“Not quite yet, Tommy-Boy. We aren’t gonna let ya off that easy, are we blokes?”
“Not even,” Bummer said.
“Nope, Tommy. I’m afraid that you’ve just earned yourself some real pain. Now, get the hell up and I mean now, not tomorrow!”
Tom managed to get up onto his feet, his shin writhing in pain as he did so.
“Let’s get the hell out of this morbid place. Lead the way toward the street, Tommy-Boy. And don’t try anything funny or believe me, I’ll shoot your balls off one by one before I totally waste you.”
Tom stumbled toward the window and climbed out onto the sidewalk. He was so whipped now that he could only pray for salvation when they finally killed him.
“Let’s take him back to camp, boys. I’ve just got an idea and it is freaking brilliant!”
“What is it, Chappy?” Bummer asked excitedly.
“Oh, I’m afraid it’s just too good to give up right now, lads. But I can tell ya this-Tommy is gonna be in a for a howling good time when we get back!”
“Shit, Chappy-give us a hint, anyway,” Hoops pleaded.
“Hmm. Well, let’s just say that we may have our other guest put on a real nice show for Tommy-Boy here. A show that I think he’ll enjoy beaucoup!”
The three had drawn up alongside and Tom glanced over at Chappy. A sinister smile came to his face as Bummer exclaimed excitedly, “Oh shit, man-I think I got a pretty good idea what you’re talking about. Too freaking awesome, dude!”
The mention of this “other guest” made Tom wonder whom they might be referring to. Could it be Erin? Was it possible? If so, then what had happened to Kyle? Or maybe the guest was Kyle and Erin hadn’t been caught yet.
He needed to find out.
“Who is your other guest?”
The moment he spoke the last word, Tom felt something crash into his ribcage.
“Silence, Tommy-Boy! It is none of your goddamn business and you had best keep your trap shut if you know what’s good for you. You don’t have any idea how close I am to maiming you with this piece. Are you getting the picture, mate? Or do I need to prove that I mean business here?”
Tom glanced over at Chappy, not sure if he should answer or not. He nodded instead.
“There you go, man. And let’s just keep it shut until I say so.”
They had returned to where the Jeep was parked; but instead of stopping they moved past it. A moment later, Tom saw the vehicle they had apparently arrived in and did a double take.
Parked in the middle of the street was a shiny black Cadillac hearse, complete with curtained windows.
“What do ya think of our wheels, Tommy? Not many miles to a tank of petrol but nice and roomy!”
Tom gasped, but remained silent.
“Let’s put Tommy in the back, Hoops. Along with the stiff.”
Tom glanced in horror at Chappy. The boy suddenly broke into laughter. “Just kidding, Tommy-Boy! No coffin back there, I promise!”
Hoops took Tom around to the rear of the hearse and opened the tailgate. He gestured for him to climb in, no small task while wearing handcuffs. He managed to wrestle himself in and lie down on his side in the rear compartment, his head resting forward. Hoops slammed the tailgate door shut and came around to the side. All three of them got in with Bummer driving, Chappy in the front passenger seat and Hoops in the backseat.
“We forgot the iBook,” Hoops said after Bummer fired up the V8.
“Go get it-and the cell phone,” Chappy ordered.
Bummer pulled up beside the Jeep, Hoops hopped out, gathered up the items and got back in.
“To camp, James,” Chappy ordered.
Bummer floored it, laid a patch and sped east on Thirty-Fourth. Tom’s vision was partially obstructed by the hearse’s curtained windows but he caught a quick glance of the Empire State Building as Bummer zoomed past it.
A few minutes later, the hearse swung a left onto what looked to be Park Avenue. Bummer slowed down a little as Tom peeled his eyes through the curtain in an effort to get a fix on where they were going.
“What we gonna do about that heap, Chappy?” he heard Hoops say.
“Oh hell, I don’t know. It’s in really bad shape-about all it’s good for is petrol. That poor bloke was about as worthless as they come, eh?”
Bummer replied, “No shit. Crap car, no good stuff except that cheap. 22 and nothing but attitude. Sweet hot lady, though.”
“ Sweet is an absolute understatement, Bum! That hottie is gonna provide us with many a premium ride-makes me willy stiff just thinking about her!”
All three chortled.
“Jesus, damn-our own white slave anytime we want her! But just wait’ll she gets a shot at my throbbin’ johnson! She won’t want shit to do with you lily-white punks after that!” Hoops exclaimed.
“Hate to break it to you, mate, but size isn’t everything. English charm and incredible longevity will have her crawlin’ back for more from yours truly,” Chappy said.
Then Bummer chimed in, “Screw both of you! Did you see the way she was looking at me after I made mincemeat of her boyfriend? That was the look of respect! She wanted to give it to me that very minute! Well, maybe once she got over the fact that I’d just split her loverboy’s skull in two, that is. But I swear that whole goddamn whupping turned her sweet ass on!”
“Bummer, you are one sick dude,” Hoops declared.
“Screw you, Hoops!”
Tom’s mind was reeling as he felt the hearse begin to slow down again. Erin! he thought. And Kyle! They had to be talking about Erin and Kyle! Who else could it be?
“Well here we are-home sweet home,” Chappy announced. “Let’s get Tommy-Boy out of this crypt and show him our humble abode.”
Tom squinted his eyes to see where they were. It looked like they were still on Park Avenue.
Hoops came around to open the tailgate.
“Out, Tommy.”
Tom scooted on his ass toward the rear of the hearse and sat on the bumper long enough take in the surroundings The hearse was pulled up in front of 301 Park Avenue-The Waldorf-Astoria!
As Tom let out a gasp, Chappy came around and pulled him on to his feet.
“So what do ya think, Tommy-Boy?”
“I’m speechless,” was all Tom could say. The mere thought of these skuzzy delinquents inhabiting one of the world’s most elegant hotels was inconceivable.
“You freaking should be,” Chappy replied. “And let’s keep it that way.”
Chappy shoved Tom forward as they headed for the entrance of the famous Waldorf. Bummer held the door open and Tom was unable to remain silent after seeing the inside. “Where is all of the light coming from?”
Chappy glared at him and Tom saw murder in his eyes for speaking out of turn. The English boy’s misguided pride, however, prevailed.
“Backup generators, Tommy. Practically everything in this place is fully functional. And quite comfortable, I might add.”
Tom squinted as he took in the elegant beauty of the Waldorf’s lobby, bathed in light. A huge crystal chandelier cast delicate jewels of reflected light onto the marble floor. The stunning effect of the lush lobby lighting was a study in contrasts from the dark foreboding world he’d just left outside.
“Hungry, Tommy?” Chappy asked offhandedly.
Tom could eat a horse. “Starving.”
“Too freaking bad!” he quipped and giggled his girlish giggle. “Can’t feed ya, I’m afraid. But I’ll tell ya what I can do for you while my mates and I enjoy a little snack.”
Tom saw Bummer grin a moronic grin out of the corner of his eye. Tom simply stood there and braced himself for whatever came next.
“This way, please,” Chappy said, taking Tom by the arm and leading him across the lobby. “I have a special place for you to gather your thoughts and ponder the meaning of life.”
He led Tom over to a pair of doors located at the far side of the lobby as Bummer and Hoops followed behind.
“You’re roommate awaits you.” Chappy announced as he swung open the doors.