"Jax, you know what happened to my first husband, don't you?"
"Yes," Jax said. "Seth told me, and he told me why, too. You killed him in self-defense. You did it to save your children, and you did the right thing, Sarai. I only wish I could have killed him for you."
"But you don't know the whole story, Jax," she said softly. "I enjoyed killing him. I'll never forget the incredible rush that killing him gave me. I felt so free, so powerful! It was disgusting and exhilarating all at once, and I made myself a promise. I decided I'd never let myself get into a situation where a man controlled me again. I never want to face another choice like that."
A wave of compassion swept through him, and he pulled her into his arms. She was crying in earnest now. He pressed her head against his shoulder, and she started sobbing.
She cried for a long time, and he simply held her, marveling at her strength. Despite everything she'd gone through, she still managed to hold herself and her life together.
Eventually her sobs quieted down, and she rested against him. He spoke.
"I've told you that on Saurellia only one in five children are female," he said. "We have a legend about that…according to legend, when the Goddess created the world, she made men and women equally strong. But within the first few generations, she discovered that even though men and women had the same strength, the women's lives were so much harder that it wasn't fair. Not only that, society started falling apart. There were wars and famine. Children starved in the streets, and it was an abomination before the Goddess.
"So she started making fewer women, but making them stronger," he continued. "Now there are more men then women, but our women are so strong that they hold our society together. Any Saurellian man lucky enough to be found worthy to be mated to one of those women is blessed a thousand times by the Goddess. Their relationship can be more wonderful than anything in the imagination, but it will never be unequal. There isn't a Saurellian man alive who can control his lifemate. Our society is matriarchal."
She looked up at him, blinking her eyes.
"What does that have to do with us? I'm not Saurellian, Jax. I'm not that strong."
"Sarai, you are that strong," he whispered, lifting his hand and wiping away one of her tears with his thumb. "Don't you understand? You may not have been born a Saurellian, but you are definitely a daughter of the Goddess. I don't want to control you. I want to be your lifemate, your partner. What makes you happy makes me happy. We belong together, and what Calvin did to you has nothing to do with us. He's dead. He can't hurt you, and I won't.
You're safe now. You've made it."
She sniffed, and smiled at him tremulously.
"I did, didn't I?" she whispered. "Jax, I don't feel very strong. I don't know this Goddess of yours very well, but I could use some of that strength you talk about."
"It's there, Sarai," he said. Unable to help himself, he leaned his head down and kissed her softly on the lips. Her head fell back and her eyes closed, then she was opening to him.
He deepened the kiss, exploring her depths and trying to control himself. He wanted her so badly he thought he might explode, but somehow he managed to keep himself from simply rolling her over and taking her. Finally, shaking from the effort, he pulled away.
"Sarai, will you be my lifemate?" he asked softly, searching her face. She froze for a minute, as if waging some battle within herself, then she spoke.
"I'll be your mate, but on my terms. I don't promise to do as you tell me, and if I ever feel like I need to leave you, I will."
"That's good enough for me," he said, smiling. She looked up at him in surprise.
"So I can leave you any time I want?" she asked.
"If I'm doing my job as a lifemate, you won't want to leave me," he replied quietly. She sniffed, then gave him a coy smile.
"Well, then I guess you'd better keep me happy," she said tartly.
"That's my girl," he said, abruptly rolling her over into the sand and covering her with his body. She was trapped beneath, a startled look on her face. He kissed her, and her arms came around him. She pulled him close, kissing him back. Then her legs were wrapped around his body, and she was writhing against him. He groaned, pressing his cock against her softness.
"It's been too long," he muttered, pulling his head back. She laughed up at him.
"Silly, it's been less than a day," she replied.
"Too long," he repeated, covering her again. He thought he was going to explode from the exquisite pressure of her body pressing up against his. Her hips moved rhythmically, and he groaned. He had to get inside her. If he didn't, he was going to die.
Her other leg came up, and they both clutched his waist. The soft opening between her legs cradled him, and without thinking he thrust against her. But his briefs and her shift blocked his motion, and he groaned in frustration.
"I hate this damn thing," he said, raising his body and pulling her shift up. "Sarai, I'm getting you all new clothing. I never want to see this thing again. It's caused me too much frustration over the past weeks."
She laughed up at him, then reached down to work on his briefs.
"And what about these?" she asked archly. "They seem to be in my way right now. Do I get to throw them away, too?"
"Yes," Jax replied with a grin. "I'll never wear clothing again. We'll just live naked in your bed, happily ever after."
Then her shift was up around her waist, and his briefs were down around his knees.
With a sigh, he reached down to position himself against her. She wrapped her arms around his neck again, pulling him down into her softness. The feel of her hot, moist flesh closing around him was almost more than he could take, and after his initial thrust he stopped for a moment. He rested his forehead against hers, breathing deeply and trying to control himself.
She squirmed against him, kneading him with her inner muscles and pulling him down into her body with her legs. He kissed her, then started moving slowly.
Neither spoke as he thrust into her, his strokes hard and steady. There was a purpose, a tension in their mating that he had never felt before. Almost as if the Goddess herself was there, blessing their union. Even if Sarai wasn't ready to fully admit what was happening between them, he knew they would never be separate again. No matter how far they might be physically, they would always share this connection.
Lifemate.
He kissed her again, deeply. He wanted to mark her as his, make her realize that she would never feel another man's lips again, that his body would be hers for the rest of his life. He thrust harder, and she moaned into his mouth. He took the sound deep within, reveling in it.
Her legs gripped him tightly, and he could feel her body stiffening as she approached her climax. He was close to coming himself, but held back. When they went, they would go together. He wanted to feel her exploding around his cock, to shoot his seed into her body and claim her.
Her nails were digging into his back now, scraping against him and leaving trails of fire in their wake. The slight pain helped him focus. Down, back. Again. Harder. He twisted his hips, deliberately scraping the length of his arousal against her most sensitive spot. She convulsed in response, and he grunted with satisfaction. She needed him every bit as much as he needed her.
He started moving faster, close to the end of his strength. It was time to push her over the edge. He thrust deeper, harder, again and again. She whimpered, and every muscle in her body stiffened. Her face was twisted with the intensity of her feelings, and she whimpered.
Then she exploded around him, clenching him hard inside and out. He stifled her moaning noises with his mouth, taking them inside and allowing her pleasure to wash through his body. Then he slammed down hard into her and exploded himself, pinning her against the sand with his hard cock and emptying his seed into her body. As the joy and release of his orgasm swept through him, he marveled at the gift he'd been given. This woman was his, and she would be for the rest of his life. He collapsed beside her, and together they gasped for breath.