"No, darling. It will be easier this way. You must trust me now. I swear I will enter you very slowly. I will go only as far and as fast as you want me to go. You can stop me at any time."
She felt the rigid tension in his body and her palms slipped in the sweat on his back. He was lying, she thought happily. Either that or he was desperately trying to convince himself that he truly had sufficient willpower to stop on demand. Either way she sensed instinctively that he was as close to being out of control as she was.
The knowledge made her feel wonderfully wicked and womanly and strong. It was good to know she could bring her powerful, self-contained husband to such a pass. In this much, at least, they were equals.
"Do not worry, Julian. I would no more halt you now than I would try to hold back the sun," she promised breathlessly.
"I am very glad to hear that. Look at me, Sophy. I want to see your eyes when I make you my wife in every sense of the word."
She opened her eyes again and then sucked in her breath as she felt him begin to enter her. Her nails dug into him once more.
"It's all right, little one." Perspiration formed into small drops on his brow as he slowly eased forward. "It's bound to be a bit rough at first but after that we will have clear sailing."
"I do not see myself as a vessel at sea, Julian," she managed even as she wondered at the incredibly tight, stretched, full feeling he was creating within her. Her nails dug deeper.
"I think we are both at sea," he ground out as he fought to slow the penetration. "Hold onto me, Sophy."
She knew the frail thread of his self-control had just snapped. Even as she gloried in the knowledge he groaned heavily and surged deeply into her.
"Julian." Stunned by the swift, fiery invasion, Sophy cried out and pushed at his shoulders as if she could dislodge him.
"It's all right, love. I swear it will be all right. Don't fight me, Sophy. It will all be over soon. Try to relax." Julian dropped tiny kisses on her cheek and throat while he held himself still within her tight channel. "Give it some time, my sweet."
"Will time make you grow any smaller?" she demanded with some asperity.
He groaned and framed her dismayed face between his large palms. He looked down at her with gleaming eyes. "Time will help you adjust to me. You will learn to like this, Sophy. I know you will. You feel so wonderfully good and there is such passion in you. You must not be so impatient."
"That is easy for you to say, my lord. You have what you wanted out of all this, I assume."
"Almost all of what I wanted," he agreed with a small smile. "But it will not be perfect for me until it is perfect for you. Are you feeling any better?"
She considered the question cautiously. "Yes," she finally admitted.
"Good." He kissed her lingeringly and then he began to move slowly within her, long, slow strokes designed to ease himself carefully back and forth in the tight passage.
Sophy bit her lip and waited anxiously to see if the movement made things worse. But it did not. In truth, she did not feel so uncomfortable now, she realized. Some of the earlier excitement was returning, albeit slowly. Gradually her body adjusted to the fullness.
She was just getting to the point where she could honestly say she might be learning to enjoy the odd sensation when Julian suddenly began to move with increasing urgency.
"Julian, wait, I would have you move more slowly," she said hastily as she sensed he was abandoning himself completely to the force that drove him. "I am sorry, Sophy. I tried. But I cannot wait any longer," he gritted his teeth and then he gave a muffled shout and flexed his hips, burying himself to the hilt.
And then Sophy felt the hot, heavy essence of him pouring into her as he went taut. Obeying an ancient instinct, she wrapped her arms and legs around him and held him close. He is mine, she thought with deep wonder. In this moment and for all time, he is mine.
"Hold me," Julian's voice was ragged. "Hold me, Sophy." Slowly the rigidity went out of him and he collapsed, heavy and damp with sweat, along the length of her.
Sophy lay still for a long time, absently smoothing Julian's sweat-streaked back with her fingertips as she gazed up at the canopy over the bed. She could not say she thought much of the final act, itself, but she had definitely enjoyed the caressing that preceded it. She also found the warm intimacy of the embrace afterward very appealing.
She sensed that Julian would never lower his guard to this extent in any other situation with her. That alone was worth putting up with the business of lovemaking.
Julian stirred reluctantly and lifted himself up on his elbows. He smiled with lazy satisfaction and chuckled when she smiled back at him. He bent his head to drop a small kiss on the tip of her nose.
"I feel like a stallion at the end of a long race. I may have won, but I am exhausted and weak. You must give me a few minutes to recover. Next time it will be better for you, sweetheart." He smoothed her hair off her forehead with a tender movement.
"A few minutes," she exclaimed, startled. "You speak as though we will do this several more times tonight."
"I rather believe we shall," Julian said with evident anticipation. His warm palm flattened possessively on her stomach. "I have been kept waiting a long time for you, Madam Wife, and I mean to make up for all the nights we have wasted."
Sophy felt the soreness between her legs and a bolt of alarm went through her. "Forgive me," she said hastily, "I want very much to be a good wife to you but I do not think I shall recover as quickly as you seem to believe you will. Would you mind very much if we did not do this again right away?"
He frowned in immediate concern. "Sophy, did I hurt you badly?"
"No, no. It's just that I have no wish to do it again quite so soon. Parts of it were… were quite pleasant, I assure you but if you do not mind, my lord, I would prefer to wait until another night."
He winced. "I am sorry, sweetheart. It is all my fault. I meant to go much more slowly with you." He rolled to one side and stood up beside the bed.
"Where are you going?"
"I will be back shortly," he promised.
She watched him walk through the shadows to the dresser where he poured water from the pitcher into a bowl. Then he took a towel off the stand and soaked it.
As he returned to the bed it dawned on Sophy what he intended to do. She sat up quickly, pulling the sheet to her throat. "No, Julian, please, I can manage by myself."
"You must allow me, Sophy. This is yet another of a husband's privileges." He sat down on the side of the bed and gently but firmly tugged the sheet from her reluctant grasp. "Lie down, sweetheart, and let me make you more comfortable."
"Truthfully, Julian, I would rather you did not…"
But there was no stopping him. He urged her down onto her back. Sophy muttered an embarrassed oath that made Julian laugh.
"There is no reason to turn reticent now, my love. It is far too late. I have already experienced your sweet passion, remember? A few minutes ago you were warm and damp and very welcoming. You allowed me to touch you everywhere." He finished sponging her off and discarded the stained towel.
"Julian, I… I must ask you something," Sophy said as she quickly readjusted the sheet to preserve some semblance of modesty.
"What is it you wish to know?" He came over to the bed and calmly climbed in beside her.
"You told me there were ways of preventing this sort of thing from resulting in a babe. Did you use any of those ways tonight?"