be if I didn’t come say goodbye to my daddy?” The tone in her voice pisses me off. It’s smug and arrogant and totally disrespectful to Diamond.
“You didn’t want to fucking say hi to him when he was alive. I doubt it would fucking matter if you say goodbye.” G.T. barks loudly.
“Such a fierce, loyal man you are G.T. Don’t worry, after today I’ll be gone for good. That is after you give me my money.”
G.T. rises from the couch. “What fucking money?”
“I know there is a shit ton of rules in this place. Isn’t there one for a brother killing another brother?” She walks in and stops in front of G.T., turning cold as she says the last three words. My body stills and part of me wants to run to his defense, but I stop myself.
“You fucking bitch. You fucking think I killed him?” G.T. roars.
“You should leave.” Harlow calls from beside me. Shaina’s eyes snap quickly to hers.
“Oh and look who it is, Miss Princess. Don’t you look pretty in all your leather?” She chastises Princess, who walks toe to toe with her.
“You need to shut the fuck up quickly or all these men here will throw your ass out.”
She smirks and turns back to G.T. “What would you call not protecting my dad?”
“I tried to fucking save him.” G.T. clips his vein starts to pulsate.
“Didn’t do a very good job, did ya?” G.T. lunges for the woman just as Harlow grabs her around the throat.
“You are not welcome here. You want to come to the funeral, fine, but don’t fucking step foot back here.” G.T. growls. “Buzz, make sure she leaves. Now.” He nods, grabs Shaina and takes her out of the clubhouse.
“Nothing like getting started early.” Harlow says brushing her hands down her clothes to smooth them out.
“It’s time.” Pops calls out to the club, not acknowledging the outburst and everyone files out.
“I’ll see you there.” Harlow says as I enter the limo.
“Yep. No worries.” I don’t know if I am reassuring her or myself. She nods and takes off leaving the door wide open. I move as far over in the seat as I can, not wanting to touch G.T. I stare out the window waiting to hear the rumble of all the bikes that will follow us. I love that noise.
My body vibrates, sensing him before I feel the movement on the seat. I do not turn to him or talk. I don’t even think I can breathe. This is the closest I’ve been to him since I told him about Mia and while he said some horrible things, I know they were in a moment of hurt. I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same.
His breathing is the only sound I hear until all the bikes behind us roar to life and we move. The seat begins to shake repeatedly. I look over to see G.T.’s leg bouncing uncontrollably as he looks back at the bikes, his face twisting. He’s hurt and crushed he can’t be on his bike, riding for this. My insides twist.
My hand instinctively reaches out and grabs his leg making him jump and I quickly pull away. “Sorry.” I mumble turning back to the window. Heat flushes through my body. He grunts, no words escaping his lips.
It’s strange that in the course of one day, G.T. and I can crush everything we built over the years. Words. They cut deep, deeper than actions. Each one that spewed out of our mouths came from hurt and in my head, I know that, but my heart is another story.
Anger radiates off of G.T. and if I sat any closer to him, I might just go up in flames. Today though, I don’t have it in me to confront him. When I woke up this morning, I grabbed every bit of strength I could, but now at this moment with the cemetery getting closer, the strength oozes out of me, leaving the grief to strangle me like a vise.
Everything is exactly the same as when Bam died, the limo, the brothers and sisters behind it, and all the chapter members behind them, making one endless stream of bikes. I breathe in deep, I can do this and I will.
The limo comes to a stop and I clutch my tissues in my hand, willing myself to get out. “It’s time.” G.T.’s deep voice bounces off the walls of the car. I nod pulling the door open. The warm air caresses my skin as I turn to look at all the bikes. I breathe in and out deep to stop the tears, but the ache in my heart is so strong, I fear it will bring me down.
Heat envelops my back and I inhale G.T. as his hand rests on my shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze. The kindness is almost too much to bear, but I take it, even if for a moment.
I spot Harlow right away. She parks her bike along with the rest of the club, grabs Cruz’s hand and makes her way to the limo. She eyes her brother behind me and I can feel the daggers in her penetrating stare. “You alright?”
I cough to clear the lump in my throat. “Yeah.”
“Come on.” She grabs my hand pulling it with her and Cruz. I keep my eyes straight not wanting to turn around and see G.T. standing there.