Polystratus gazed around admiringly at Pa's special brand of decor. This was one of the rooms that periodically flooded. At least the blotched frescos might stop the facilitator adding noughts to his estimate Millionaires would have had new paint.
I introduced myself as Procurator of the Sacred Geese of Juno. Untrue, since I had been. let go' by the tight-pursed Emperor. My post had been made redundant; nonetheless, I still sometimes went up to the compound and endured a peck or two for old times' sake. I could not bear to think of the Sacred Geese and the Augurs' Chickens suffering neglect. Besides, we were used to the free eggs.
Helena Justina was giving her jewellery a good workout this week; tonight she had on a rather fine amber necklace, plus ridiculous gold ear-rings like chandeliers which she may have borrowed from a circus artiste we knew. She scrutinised Polystratus slyly, while I perfected our winsome tourist act.
He had late-luncher's breath, but had covered it up especially for us by sucking a lavender pastille; it slid in and out through that wide gap in his teeth. Perhaps he had hoped I had a wife he could flirt with. Tonight he had changed from the ghastly yellow outfit I saw him in this morning; he had smartened up for the occasion and was now in quite a respectable long tunic, dried-blood red with an embroidered hem. I reckoned he bought it as a cast-off from some touring theatre company. It looked like something a king would wear in a very boring tragedy.
Put yourself m my hands, madam!' cried Polystratus saucily. Already Helena disliked him and he seemed none too keen on her either, since she looked ready to stop me signing any expensive contracts. I could see him struggling to get the feel of our relationship. For fun, we had changed places in the game now; I was pretending to be travel-crazy, while Helena played the sourpuss. This did not fit what I had said at the bureau, so Polystratus clearly felt caught out.
I rather like the sound of the infinite journey plan,' I pleaded with Helena. Go as we please, not tie ourselves down, wander wherever the fancy takes us.
Excellent!' Polystratus beamed, eager to let me do the work for him.. May I ask what you do in life, Falco?' He was testing my collateral. How wise If only I had some to test. Are you in trade' Import-export? Maybe favoured by a legacy?' His eyes wandered around the room, still seeking evidence of money. There was a highly polished silver display-stand that must seem good for an excursion to a few Arcadian temples. The back was caved-in, although from where he sat he would not see the defect
Marcus is a poet!' Helena quipped wickedly.
No profits in it, I smirked. All businessmen say that.
Polystratus was still taken with the silver stand. Family habit kicked in. I wondered if I could sell it to him. Still, Pa would haggle about sharing the commission..
Helena noticed my daydream and aimed a kick at my shin.. I really must go and see my little brother, Polystratus; that's all. It's my wild husband who is interested in tailor-made trips. Last I heard, he was hankering for Egypt.'
A classic romantic!' the facilitator chortled. We do a nice little Spring Excursion to the Pyramids of Giza. Alexandria is a hot draw. Gaze at the Pharos. Borrow a scroll from the Library, a scroll that may once have rested at the bedside of Cleopatra while she made love to Antony…'
Helena, who collected information, shook her head at me.. Did you know that Augustus went to pay tribute at Alexander the Great's tomb, he covered the corpse with flowers – and inadvertently broke off a bit of Alexander's nose?'
What a lady!' Polystratus thought women with a sense of humour should be locked in the pantry – however, he knew that was out of the question if the cash in our bank chests had come as her dowry.
She's a treasure!' I meant it. It unnerved him He dealt in cliche wives. Tell us about these tailor-mades of yours,' I insisted, still the stubborn husband who was yearning for adventure.. It has to be Greece, for her brother…
No problem with that,' Polystratus assured me.. We can do you a spectacular Pythons and Phidias circular itinerary.
I really want to go next summer, to catch the Olympic Games. I glanced at Helena, implying she had refused permission
Oh bad luck! Our Tracks and Temples tour is there at the
moment.' For the first time I wondered why, if the Games were not until next year. Still, Olympia has an age-old religious sanctuary, its statue of Zeus one of the Seven Wonders of the World.. Funnily enough,' Polystratus confided,. I had a letter back about that group only today; they are having a wonderful time. Absolutely thrilled with it, all of them.' That would be all except the late Valeria Ventidia, and possibly her bridegroom. He could have no idea we knew about the murder.
So how do your arrangements work?' Helena enquired.. Do you have someone who escorts people, to find good accommodation and organise the transport?'
Exactly! For our Greek adventures, that's Phineus. Our best guide. A legend in the trade, ask anyone. He does all the legwork, while you are out enjoying yourselves.' And if a client disappeared, I knew from Caesius, this Phineus legged it back to Rome.
Helena was frowning nervously.. So if anything went badly wrong.
Not on our trips!' snapped Polystratus.
What if there was a terrible accident and someone died on the journey?'
Polystratus slurped through his missing teeth. I wondered just how many bar-room brawls a man had to partake in to wreak such dental havoc.. It can happen.' Changing his tactics, he lowered his voice.. In the rare eventuality of a tragic accident, we do have expertise in repatriation, both for the living and the not so fortunate.'
So consoling! You hear such stories,' Helena murmured meekly.
Believe me,' Polystratus confirmed,. I know of companies who behave quite shamefully. Some old gent swallows a grape pip and chokes, then the sobbing widow finds herself abandoned with no money and no donkey, hundreds of miles from anywhere – I can't even tell you the appalling things that happen – but we,' he pronounced,. have been organising happy travel for two decades. Why, the Emperor Nero wanted to see Greece on one of our journeys, but unluckily for him, it was booked out. We always say that when he slit his throat with a razor it was out of disappointment that we had no room for him.
I gave the agent a sickly smile.. I met Nero's barber. He does a superb shave. Xanthus. What a character. Now he's working for a retired rebel chieftain in Germany… He was heartbroken that Nero committed suicide using one of his best razors.'
Polystratus did not know how to take that. He thought I was
poking fun.. Nobody who goes with us ever has any trouble, I can promise you.'
The Nero line was his official joke. Unluckily for Polystratus, we already knew that his promise of freedom from trouble was a lie.
V
We put off Polystratus by saying we would think about his Acropolis Adventure, definitely, really soon. I even managed to persuade him to sneak me a copy of the route of Tracks and Temples, implying I would hide it under my mattress then book myself a boy"s sporting escapade next year.
That would have been one way to investigate Olympia. Seven Sights Travel were the link between the two young women"s deaths. Caesia and Valeria had both travelled with this pushy team. So we could have sat back until the next Olympics, travelled with Seven Sights ourselves, and just waited to see which female tourist had an adventure too many.
Falco and Associates were not so irresponsible. Anyway, I was being sent to Greece – assuming I went – this year, to nudge Aulus on his way to Athens The noble Julia Justa wanted her baby signed up with a rhetorician now\ If I failed to arrange it, in a year"s time I was likely to find myself divorced.
Why stick with one sponsor, when you can fix up two7 I took myself to the Palatine. I was fobbed off with an excuse I knew of old that the Emperor was visiting his Sabine estate. In any case, Vespasian would quite likely pooh-pooh the Olympus trip but afflict me with some ghastly political mission in the foggy north (like the one where he lumbered me with the imperial barber, Xanthus)