She could see in his eyes that he knew her impulse to violence was there. That did not stop him from reaching higher to tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear, stroking along the delicate shell of flesh. He touched her as he had earlier, as if he thought she was exquisite beyond all words, his expression calm, un-afraid. It bewildered her. Why would he do such a thing? Why did his touch cause her to feel such a dark violent pain?
Why was her other hand still resting in his?
“I do not think you are a very sensible man,” she murmured.
“No doubt you are correct,” he replied. “And I am still here because I have to ask you a question. Why do you have a dog?”
“Rhoswen has asked me that many times,” she said. “I don’t know why. He was hurt badly when we found him. He was down to almost half his body weight, so the vet thought he had been a stray for a while, and then he had been hit by a car. Even though he is so tiny, he has a ferocious spark of a spirit. He was broken all over and he just wouldn’t die.” She shrugged. “And I brought him home.”
Rune’s gaze was too keen as he inspected her face. What did he think he saw in her? “And now you cook him chicken,” he said.
“He’s so happy to eat,” she said. She looked down. Her hand was still in Rune’s. He was rubbing her healed fingers with his thumb. “Dancing fit-to-be-tied happy.”
“I must say, he’s got a point there,” said Rune with a lopsided smile.
“I’ve been trying to remember what it’s like to be hungry,” Carling said. “I cook the chicken, and I smell it and l say to myself, this is food.” She whispered, “I think I’m trying to remember what it is like to be alive before I die.”
Her words ghosted through the silence in the room.
Rune was still crouching at her feet like a great lion. His presence was more intense than a fire’s. He had not only warmed her through, she felt nourished and revitalized. He raised her fingers to his lips and kissed them. “I would far rather try to find a way to keep you alive before you die,” he said.
She stirred. “Rune,” she said.
His fierce gaze captured and held hers. “You threw away that favor I owed you.”
“I did worse than that,” she said. She touched his cheek with a finger. “And I may do worse again.”
He rolled his eyes. What a remarkably handsome man he was. “So what,” he said. “I kissed you and you slapped me. What an utter heroine you are.”
“You have got to be joking,” she said.
“Utter. Heroine.”
She leaned forward, so she could better stare him down. “You wear the most god-awful clothes. Look at you, with your jeans torn out at the knees. Who would want to wear a T-shirt like that, with a hairy man in spectacles on it? It’s ridiculous.”
“Don’t be knocking my Jerry Garcia threads,” Rune said. His strong-boned features were creased in a sharp, catlike smile. “You’re one to talk, the way you run around in those Egyptian caftans without a single stitch of clothing on underneath. Lady, I’ve been watching you and I can tell.”
“You’ve been watching me ever since I walked out of the river,” she whispered. “I could tell.”
“I haven’t been able to look away,” he whispered back, “because you are stunning. In fact, you can go ahead and slap me again if you want. Let’s get it over with, because I think I’m going to have to kiss you again, and it is so fucking worth it.”
The desire was back. It roared out of him, or out of her. She wasn’t sure, she couldn’t tell. He leaned forward, and she sat back sharply and put a restraining hand against the hard broad muscles of his chest. “Rune,” she said again, her voice cold and clear. “Stop.”
His eyes narrowed. “Why? You were totally with me in that kiss.”
“And you’re a fool.” She shoved him hard. It sent him sprawling back several feet, in the full spill of the morning sunshine. He propped himself back on his hands and looked at her in assessment, a great powerful beauty of a man, with rich suntanned skin stretched over a long, sinuous gracefully muscled body. It hurt to look at him.
She stood and stepped right up to the edge of the sunshine, and his lazy smile vanished. He sprang to his feet faster than she had ever seen him move, and he put his body between her and the sunlight.
“Look at us,” she said. Her face and eyes were hard. She gestured at them both, at him standing bathed in the light and her in the shadow. “This is why. And one of us is dying.”
“I take it back,” Rune said. “You’re not an utter heroine. You’re a drama queen.” He smacked her in the shoulders with the flat of his hands and knocked her back a step. She stared at him in shock as he stepped from the sunlight into the shadow. “Well, would you look at that. It’s a perfectly permeable line. You can cross it too when you’ve got yourself shielded.”
“How dare you?” she hissed.
“People always forget I have this side to me. I don’t know why. You might be surprised at what I would dare,” Rune said. He advanced on her, his expression blazing. “What did you think? Were you just going to sit out here on your lonesome island and pass away?”
He looked furious, magnificent. The sight of him clawed at her. She blurred with her deadly speed and struck at him, and she was shocked anew as he knocked the blow away. Holy gods, he was fast.
“I’ve got news for you, princess,” he snarled. “It’s time for you to wake the fuck up and do something about saving your own life.”
“Do you think I have not tried?” she shouted. Rage blinded her. She struck at him again, and this time managed to hit him in the chest. “You impudent son of a bitch. I have been researching this for almost two centuries. I have dosed myself with my own healing potions, and they’ve worked for a while but now they don’t. I don’t know WHAT ELSE TO DO.”
She spun away and drove herself forward, wild to get away from him.
He sucked in a breath and lunged to snatch her against his chest.
She froze as she realized what she had done. She had almost plunged unshielded into the full light of day.
She stared at the line she had nearly crossed. Rune wrapped his arms around her from behind and held her so tight she felt his heartbeat thudding against the skin between her shoulder blades. They were both breathing heavily.
“That was remarkably idiotic of me,” she said. She had to clear her throat before she could get the words out. “Thankfully I am not often this stupid or I wouldn’t have survived for so long.”
She recast the shield spell and Power shimmered over her skin.
He must have felt her cast the spell, but he made no move to let her go. Instead he laid his head on her shoulder.
He said in her hair, “I still owe you a favor.”
She sighed. “You don’t owe me a thing,” she said. “You are perfectly free, as nature intended you to be.”
“Then forget about the damn favor,” said Rune. “I’m still going to stay. We’re going to find a way to make this better, because Carling, I am not ready for you to go gentle into that good night.”
She held herself tense as she considered his words. Could she summon the energy and interest to live when she had grown accustomed to the thought of dying? What could Rune do that she hadn’t already done? She was a sorceress at the top of her game, but no matter how old or accomplished she was, he was still a creature that was far older. He might well know of things or think of options she hadn’t tried.
The tension flowed out of her body, and she rested back against him in tacit acceptance.
“I have not gone gently anywhere,” Carling said as she turned her head to put her cheek against his. “I don’t know why death should be any different.”