Her head shot up. “You? Why?”
This time it was his turn to lean in close to her. “Do you think society at large finds it acceptable for a man to get off tying up his lover and spanking her? Forcing her to her knees so she can suck him?”
“That’s different. You’re the man.”
“So where does that leave submissive men?”
She didn’t have a reply for that.
“You have to treat everyone by the same rules,” he said. “If you say men can be submissive or Dominant simply because they’re men, you have to say women can likewise be submissive or Dominant simply because they’re women. Fair is fair.”
She offered him a small smile. “Everyone’s equal?”
“Everyone’s equal. Inside the playroom or outside the playroom.”
“You make everything seem so easy.” What he said made sense at the moment. She just wasn’t sure if she’d still look at it that way when he wasn’t sitting across from her.
“Not easy,” he said. “Simple. There’s a difference. Something can be simple and still be hard. It was simple for your body to react to me last weekend. It’s hard for your mind to admit your submissive nature.”
She picked at a bit of cheese hanging off her sandwich. “You think I’m submissive?”
“Look at me, Julie.”
Her eyes met his before she could even process that he’d given a command she’d obeyed effortlessly.
“I’m not going to answer that,” he said. “If I say ‘yes’ because I’ve been around enough novice submissives to know, it’ll appear as if I’m trying to fit you into a defined box. If I say ‘no,’ it’ll look like I’m trying to make you something you’re not.”
“But if I’m simply looking for your opinion?”
He shook his head. “I’m too personally involved. Besides, understanding and accepting your sexuality is a journey of self-discovery.”
They spent the next few minutes eating silently. Daniel seemed at ease with the quiet. She appreciated that he allowed her time to think. Of course, she could always think more about their conversation when they weren’t on a date.
“Tell me about your journey,” she asked, breaking the silence. “How did you know?”
He put the remainder of his sandwich down and wiped his hands. “First of all, you should know it wasn’t easy for me, okay?” At her nod, he continued. “While I was in college, I dated a girl who liked to be spanked. I kept telling her no, that I wasn’t like that. Couldn’t do that to her. She kept insisting, so I eventually did it. It had to be the most inept spanking ever, but it made me harder than I’d ever been before.”
She nodded and picked up a potato chip. “And that’s how you knew.”
“No, that’s when I broke up with her the next day and swore I’d never do anything like it again.”
The potato chip fell to the table and he laughed at her expression.
“You’re laughing about it?” she asked.
“Sure, now. Then I was scared shitless thinking I was some sort of deviant who should either be locked up or kept far, far away from women.”
“So, what did you do?”
“I quickly learned that the more I told myself I wouldn’t think about it, the more I actually thought about it. I was miserable. For a long time. Then one day I was online and saw a notice for a group gathering and I went. Met some like-minded people. Discovered I wasn’t a freak.” He winked at her. “Learned how to give a proper spanking.”
She laughed.
“The point is, I’ve been where you are,” he said. “From a different point of view, but one just as hard to come to terms with.”
Knowing he’d dealt with his own demons while accepting his sexual needs gave her a sense of relief and hope. Just like Daniel, maybe she’d one day look back on this time in her life and smile at how far she’d come.
She reached across the table and took his hand. “Thank you.”
Daniel was smiling brightly when she arrived at his house on Saturday. “Hello, Julie. I see you’ve brought your bag.”
He’d asked her when they met for lunch if she’d stay overnight. At the time, she told him she’d have to check her calendar and make sure she thought the invitation through. At times, she felt everything was moving too fast and that she should take a step back. The funny thing was, though, every time she did think on it, she found herself wanting more of Daniel.
He leaned over to take her bag, and his lips brushed her cheek in the process. “You smell great.”
She’d actually put on the body mist as an afterthought. As she’d gotten dressed, nervous about not knowing how to prepare oneself for a playroom session, her eyes had fallen on the mostly neglected mist and she’d thought if you had to be naked, you should at least smell good.
He placed her bag inside the front door, explaining they could take it upstairs later, and led her into his living room. She sat beside him on the couch, taking the hand he offered her.
“How’s your weekend so far?” he asked.
She nodded. “Okay. Better now. Worked a bit this morning. How’s your grandmother?”
“Tess is still fighting me on putting her in an assisted living facility. The thing is, I’m not home enough to care for her properly, so she can’t move in here, and, well, Tess just found out she’s pregnant with twins.”
“Oh, wow.”
“Exactly, like she wasn’t busy enough with one.” He shook his head. “A facility just seems to be the best thing right now.”
She squeezed his hand. “You’ll decide on the right thing.”
“I sure hope so.” He lifted her hand to his lips. “But we can talk about this later. You came to play, right?”
“Yes, but I also came to spend time with you. To get to know you better and because I like you.”
“You have no idea how refreshing it is to be with someone who tells it like it is.” He leaned so close she felt the heat radiate off him. “I like you, too.”
His hand came up and cupped the side of her face, while his lips trailed lower to brush against hers. Softly. Nothing but a touch, but already she was hungry and aching for him. She clenched her fists in her lap.
He pulled away, but left an arm around her shoulders. “I thought we could spend some time in the playroom today. Nothing intense, just some basics.”
She leaned closer to him, anxious for more of his touch. “Yes.”
“Last weekend, I gave you ‘red’ as a safe word. There’s also ‘green’ if you want more, and ‘yellow’ if I’m pushing too hard or you’re approaching your limit.”
Green, yellow, and red. Seemed simple enough.
“No one should ever hold the use of a safe word against you. And you should never, ever play without one.” His arm dropped from her shoulder. “Make sense?”
“Yes, sir,” she said, simply because it seemed the right thing to say.
He gazed at her with unconcealed hunger and then took her in his arms and kissed her with a breathless intensity. His lips were hard and so possessive that she was finally beginning to understand the warnings he’d given her in the past.
He moaned when he pulled back. “Julie.” He took her hand and placed it on the bulge of his erection. “When you call me that . . .”
Something a lot like pride rushed through her at being able to affect him so.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
“Yes, sir,” she said, stroking him through the material of his jeans. “Please, sir.”
“My, my, my, you nearly purred when you said that.” He lifted his hips into her palm. “Does my playful little kitten want what’s in her hand?”
She gave him another stroke. “Yes, sir.”
He grabbed her wrist. “Then first she has to prove she can behave. Submissives are always naked in my playroom and as of right now, that’s what you are. Meet me in there in ten minutes. You can undress in my bedroom.”