She bit her bottom lip and then nodded. Before he gave in to the temptation to hold her a moment longer, he guided her toward the door and into the darkened hallway.
They ducked quickly into the chamber just as Gannon was exiting. Alaric held up a finger for him to await him before urging Keeley toward the bed.
She climbed beneath the covers and Alaric sat on the edge, simply watching her for a long moment. Then he bent and pressed his lips to her forehead.
“I’ll treasure last night forever.”
“As will I,” she whispered. “Go now, Alaric. Parting is all the more difficult for the hesitation.”
He swallowed and stood abruptly. She was right in that regard. The longer he tarried, the more tempted he was to say to hell with everyone.
Without a backward glance he left the chamber. Gannon awaited him, and Alaric gave his instructions in a terse voice.
“See to her bath. Make sure she is undisturbed. Pass the word that she is tired and feeling unwell and will remain in her chamber for the day. There is no work for her to be done this day.”
“Aye,” Gannon said with a nod.
Alaric watched him go and then stepped back into his chamber. He closed the door behind him and leaned heavily against it, his heart thudding like an ax to wood.
Being with Keeley had been the sweetest of pleasures, but having her and knowing he was forbidden her was an agony that surpassed any wound of the flesh.
Keeley hunkered lower in the now cooling water and drew her knees to her chin. The heat had soothed the aches in her body, but naught could be done about the ache that still resided in her heart.
She shook her head and turned to lay her cheek on her knees. Last night had been the single most wonderful night of her life. It was a moment to cherish. She’d spend a lifetime reliving every touch. Every touch.
There was no place for sadness now.
And yet she couldn’t shake the heavy feeling in her chest.
A knock sounded at the door, and Keeley closed her eyes, hugging her legs a little closer. If she ignored the summons, they’d go away surely.
To her horror, the door swung open. Just as she was frantically searching for a way to preserve her modesty, Maddie stuck her head around.
Keeley slumped against the back of the wooden tub. “Oh, ’tis you. I nearly had failure of the heart.”
“I heard you were ailing. I wanted to come up and see if there is anything I can do.”
Keeley smiled, or tried to. The result was her eyes stinging and watering. She sniffed but as soon as the first tear trickled down her cheek, she was done for.
Maddie look horrified and then her features crinkled in sympathy. “Oh lass, whatever is the matter? Now, now, let me get you out of that tub. ’Twill be all right.”
Keeley allowed Maddie to help her from the tub, and then wrapped in a drying linen, she sat in front of the fire while Maddie dried and combed out her hair.
“Now tell me what’s prompted your upset,” Maddie said gently.
“Oh Maddie. I fear I’ve made a huge mistake, but ’tis the truth I don’t regret a minute of it.”
“Would this have something to do with Alaric McCabe?”
Keeley turned her tearful gaze to Maddie. “ ’Tis so obvious? Does everyone know of my shame?”
Maddie enfolded her into her arms. “Shh. None of that.” She rocked back and forth, soothing Keeley with motherly noises.
“I gave myself to him,” Keeley whispered. “He’s to marry another and I went to him anyway. I couldn’t resist any longer.”
“You love him.”
“Aye. I love him.”
Maddie made a sound of sympathy. “ ’Tis no shame in giving yourself to a man you love. But I must know, did he take advantage of you, lass?”
There was an edge of anger to Maddie’s tone and Keeley ripped herself away from the older woman. “Nay! He is as tortured as I am. He knows he must marry Rionna. We’ve both tried to ignore what is between us. ’Tis I who went to him last eve.”
Maddie reached to trail her fingers down the locks of Keeley’s hair in a soothing manner. “ ’Tis hard when the heart must be denied. I don’t have words to tend the hurt. I wish I did. But you are a good lass, Keeley. You mustn’t allow the ills done to you in the past to influence you now. You aren’t a whore. You have a good and loyal heart. The McCabes are fortunate to have you.”
Keeley threw herself in Maddie’s arms and hugged the other woman fiercely. “Thank you, Maddie. ’Tis the truth I’ve never had dearer friends than you and the other women of the keep. I’ll never forget your kindness—or your understanding.”
Maddie stroked Keeley’s hair and returned her hug. “Gannon has told the others that you’re tired and ailing. We all agree you’ve done much in your time here. Why don’t I go down and ask Gertie to send up something to eat. I’ll come sit with you if you like, but you should go to bed and have a long rest.”
Keeley nodded and slowly pulled away. “I’d like that. ’Tis the truth I’m tired and sick at heart. I haven’t the strength to smile this day and pretend naught is the matter.”
Maddie patted her hand. “Hie yourself to bed and let me take care of the rest. Your secret ’tis safe with me. I’ll not even be telling Lady McCabe. ’Tis your concern who you share your affairs with.”
“Thank you,” Keeley said again.
Maddie rose and gestured toward the bed. “Go now. Make yourself comfortable. After a night of loving, I imagine your appetite ’tis monstrous.”
Keeley blushed and then laughed. “Aye, it is to be sure.”
Maddie smiled and exited the room, closing the door behind her. Keeley pulled on her nightdress and then burrowed under the covers. It was a cold day and her chamber had a chill despite the fire Gannon had thoughtfully tended.
As she waited for Maddie, she stared up at the ceiling, grateful she wouldn’t bear the day alone. Her heart already ached enough without the burden of solitude. Sometimes ’Twas best to share with a friend. She missed the friendship that she and Rionna used to share.
Keeley had lived a long time alone, but now that she’d found the companionship—and camaraderie—of other women, the idea of going back to the silent cottage was more than she could bear.
She wanted to be part of the McCabe clan. As painful as it would be, knowing Alaric was close but never to be hers. But she wasn’t willing to be a coward and flee to sulk and lick her wounds in solitude. She was tired of being alone.
She wanted to belong.
Moments later, Maddie returned, not only with Mairin but Christina as well. The women burst into Keeley’s chambers, their smiles warm, their laughter vibrant.
Christina was ablaze with joy as she recounted Cormac’s marriage proposal. Maddie glanced over at Keeley and then reached to squeeze her hand. Keeley squeezed back and smiled fondly at Christina.
The lass was overjoyed, and Keeley allowed that happiness to seep into her soul, bringing with it a measure of comfort she desperately needed. She gathered the blankets to her chest and watched as Maddie added another log to the fire. Food and ale were delivered, and soon the women’s laughter filtered into the hall and beyond.
At his chamber door, Alaric paused and listened to the honeyed sound of Keeley’s amusement. He closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. Then he turned and strode rapidly down the hall toward the stair, ignoring the increasing discomfort in his side.
CHAPTER 21
“Keeley! Keeley!”
Keeley turned her head to see Crispen bolting across the great hall toward her. She braced herself, having become well acquainted with the way Crispen “greeted” her.
He flung himself around her, nearly knocking them both to the floor, but Keeley’s preparation kept them upright.