“No,” I agreed.
“How old is this girl you were talking about?”
“A little younger than her brother. That’s Pagiel—the one you just saw.” I didn’t bother correcting for the rate at which gentry aged compared to humans. Roland would understand.
“There’s a dirty feel to all of it,” said Roland. He scowled. “Attacking pregnant women, attacking children. I wish you weren’t involved in any of it.”
We passed through the gates, back toward the lush grounds that had held the wedding. Two guards silently detached from a group near the door and followed me, keeping that respectful distance they excelled at.
“That makes two of us,” I said. “Unfortunately, I’m not just involved—I’m at the heart of it.”
I led us out to a cluster of hazel trees and settled down there on the grass. Roland looked surprised at the choice but quickly joined me. The guards, assessing the situation, chose sentry spots that maintained my privacy but would allow them quick access should a bunch of monkey assassins sent by Maiwenn leap down from the trees. Satisfied the guards were out of earshot, I leaned close to Roland and pitched my voice low, just to be safe. As my hands rested on the sun-warmed grass, I felt the Rowan Land sing to me, happy and content.
“I hate to admit it, but Dorian’s right about a couple of things. It seems crazy, but this could become a regular tactic of Maiwenn’s. And he’s also right that me jumping between kingdoms and worlds just exposes me to further attacks.” I tipped my head back, taking in the scent of honeysuckle. I couldn’t see it from where I sat, but my senses were always attuned to the land’s various stimuli. “I was recently approached by an ambassador from a far-off kingdom, who invited me to come hide out with them. They promised security. Their argument was that I’d be away from my enemies’ lands and could avoid all the crisscrossing if I just stayed in seclusion within their borders.”
Roland’s gray eyebrows rose. “And you’re thinking of doing that?”
“No,” I said. “Certainly not with them, at least. I was thinking ... I was thinking that maybe the place where I really need to hide and stay put is in the human world.” The full weight of it didn’t really hit me until I spoke those words. From Roland’s expression, I could tell that he understood what a huge thing this was that I was suggesting.
“So not in Tucson,” he said, after several thoughtful moments.
“Not in Tucson,” I agreed, not entirely able to hide my regret over that. “It’d be the first place they’d look. But I have to assume that somewhere, in all the safe places you’ve come up with for medical care ... well, somewhere there must be a place where I could hide and live a ‘normal’ life until the twins are born.”
He nodded slowly. “I can think of a couple of places, but if you did this ... I mean, don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing I’d like better than to get you out of this cursed place. But do you know what you’re truly asking? If you want to hide out back in our world, then you can’t do anything that would risk detection. You can’t use your gentry magic. You can’t even use your shamanic magic. Any of that could alert some Otherworldly creature wandering our world.”
“I know that,” I said. That hollow feeling within me intensified.
A faint smile lit his features. “I know you do—in theory. What I worry about is that you’re going to stumble across some poor person being tormented by a ghost and do a banishing without thinking twice. It’s not easy for you to stand by while others suffer.” He gestured around us. “Case in point.”
I stared off, knowing he was right. Could I do what I was proposing? Without me realizing it, my hand had moved protectively to my stomach. I could do it for them, I decided. I could do it for all the innocents in Dorian’s kingdom and my own. Better to ignore a haunting, I thought, than to allow others to die for a prophecy that probably wasn’t even real.
I took a deep breath. “I understand. I’ll do it—or rather, not do anything.”
Roland studied me for a few more seconds and seemed satisfied with what he saw. “What about all of this? Don’t you need to have some kind of regular bonding with this place ... and the other one?”
“I do,” I said. “And that’s probably going to be the trickiest part here. Jasmine can do a few quick fixes to tide the land over. I don’t know how long the land will accept her, though. If it can’t ... then, well, I’ll have to come back or else I’ll have caused suffering of a different type. The land will wither otherwise. But, if she and the land can manage it until the end of my pregnancy, I’ll just be the only one who suffers. Being away from the land affects me too.”
“I don’t like the sound of that,” he said darkly.
I smiled. “Don’t worry. It’s nothing physical or dangerous. . . just an intense longing. Like caffeine withdrawal.”
He didn’t look convinced. “I doubt it’s that simple.”
“Maybe not,” I agreed. “But what about the rest? You said you’ve got a few places in mind that I could go?”
“I do, though I’ll need to make some queries first.” In a rare show of affection, he rested his hand on mine. “I wish I could just take you home with me. I’d feel better if you were always in my sight.”
I squeezed his hand back. “Even you couldn’t take on a gentry army knocking on your door. And we can’t risk Mom.” I didn’t add that if this plan worked out, Roland couldn’t see me at all. Wherever I ended up hiding, I’d have to stay there with no connection to my loved ones. Roland and my mother would undoubtedly be watched. Meeting his blue eyes, I knew he’d already thought of this. He didn’t like it, but he’d agree to it.
After a bit more discussion, Roland was ready to leave and begin his search. That was his way. If there was a problem to be solved, he didn’t want to delay. He wanted to get right on it and take care of business. Now that we’d reached this decision, he was anxious to get me out of the Otherworld and into safety. Once he left, it was time for me to begin my own preparations, starting with the most important piece—Jasmine.
I found her in a nearby rose garden, curled up on a bench with some magazines she’d procured from a recent trip to the human world. After first swearing her to secrecy, I explained the plan Roland and I had concocted. Her reaction wasn’t what I’d expected.
“Take me with you,” she said immediately.
“I can’t,” I said. “That’s the whole point. I need you here. You’re the only person who can cover for me.”
“I’m the only one who can really protect you out there,” she insisted. After a moment, she made a small concession. “Well, maybe Pagiel too.”
I had to work hard to keep my face serious. It was almost cute how she was convinced that out of all the powerful gentry around here, many capable of miraculous feats, only two teenagers could adequately watch over me.
“He can’t come. No one I know can, that’s the point. I can’t even tell anyone where I’m going.”
“That’s bullshit,” she said. The profanity was an amusing contrast to her otherwise ladylike appearance, complete with a flowing ivory gown and flower-bedecked hair. “How will we know you’re okay?”
“You won’t, but if we can maintain obscurity and anonymity, you can be ninety-nine percent sure I’m fine.”
She didn’t like that. She didn’t like any of that. Seeing how fiercely she wanted to protect me, I marveled at how Dorian continually worried about her wanting to steal power from me. If that had been her intent, you’d think she would jump at the chance to become the lands’ caretaker. Instead, she made it passionately clear she only wanted to be by my side.
But finally, after hashing out the same points I’d just made with Roland and Dorian, I was able to convince her. I think the attack on Ansonia helped her accept the decision a little more easily. In growing close to Pagiel, Jasmine had gotten to know his sister as well. Jasmine was as outraged as the rest of us over the attack and didn’t want to see any repeats.