“Are you sure you’re okay being here? We can leave.” His voice softened but I could tell he didn’t want to.
Too late, buddy. I’m already here. You’ve already sent me spiraling back in time.
“I can’t believe you don’t remember.” The light flecks in his eyes sparkled as he looked at me.
“Remember what?”
“You don’t remember being here with me before? I wanted to wait until we got inside, but I’m afraid you won’t let me get you in there.” He smiled wickedly at me, his hand sliding down to stroke my back.
My heart pounded, raced actually, as the memories I’d pushed back since that summer over ten years ago flooded through me. Thoughts of me and my summer crush sitting in the sand, arms wrapped around each other as the sun set. Watching Scotty surf at dawn, and then staying all afternoon when he could, which wasn’t often enough since his mom got sick. Saying good-bye here, in the parking lot of what had become “our” café.
And my overly dramatic teenage heart feeling like it broke in two as I had to leave him when the summer ended.
• • •
I flipped over, reminding myself that it was time to tan my back, and undid the strap of my bikini top. No one wanted tan lines and I agreed. Propping my head up on top of my fists, I watched Scotty out in the ocean, his arms paddling hard as he moved to catch the oncoming wave. He pushed himself from his knees to his feet in one swift motion, and I envied the smooth, efficient way the surfboard tilted and cut through the water in response to a slight shift in his hips.
Surfing came so easily to him, but when he had tried to teach me yesterday morning, all I accomplished was perfecting my tumbling skills. When I finally did stand on the board in the water, it lasted all of two seconds before my balance slipped away and I landed in the freezing ocean again.
Scotty could have teased me mercilessly, but he didn’t. He reminded me that it took most people years to learn how to surf well . Still, I was pissed I hadn’t learned in a single day. Ever the perfectionist, I nodded my head at him, but secretly wished I was more athletic.
Ice -cold water droplets rained down my back, pulling me away from yesterday and back to today with a shock. I moved to jump from my towel, but thankfully remembered that my top was untied. Instead I quickly turned my head to the right, seeing Scotty standing above me, ringing out his wet clothes.
“Stop it,” I whined as I retied my top.
He placed his cold fingers on my back. “Leave it untied.”
My eyes met his . Recognizing the lust-filled hormones raging behind them, I pulled the bow on my top tight and pushed up onto my knees, facing him. “I’m not letting this entire beach see my goodies.”
Scotty glanced around from side to side . “Lucky for you, no one’s looking. Just me.” He folded his arms across his bare chest.
“Nice try,” I teased.
With his towel next to mine, Scotty lay down on his side and ran his fingers along my hip. “Need me to rub some suntan lotion on you?”
I swatted at his hand. “Oh my gosh, Scotty! Is sex all you think about?” Only fourteen and still a virgin, sex talk made me nervous. I hadn’t felt about any boy in my hometown the way I felt about Scotty, but I knew the summer was ending soon and most likely, so were we.
He shrugged and closed one eye . “I think about music too.” His laugh filled my ears as he leaned down to kiss my lips. “But mostly sex. What can I say? I’m a teenage boy and my loins are needy.”
This time it was my own laughter that filled my ears. “Loins? Your loins are needy? Sounds serious. You might want to see a doctor for that,” I suggested with a coy smile.
“Wanna play doctor?”
• • •
I looked up into Walker’s eyes, suddenly realizing why they’d looked so familiar in a more meaningful way. “Oh my God. Oh my God.”
My mouth instantly felt dry, as if I’d eaten a bucket filled with sand, and I choked on my words, my thoughts, my memories. My head spun as I tried to keep myself standing upright. It didn’t work and I crouched down, wrapping my arms around my knees as I lowered my head, my shoulders wracked with my sobs.
Walker instantly squatted in front of me, frantically stroking my hair and rubbing my arms, touching me, consoling me in any way he could.
Shaking my head, I looked up, my vision blurred with tears. “Scotty?”
“Scott Walker Rhodes,” he corrected gently.
“Is it really you?”
“Was I really that forgettable?” He smirked at me, but I didn’t miss the moisture that suddenly filled his eyes.
“It is you, isn’t it?” I choked out. “You look so different.”
“I finally lost all my baby fat,” he said jokingly, but it was true. “And grew about a foot since you last saw me.” He flexed his arms, making the muscles press against the sleeves of his shirt as he smiled. “And I’ve been working out.”
I half laughed. It was amazing how much he’d changed since that summer a decade ago. He was much taller now, his body lean and muscular, a far cry from the shorter, pudgier teenage version of him. His hair was now close-cropped and nearly black, very different from the long, wavy sun-bleached dark brown locks that were always falling into his eyes when he was a teenager. And his face was now the face of a man, all chiseled and lean; no remnants of his once-full cheeks remained. But those eyes, they hadn’t changed a bit.
We were just kids that summer, but looking at him now, I felt so stupid. I wanted to smack myself for not seeing it before. It seemed so blatantly obvious that the man across from me was Scotty, my summer crush from when I was only fourteen.
Old friends of my family had plans to tour Europe that summer, so they had asked my parents if we would watch the house and take care of their dogs. My parents, both teachers, jumped at the idea of spending the summer in Malibu, and I was overjoyed. Just the thought of spending the whole summer in the Johnsons’s huge beach house steps from the ocean thrilled me. I had no idea I’d leave my heart there in the sand when the summer ended.
“I–I can’t believe it,” I stuttered as I tried to form rational thoughts. “How long have you known? You’ve always known it was me, haven’t you? That was why you were trying to find me.” I spoke rapidly, the pieces of the puzzle finally clicking together.
“You look exactly the same, Madison,” he said as his fingers twirled my hair. “I mean, you’ve definitely changed,” his gaze roamed along the curves of my body, “but you still look the same.”
“Why didn’t you say anything at dinner? Or at my condo?” The wind picked up, blowing my hair into my eyes, and I brushed it back, not wanting to miss any expression on his face while my mind still struggled to put all the pieces together. Not that I was confused any longer, but I did feel overwhelmed.
Walker shrugged, suddenly looking unsure of himself. “I needed the right time. And part of me kept hoping something I would say would trigger a memory and you’d remember on your own.”
“I’m really bad with placing faces, and you’ve changed so much.” I shook my head wildly. “Plus I blocked it all out. I’d been too hurt after we lost touch. I forced myself to forget about you, pretend there was no you.”
He winced as his breath whooshed out of him. “That’s harsh.”