“Just how many merits below zero are you?”
“Around a hundred, I think,” he said with a laugh, “but deMauve said he’d give me five if I showed you around—and as long as I didn’t inveigle you into any Tommo-inspired devilry.”
“I’m relieved to hear it.”
“Don’t be. Tommo devilry is of the very highest quality. Do you want to sell your Open Return?”
“With what would you buy it?”
“Don’t get me wrong,” he said, “it’s only book merits I’m short of. Cash is a different bird entirely.”
It meant he’d been working the Beigemarket. But if his cash merits were unofficially earned, they wouldn’t help him when it came to Reboot. He could be richer than Josiah Oxblood, but it wouldn’t matter. You couldn’t take cash to Reboot, either—just a spoon. A good one usually, and sometimes two. It was said the remedial teachers liked to exchange them for privileges.
“I couldn’t sell it to you even if I wanted to. I gave it to deMauve for safekeeping.”
“That’s bad.”
“It is?”
“Certainly. DeMauve bargains hard. I’d probably have to pay him twice what I’d pay you.”
“You’re kidding me?”
“Yes, of course I’m kidding you,” he said in the manner of someone who probably wasn’t. “Come and have a look at what living color we do have.”
We walked on toward the eastern end of the town square, where there was a sunken garden. About the size of a tennis court, it was enclosed by a low wall that was just the right height for a seat. It was East Carmine’s one and only color garden, and it was drab—the grass was a dark shade of green, and the flowers were all in muted versions of blue and yellow. The garden would be run on large toothpaste-tube-shaped pigment refills. Worse, they would be using the outdated Red-Blue-Yellow Color Model, which gave a miserably poor choice of hues.
“The red cartridge ran out last week,” said Tommo. “We expect the yellow to dry out any day now, and you know what that means.”
“Right,” I said, seeing the problem instantly. “Blue grass. That’s rotten—no village should be without a color garden.”
“We’ll still have Mrs. Gamboge’s,” he said with a sneer. “She spends all her bonuses on nothing else.
Even has a gardener employed full-time to tint by hand.”
“With the labor shortage as it is?”
“It’s not against the Rules. What do you think of that door?”
We were walking past the Prime Residences on the sunny side of the square. The door that Tommo had indicated was painted univisual red, so everyone knew that it was the home of the village Red prefect.
The artificial hue made the door almost obscenely bright; all detail and texture were obliterated by an overpowering color that was so strong it cross-fired into my other senses. I could smell burned hair, my ears started ringing and an odd jumble of memories popped into my head. Of my mother, a long-dead family pet and a performance of South Pacific I’d seen once.
“Fairly bright,” I said, understanding what he was up to in an instant. He was trying to gauge my red perception.
“Hmm,” said Tommo, “not painfully so, then? Any . . . tinnitus or memory sweeps? Visions of Repaint Your Wagon, for example?”
“Not really. How about you?”
“More shades of Seven Brides for Seven Colors, really—and Chuckles, our pet badger.”
If that was true, he was almost as receptive as me. But from what I knew already of Tommo, bragging up his perception would be pretty much standard operating procedure—and everyone knew an oversaturation of one’s own color fired off memories of musicals and family pets.
We walked on. Within a dozen paces we found ourselves outside a large building with LIBRARY written on the front.
“Is that the library?” I asked.
“Your deductive powers are quite extraordinary.”
“I need to look something up,” I said, ignoring the sarcasm.
“You go ahead,” he replied, “but it’s not for me. If I wanted to go and look at empty shelves, I’d prefer the supermarket. It smells better, and you don’t get pestered.”
The unLibrary
Imaginative thought is to be discouraged. No good ever comes of it—don’t.
I pushed open the doors and walked inside. The library was large and open-plan, with a circular void in the upper floor from where light descended vertically. Dotted around were tables and chairs, and a few mirrors on stands, useful for directing light to study. Or at least, it would have been, had there been any books to look at. As Tommo had already mentioned, the shelves were pretty much empty, and what books remained were so read-worn front and back that barely the middle chapters remained. Reading a book these days was a bit like learning what someone was doing, but never knowing how they got to be there or how it eventually turned out. It hadn’t always been like this. Successive Leapbacks had stripped the shelves of science, history, biography, geography, cookery, self-help, poetry, art—and now fiction, genre by genre. There were still books other than the strongly encouraged Very Racy Novels, but they were so few and far between that they were always either being borrowed, in transit or worn out. Not here in the library, anyway.
“Can we help you?” came several hushed voices in unison and I jumped, for seven Blues had all crept silently up behind me and were now peering at me with expressions of wonder. The Rules had decreed that books be part of the successive Great Leap Backward, but due to a poorly drafted Leapback directive, staffing levels had remained unchanged and would remain so forever. The chief librarian was a tall and imperious-looking woman who was covered head to toe in bright synthetic blue and had a large quantity of jewelry draped about her neck and a tiara perched precariously on a large shock of bouffant white hair. She had drawn circles around her eyes, which were joined by a line across the bridge of her nose. It was the traditional mark of her calling, but no one knew why.
“I am Mrs. Lapis Lazuli,” she announced in a voice that sounded like rusty wire under tension. “You must be the new swatchman’s son. You’re here to count chairs, I understand?”
“Among other things.”
“Hmm. I heard you fell for the Widow deMauve’s cherry cake scam. Watch out for that conniving old hag. The sooner she’s carried off by the Mildew, the better. Do you have a name?”
“Edward,” I said, meek beneath her baleful stare. “I was actually after the reference section.”
“Not fiction, then?” she asked in a hopeful tone of voice.
I waved an arm in the direction of the empty shelves.
“With the greatest of respect, ma’am, I think I’m about three centuries too late.”
“Nonsense. I shall give you a personal guided tour. Visitors to the library are almost as rare as books.
Indeed, the librarians here outnumber the books seven to one—if you don’t count Reference, those frightful Racy Novels or the Collected Thoughts of Munsell.”
She guided me to the first of the empty shelves, while her assistant librarians all followed close behind.
“I am ninth-generation librarian here in East Carmine,” she announced grandly. “Certain information has descended down the years, even if the books have not.”
She pointed to a shelf, and I could see that carefully arranged in a row were the much-faded bar codes that had once been affixed upon the departed spines. She tapped a shelf.