"It's a little scary," she mused. "Thinking about being on my own. But you'll be with me. And Dimitri too." She sighed. "I can't imagine not having you around. I can't even really remember when you weren't around."
I sat up and gave her a light punch in her arm. "Hey, be careful. You're going to make Christian jealous. Oh crap. I suppose he's going to be around too, huh? No matter where we end up going?"
"Probably. You, me, him, Dimitri, and any guardians Christian gets. One big happy family."
I scoffed, but inside of me, there was a warm fuzzy feeling building. Things were crazy in our world right now, but I had all these great people in my life. As long as we were all together, everything would be okay.
She looked at the clock, and her fear returned. "I've gotta go. Will you … will you go with me?"
"You know I can't."
"I know… not in body… but like, will you do that thing? Where you're watching in my head? It'll make me feel like I'm not alone."
It was the first time Lissa had ever asked me to purposely do that. Normally, she hated the thought of me seeing through her eyes. It was a sign of how nervous she really was.
"Sure," I said. "It's probably better than anything on TV anyway."
I returned to my own room, taking up an identical position on the couch. Clearing my thoughts, I opened myself up to Lissa's mind, going beyond simply knowing her feelings. It was something the shadow-kissed bond allowed me to do and was the most intense part of our connection. It wasn't just feeling her thoughts—it was actually being inside of her, looking through her eyes and sharing her experiences. I'd learned to control it only recently. I used to slip in without wanting to, much as I sometimes couldn't keep her feelings out. I could control my out-of-body experiences now and even summon up the phenomenon at will—just like I was about to do.
Lissa had just reached the parlor the queen was waiting in. Moroi might use terms like «royal» and even kneel sometimes, but there were no thrones or anything like that here. Tatiana sat in an ordinary armchair, dressed in a navy blue skirt and blazer, looking more like a corporate businesswoman than any sort of monarch. She wasn't alone, either. A tall, stately Moroi whose blond hair was laced with silver sat near her. I recognized her: Priscilla Voda, the queen's friend and adviser. We'd met her on the ski trip, and she'd been impressed with Lissa. I took her presence as a good sign. Silent guardians, dressed in black and white, stood along the wall. To my astonishment,Adrian was there too. He reclined on a small love seat, seeming completely oblivious to the fact that he was hanging out with the Moroi's ultimate leader. The guardian with Lissa announced her.
"Princess Vasilisa Dragomir."
Tatiana nodded in acknowledgment. "Welcome, Vasilisa. Please sit down."
Lissa sat down near Adrian, her apprehension growing by leaps and bounds. A Moroi servant came by and offered tea or coffee, but Lissa declined. Tatiana meanwhile sipped from a teacup and scrutinized Lissa from head to toe. Priscilla Voda broke the awkward silence.
"Remember what I said about her?" Priscilla asked cheerfully. "She was very impressive at our state dinner in Idaho. Settled a huge spat over Moroi fighting with guardians. She even managed to calm Adrian's father down."
A frosty smile crossed Tatiana's cold features. "That is impressive. Half the time, I still feel like Nathan is twelve years old."
"Me too," said Adrian, drinking from a wine glass.
Tatiana ignored him and again focused on Lissa. "Everyone seems impressed with you, really. I hear nothing but good things about you, in spite of your past transgressions … which I'm given to understand weren't entirely without their reasons." Lissa's look of surprise actually made the queen laugh. There wasn't much warmth or humor in the laugh, though. "Yes, yes … I know all about your powers, and of course I know what happened with Victor. Adrian's been filling me in about spirit as well. It's so strange. Tell me … can you…" She glanced to a nearby table. A flowerpot sat on it, dark green shoots sticking through the soil. It was some kind of bulb-based plant that someone was growing indoors. Like its outside counterparts, it was waiting for spring.
Lissa hesitated. Using her powers in front of others was a strange thing for her. But, Tatiana was watching expectantly. After only a few moments more, Lissa leaned over and touched the shoots. The stems shot up through the dirt, growing taller—almost a foot high. Huge pods formed along the sides as it grew, bursting open to reveal fragrant white flowers. Easter lilies. Lissa withdrew her hand.
Wonder showed on Tatiana's face, and she muttered something in a language I didn't understand. She hadn't been born in the United States but had chosen to hold her Court here. She spoke with no accent, but, as they did for Dimitri, moments of surprise apparently brought out her native tongue. Within seconds, she put her stately mask back on.
"Hmm. Interesting," she said. Talk about an understatement.
"It could be very useful," said Priscilla. "Vasilisa and Adrian can't be the only two out there with it. If we could find others, so much could be learned. The healing itself is a gift, let alone anything else they can conjure. Just think what we could do with it."
Lissa turned optimistic. For a while, she'd been going out of her way to find others like her. Adrian had been the only one she'd discovered, and that had been through sheer luck. If the queen and Moroi council put their resources into it, there was no telling what they might find. Yet something about Priscilla's words troubled Lissa.
"Begging your pardon, Princess Voda…I'm not sure we should be so eager to use my—or others'—healing powers as much as you might want to."
"Why not?" asked Tatiana. "From what I understand, you can heal almost anything."
"I can…" said Lissa slowly. "And I want to. I wish I could help everybody, but I can't. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'll definitely help some people. But I know we'd run into other people like Victor, who want to abuse it. And after a while … I mean, how do you choose? Who gets to live? Part of life is that…well, some people have to die. My powers aren't a prescription you can get filled as needed, and honestly, I'm afraid they would only be used for, uh, certain kinds of people. Just like the guardians are."
A slight tension built in the room. What Lissa had insinuated was rarely ever mentioned in public.
"What are you talking about?" asked Tatiana with narrowed eyes. I could tell she already knew.
Lissa was scared to say her next words, but she did it anyway. "Everyone knows that there's a certain, um, method to how guardians are distributed. Only the elite get them. Royals. Rich people. People in power."
A chill fell over the room. Tatiana's mouth settled into a straight line. She didn't speak for several moments, and I had a feeling everyone else was holding their breath. I certainly was. "You don't think our royals deserve special protection?" she asked finally. "You don't think you do—the last of the Dragomirs?"
"I think keeping our leaders safe is important, yeah. But I also think we need to stop sometimes and look at what we're doing. It could be time to reconsider the way we've always done things."
Lissa sounded so wise and so self-assured. I was proud of her. Watching Priscilla Voda, I could see that she was proud too. She'd liked Lissa from the beginning. But I could also tell that Priscilla was nervous. She answered to the queen and knew that Lissa was swimming in dangerous waters.
Tatiana sipped her tea. I think it was an excuse to gather her thoughts. "I understand," she said, "that you're also in favor of Moroi fighting with the guardians and attacking Strigoi?"
Another dangerous topic, one Lissa pushed forward into. "I think if there are Moroi who want to, they shouldn't be denied the chance." Jill suddenly popped into my head.