Still, I found her whole situation cheering. Mia seemed happier and more open than she had during the entire time I'd known her. She seemed … free. Christian spoke my thoughts before I could.
"You've changed," he said.
"We've all changed," she corrected. "Especially you, Rose. I can't quite explain it."
"I don't think there's any way the five of us couldn't have changed," Christian pointed out. A moment later he corrected himself. "Four of us."
We all fell silent, thoughts of Mason weighing us down. Being with Christian, Eddie, and Mia stirred up that grief I always tried to hide, and I could see from their faces that they continually fought the same battle.
Conversation eventually turned toward all of us catching up on what had happened here and at the Academy. Yet I kept thinking about how Mia had said that I had changed more than the others. All I could think about was how out of control I'd felt lately, how half the time my actions and feelings didn't seem like my own. Sitting there, it almost seemed like Mia was controlled by all of her positive traits now—and I was controlled by my negative ones. Conversations with Adrian replayed through my head, reminding me about how I supposedly had such a dark, dark aura.
Maybe thinking about him summoned him, but he and Lissa eventually joined us. Their bar was probably in the same building, I realized. I'd been blocking her out and not paying much attention. Adrian hadn't completely gotten her drunk, thankfully, but she'd agreed to two drinks. I could feel a slight buzz through the bond and had to carefully shield it out.
She was as surprised as we'd been to see Mia but gave her a warm welcome and wanted to catch up. I'd heard most of this already, so I just listened and drank my chai. No coffee for me. Most guardians drank it the way Moroi drank blood, but I wouldn't touch the stuff.
"How'd your thing with the queen go?" Christian asked Lissa at one point.
"Not so bad," she said. "I mean, not great either. But she didn't yell at me or humiliate me, so that's a start."
"Stop being modest," said Adrian, putting his arm around her. "Princess Dragomir totally stood her ground. You should have seen it." Lissa laughed.
"I don't suppose she mentioned why she decided to let us come to the trial?" Christian asked stiffly. He didn't look very happy about the bonding that was taking place here—or about Adrian's arm.
Lissa's laughter faded, but she was still smiling. "Adrian did it."
"What?" Christian and I asked together.
Adrian, looking very pleased with himself, stayed quiet for a change and let Lissa do the talking. "He convinced her that we needed to be here. He apparently harassed her until she gave in."
"It's called 'persuasion, not 'harassment, " Adrian said. Lissa laughed again.
My own words about the queen came back to haunt me. Who's she? Just another Ivashkov. There are a ton of them. There were indeed. I eyed Adrian.
"How closely are you guys related?" The answer popped into my head from Lissa's. "She's your aunt."
"Great-aunt. And I'm her favorite great nephew. Well, I'm her only great nephew, but that's not important. I'd still be her favorite," he said.
"Unbelievable," said Christian.
"I'll second that," I said.
"None of you appreciate me. Why is it so hard to believe that I could make a real contribution in these dark times?" Adrian stood up. He was trying to sound outraged, but the smirk on his face indicated that he still found all of this pretty funny. "My cigarettes and I are going outside. At least they show me respect."
As soon as he left, Christian asked Lissa, "Were you getting drunk with him?"
"I'm not drunk. I only had two drinks," she said. "Since when did you get all conservative?"
"Since Adrian became a bad influence."
"Come on! He helped us get here. No one else was able to do it. He didn't have to, but he did. And you and Rose are sitting there, still acting like he's the most evil person on the planet." That wasn't exactly true. I was mostly sitting there like I had been hit in the head, still too dumbstruck to react.
"Yeah, and I'm sure he did it out of the kindness of his heart," muttered Christian.
"Why else would he do it?"
"Oh, gee, I wonder."
Lissa's eyes widened. "You think he did it for me? You think there's something going on with us?"
"You guys drink together, practice magic together, and go to elitist events together. What would you think?"
Mia and Eddie looked like they wanted to be somewhere else. I was starting to share the feeling.
Anger burned through Lissa, hitting me like a wave of heat. She was utterly outraged. Her fury didn't even have that much to do with Adrian, really. She was more upset at the thought of Christian not trusting her. And as for him, I needed no psychic powers to understand how he was feeling. He wasn't jealous simply because she was hanging out with Adrian. Christian was still jealous that Adrian had the kind of influence to pull this off for her. It was just like what Jesse and Ralf had described, about how the right connections could open the right doors—connections that Christian didn't have.
I kneed Christian's leg, hoping he'd get the hint that he really should stop talking before things got worse. Lissa's anger was intensifying, muddled with embarrassment as she began to doubt herself and wonder if she had been getting too close to Adrian. The whole thing was ridiculous.
"Christian, for the love of God. If Adrian did this for anyone, it was because of me and his crazy obsession. He bragged awhile ago that he could do it, and I didn't believe it." I turned to Lissa. I needed to get her calm and diffuse those dark feelings that could cause so much trouble for her when they ran out of control. "Liss, you might not be wasted exactly, but you need to chill out for an hour before having this conversation. You're going to say something as stupid as Christian, and I'll be the one who has to deal with the mess—like always."
I'd gotten worked up and expected someone to tell me how bitchy I sounded. Instead, Lissa relaxed and offered Christian a smile. "Yeah, we should definitely talk about this later. A lot's kind of happened today."
He hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah. Sorry I jumped all over you." He returned her smile, fight patched up.
"So," Lissa asked Mia, "who have you met here?"
I stared at them in amazement, but no one seemed to notice. I'd fixed their fight, and there'd been no acknowledgment. No Thank you, Rose, for pointing out how idiotic we're being. It was bad enough I had to endure their romance day after day, with no consideration for how I felt. Now I was salvaging their relationship, and they didn't even realize it.
"I'll be right back," I said, interrupting Mia's description of some of the other teenagers here. I was afraid if I sat there, I was going to say something I'd regret or maybe break a chair. Where had this rage come from?
I went outside, hoping a gulp of cold air would calm me down. Instead, I got a face full of clove smoke.
"Don't start in about the smoking," warned Adrian. He was leaning against the building's brick wall. "You didn't have to come outside. You knew I was here."
"That's actually why I'm here. Well, that, and I felt like I was going to go crazy if I stayed inside another minute."
He tilted his head to look at my face. His eyebrows shot up. "You aren't kidding, are you? What happened? You were fine a few minutes ago."
I paced across the ground in front of him. "I don't know. I was fine. Then Christian and Lissa started having this stupid argument over you. It was weird. They were the ones who were mad—and then I ended up madder than both of them."