But my brain won’t release itself, won’t step away from the bomb that was just dropped in my lap. Stewart. My older brother. Fucking Madd. Touching her skin, holding her body, kissing her mouth. My brother. He is the one who has the other half of her heart. He is the one that I share her with. He is the one who dictated a second boyfriend; he is the one too busy to fully occupy her bed, her time.
Stewart.
My brother.
The one who beat up Noah Richardson when I was eleven because Noah wouldn’t stop bullying me. The one who coached me through asking Nicki Farrahs out when I was too chicken. The one who explained sex and going down on a girl and who bought me my first box of condoms. The one who punched me in the face and blames me for causing our little sister’s death. The one who told me never to step within a mile of him ever again. The one who wouldn’t return my calls for five years, until I finally gave up and stepped away from the tattered remains of our family.
Stewart is Him. Stewart is Lover.
The phone rings in my hand and I see his moniker pop up on the screen. Before I can second-guess the action, I walk over and hand it to the ER receptionist. “Please explain to them about Madison Decater,” I request softly.
The woman shoots me a questioning look and then glances at the phone and flips it open. “Venice Regional ER,” she says into the phone.
I walk back to the chair and watch her face, watch her lips as they mouth words I can only guess at. Wonder who is on the other end. If it is Stewart or the cheerful female. And wonder what I will do when he walks through these doors. And if she will still be alive when he does.
STEWART
We are in the middle of a deposition when there is a knock on the door and Ashley steps in. I look up with a warning look, one that softens instantly when I see her face. I hold up a finger, pausing our attorney, the transcriber looking up in surprise when the room falls silent.
She moves quickly to my side and leans forward, her lips close to my ear. “It’s Madison. There’s been an accident.”
I close my eyes, unprepared for the words. Not again. Not after Jennifer. I slide back my chair, standing, and meet the attorney’s eyes. “I have personal business to attend to. We will need to reschedule.”
“Personal business?” the man stammers. “Stewart, it took a month to coordinate this.”
I ignore him, following Ashley out of the room, my hand on her back, pulling her into my office and shutting the door. “Tell me. Everything.”
She shakes before me, her voice trembling, all traces of cheer and professionalism drained from her body. “A man called, from her phone. He wanted you, but hung up when I told him you were busy. It seemed odd... so I called back to get his name, a message, something. A woman answered, someone from the hospital. She said that Madison was in a surfing accident and is on life support. That she might not make it through the night. That any close family and friends should come now.” Tears well in her eyes and she steps forward, touching my arm. “I’m so sorry, Stewart.”
I brush off her touch. “Where is my phone?”
She thrusts it out, and I grab it, trying to walk through a logical thought process, my mind heavy with thoughts. “Have a driver meet me out front.”
“Done. I called them before I stepped in. They have the hospital address, and I have given the hospital your information.”
I nod. “Also give them my card information. Any medical expenses charged to me. I don’t want any treatment or options unexplored due to cost. Make sure they understand that.”
She nods quickly, tears leaking from the corner of her eyes. She knows Madison well, has lunched with her countless times, chats with her in the reception area when my meetings run over. Picked out her birthday, anniversary, and Valentine’s Day gifts for the last two and a half years. I nod to her and open the door.
We make the half-hour drive in fifteen minutes, my frustration at not having my car disappearing as soon as the driver made the first hairpin turn at forty-five miles per hour. He understands my urgency and has a better handle on his emotions. I cradle my head in my hands, visions of Madison assaulting me from all directions.
Her head on my pillow, a drugged smile on her lips when I kiss her goodbye in the morning.
The image of her in my t-shirt, walking barefoot through my hall, nothing underneath but skin.
The push of her hands on my chest, small but firm, her ability to weaken my resolve with one saucy smile.
I should have set aside my work, should have cancelled meetings, planned vacations, made half the money and had twice the time with her. I should have taken her to dinner each night, been there for each birthday and holiday, met her mother, kissed her over breakfast, told her more of how I felt. If she is gone... if I don’t have a chance to say goodbye... she will never know how I really feel. How I cherish her.
I’m an idiot.
The car pulls up to glass doors and I open the door, and steel myself for the possibilities that await me.
She will be okay. She will live. I can make changes to my life and make her mine. Marry her. Rebuild my life the way it should be, with her front and center.
I step out of the car and move toward the glass doors of the hospital.
PAUL
Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
Exhale.
I hear her breaths and hope that she is making them, hope that if this machine was to be turned off, that the controlled sounds of life would continue. I listen to the beep of her heart rate and watch the numbers on the screen, numbers that mean nothing to me.
I touch her hand softly, running my fingers over the top of it; its cool surface scaring the hell out of me. I hold it in my hands, the fingers limp and unresponsive.
“There is brain activity.” The words come from behind me and I turn to see a young male nurse, outfitted in green scrubs. He smiles. “Something came across the monitors a few minutes ago. It’s a good sign.”
“So she’ll be okay?”
His grin falters. “No. I didn’t mean that. But with her condition... we didn’t expect any brain activity. We are still a long way from stability.”
I nod and turn back to her. Squeeze her hand. There is nothing more heartbreaking than a limp hand. No life. No response. I lean over and place a soft kiss on a bit of exposed skin on her cheek—tubes and masks preventing any real connection.
I hear a commotion, raised voices, and the squeak of shoes on floor, and I know, without turning, Stewart is here. My hand tightens, without thought, on hers.
OVER THE FALLS: [prepositional phrase]
Getting pitched head-first and slammed by the lip of a crashing wave.
STEWART
The woman before me is infuriating. She blinks at me, gray hair covering half of her brown eyes, and purses her lips. “Only close friends and immediate family may go in. She is in ICU and already has one visitor.”
“I’m her boyfriend. Stewart Brand. My assistant should have called, you spoke with her earlier.”
“Her boyfriend is already in there. So unless we have a love triangle going on, I need to speak with him first. He’s the one who brought her in, he’s the one who has her identification.”