He knew one thing for certain: he was oddly attracted to the girl in a way that he couldn’t really put a finger on. It wasn’t sexual or anything like that-it was more like an invisible bond he felt between himself and her. An indefinable attachment.
Not surprising, really. After all, they had already gone through a lot of intense situations together. Erin had been his only ally in this whole absurd thing-his cohort and in fact his only tangible hope for survival. Had he not discovered her, he would probably still be back in Columbus right this moment combing the streets relentlessly for signs of life that may never again exist.
Whatever the case, he felt certain that he could never simply forget about the girl and deny himself any contact with her in the future. He felt a certain responsibility for her now-to be there to protect her and guide her if need be…
“Tom?” she suddenly said. “What are you thinking about?”
He realized that his mind had drifted off.
“Oh, nothing in particular. Just daydreaming, I guess.”
“About finding your family?”
“Yeah, you could say that. And about you, too.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that I’m very glad I met you, in spite of the horrible circumstances under which we have met.”
“That’s funny. I feel the exact same way but couldn’t find the right way to put it. You just did it for me!” she smiled brightly.
Tom put his arm around her waist and pulled her close to his side. Erin followed suit.
He said, “Let’s get gassed up and head back to Ohio, what say?”
“Sounds like a plan,” Erin replied, holding him tighter.
CHAPTER 13
As they drove through Easton, Pennsylvania, Tom felt bold enough to ask Erin a few questions about her past. She had slept most of the hour and a half drive and awoken moments ago. The girl was still a little groggy but in good spirits.
“You warm enough?” he asked.
“Yeah, like toast. It sure is a lot warmer today than it was yesterday.”
“I hope this weather holds out. The turnpike can be rough when it’s snowing.”
Erin chuckled. “Kyle almost totally wiped out at least twice. His car was lousy in the snow-not to mention that he is, or was, a pretty bad driver.”
“How long had you known Kyle,” Tom asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.
She thought for a moment then replied, “About two years.”
“Where was he from-Ohio?”
“No, he was from Long Island. I met him in Ohio, though.”Tom could already sense the hesitation in her voice. Time to back off? He’d play it by ear.
“When I lived in the city, I used to go out on Long Island quite a bit. Some really nice beaches out there.”
“I know-we went to Montauk one day, out on the very end of the island. It was so pretty! So much nicer than the city.”
“So you lived in New York, too?” Tom asked, surprised she had never mentioned it before.
Again, the slightest hesitation in her voice. “Yeah, for a while.”
“With your family?”
Silence.
Tom looked over at Erin. Her head was turned and she was staring out the window. He waited a moment and said, “Erin-you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she replied, continuing to stare.
“I hope I didn’t say something wrong.”
Erin turned and faced him, a tear in her eye. “No, you didn’t. I just don’t really know how to answer you.”
“What do you mean?”
“I haven’t really ever had a family, Tom. I was adopted.”
Tom realized he had hit on a very delicate subject. He also wanted to know more about it.
“I’m sorry, Erin. If you’d rather not talk about it, I’ll understand.”
She smiled wanly. “No, it’s fine. There’s really not a whole lot to say other than I was adopted as a baby and that I’ve been in several foster homes throughout my life. That’s about all there is to it.”
“How long have you been on your own?” he asked, recalling that she lived alone in her own apartment.
“Oh, about six months.”
“Do your foster parents live nearby-I mean in Ohio?”
“If you’re referring to my last ones, yes. In Cleveland.”
“You keep in touch with them?”
“Not really. Listen, Tom. I appreciate your interest in my past but I’d prefer not to say anymore about it. No offense, but I really don’t think I can do it. Not now, anyway. Maybe later, I don’t know. Do you understand?”
Tom was angry with himself-he realized that he’d pushed her too hard much too soon. He should have taken more time with her.
“Sure, I understand. I’m sorry, Erin. I won’t pry anymore.”
She held his eyes for a moment and said, “I didn’t think you were prying, Tom. It’s just that, I don’t know, my past has not been the kind that anyone would be proud of. In fact, it has been horrible and disgusting. I don’t want you to think badly of me. I’m afraid that if you knew about my life, you… you wouldn’t like me anymore!”
Tom’s was stunned. She couldn’t be any further from the truth.
“That’s ridiculous, Erin! I don’t care what you’ve done or not done before-it won’t change how I feel about you now. I really like you. A lot. And I care about you a lot. Nothing you could do or say would ever make me think any differently of you.”
She smiled sweetly. “You really mean that?”
“Of course I do.”
“I think that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me,” she said, her eyes welling up again.
“Well, I just want you to know that it’s true,” Tom said, offering his hand to her.
She took his hand in hers and squeezed. She breathed a long sigh of resignation, as if she were about to shed a great weight off her shoulders. “My life has been so, so pathetic! You are not going to like what I’m about to tell you.”
“Try me,” he said encouragingly.
Erin sighed deeply. “Well, I guess I’ll start at the beginning. My first memories of growing up were in Youngstown. My first foster parents were very nice to me and it wasn’t until I was older, seven years old to be exact, that they let me know that they weren’t my natural parents. That crushed me.”
“Why would they tell you that in the first place, especially at that young age?”
“Because they could no longer afford to raise me, that’s why. My foster dad had lost his job and my mother had just been a part time waitress. They tried to make ends meet but simply couldn’t-Youngstown had fallen on some hard economic times. So they had to send me back to the adoption agency.”
Tom was speechless. Surely her foster parents could have tried harder to make it work instead of taking that route. He bit his tongue, though.
“So what happened then?”
“I was adopted by another family. They had a couple of other kids, too, so it was sort of neat. At first, anyway.”
“What do you mean, ‘at first?’”
“Let’s just say that my new father was-well, he molested me.”
Jesus! Tom thought. How much worse could this get?
“Oh Erin, I’m so sorry to hear that,” was all he could say.
“It went on for three years. Finally, he got caught. By my foster mother. I was out of that place in a flash.”
“You had never told anyone before?” Tom asked, bewildered.
“No, are you kidding? He told me he would kill me if I told anyone, and I believed him!”
Tom was speechless. All he could think of was this poor orphaned girl who had first been rejected by one family only to be relocated to another one with a parent that was supposed to be raising her molesting her. How in Christ’s name could anyone be that cruel?
Erin said, “I know what you’re probably thinking now: oh poor little Erin. But don’t think that way, Tom. It wasn’t the end of the world and I don’t need your sympathy. I probably deserved what I got