She shook her head, but there was something anguished about it. “This isn’t as easy for everybody else as it is for you. Girls, we—” She cut herself off.
“What?” He gave her a second to finish her thought, but when she didn’t he could guess where she was going with it. “What? You don’t want to seem easy? Or like you know what you’re doing? Well, let me assure you.” He dragged his hands all the way up her body again, over her breasts and then down to hover once again above her cunt. “There is nothing sexier than a woman who knows what she wants. Nothing.”
“But—” The words sounded choked. “I can’t.”
Couldn’t what? Talk about it?
And then it occurred to him—the most brilliant idea he’d ever had. His cock throbbed at the thought of it. He moved his right hand to put it on top of hers. Lifted them both and brought them to her thigh.
His throat bobbed. “Can you show me?”
Kate felt all the blood drain from her face.
She was so tangled up—on a knife’s edge of arousal, confused and mortified, and he was challenging her in all these different ways. In her head, she knew she should be fine with this. A woman should stand up for herself, should stick up for herself in bed and anywhere else.
And deep down below that, she was a writhing mass of insecurities and shame. She didn’t want to have to ask for things. Asking meant opening yourself up to being told no, to being told you weren’t good enough, didn’t deserve it.
God, there was that voice in her head again. The one that had haunted her all her life.
Only Rylan spoke over it, drowning it out. He pressed her hand closer to the center of her need. “I want you to show me what you like.”
He chased away one kind of doubt, leaving her with just the one.
She didn’t know how to let him see her like this.
“But—” She curled her fingers into her palm, resisting. “You know how to—” How to make me come.
He’d done it last night. Why was he putting her through this?
“Yeah, I do. And I could do it right now, but I’d rather do this.”
“Why?”
“Why?” He skated his other hand down her thigh. “Because it turns me on. Because I still have things to learn for the next time I eat your pussy out.” He exhaled, breath hot against her ear. “Because I want you to be able to do this for the next man you meet who wouldn’t know his way to a woman’s clit if he had a map.”
Of course. She was only here for a handful of days, and then she’d never see him again. She’d known that from the very start, had actually seen it as a positive. As an excuse to let go. And yet to hear him put it so plainly took her breath away, a sharp sudden pang.
She pushed the thought away, but it wouldn’t loosen its hold. No matter how little time they had together, right now he was here. With her.
And she wanted nothing more than to be closer.
“Can we . . .” She twisted, craning her neck to look at him. He gripped her hip, as if trying to stop her—as if he thought she were trying to escape. “The towel,” she said. Trying to explain.
If she could feel the heat of his skin, maybe it would ground her. Keep her in the moment, this tiny pocket of time when it was just him and her.
“Of course.”
She gulped. “And your boxers?”
“You sure?” he asked after a brief pause.
She considered it. Yeah, she was certain. “Yes.”
“All right.”
She sat up and away from his body long enough for them to get the towel out of the way, and for him to tug his underwear off. When he pulled her back against him, into the cradle of his thighs, all she could feel was warm, firm flesh beneath her, and it made her pulse hotter. The wiry hair of his legs and chest tickled her. And the smooth, silky line of him, bare and damp against her spine lit her up from the inside.
“Fuck,” he said, a low breath against her ear as she settled against him. “Someday . . .”
Her breath caught. “Someday what?”
“Someday,” he continued, grasping her wrist, curling her fingers and bringing them, this time, unerringly to her sex. “When you’re ready . . .”
The first brush of her own hand against her folds was electric. God, she was soaked, and it was such a relief to finally get some pressure there, where she was slick and hot and aching.
Still, something deep inside of her told her this was wrong. She tried to pull her hand away, but he gripped her palm, and when she didn’t delve any deeper into her pleasure, he took the initiative. Fingertips covering hers, he slid them around in the liquid, sending a low, rolling wave of pleasure up her spine.
With his other hand, he cupped her breast, teasing at the peak, and she gasped. She’d never known her nipples were so sensitive, but he’d spent so much time working them up before. There was a rawness to the sensation now as he twisted and squeezed. The scrape of a nail across the tip had her shifting her own hand against her sex, needing something, anything to push against her clit.
“That’s right, beautiful.” His voice dropped a level as he praised her, and that made a whole fresh wave of need surge through her.
God. What was she doing?
Unable to take it anymore, she let out a sound that was half a sob as she started touching herself in earnest. It felt good—it felt amazing.
And then he was talking. “Someday,” he resumed, still caging her hand against her sex, still pulling sparks of desire from her breast, “when you’re ready, I’m going to strip you down, just like this. Open you up and put your legs over my shoulders. I’m going to lick you out for hours.”
Damn. Oh, damn. She rubbed harder at her clit, losing herself in it.
“But I’m not gonna give you my fingers. Not gonna give you anything to fill that ache inside. Leave you all empty and coming around nothing until you’re dying for it. Do you want that? Do you feel how bad you want to be filled up?”
She did. It was a hollow deep inside, and she didn’t want to come like this, no matter how close she was.
“Yeah,” she groaned.
“Don’t you want something in that pretty little pussy while I lick you?”
“Yes.” So badly. She pressed harder, fingers working furiously against herself even as she shied away from the abyss that was yawning at her feet.
His hand dropped from her breast, and all she could hear was the slick sounds of her body, embarrassing, horrible, but it felt too good. She couldn’t stop.
Not even when he took her other hand in his. Wrapped it around something long and cool and smooth.
“What—” She snapped her eyes open to see the glass toy they’d purchased there inside her grasp.
Another new level of mortification rose up, choking her, but it didn’t matter. She wanted it. Wanted him to make her feel like this.
“Come on,” he urged. “It’s gonna feel so good. It’s gonna look so good. Don’t you know how pretty this is going to be inside of you?” At her shaky exhale, his voice deepened further. “Can’t you feel how hard I am, just thinking about filling you up?”
Her focus shifted in an instant, forgetting the toy and the thrumming need in her own sex, because, God, yes, he was. His cock pressed into her back, unyielding in its desire. Long and thick, and she could have that. Inside her. All she had to do was ask him for it.
She bit off a curse, not even resisting when he curled his fingers more firmly around hers, solidifying her grip on the glass. Bringing it down to that sweltering need between her legs. And he was the one to press it just between her lips.
Making her. He was making her do this, even though she was willing, and that idea lit a match of need so hot it burned.
Fingers twitching, she helped him aim it, getting it directed into place.