But the plane soon leveled out, and the air was breathable before she blacked out. They must not have been very high when it happened.
She opened the bathroom door and stepped back into the main cabin.
The side door was partway open. And standing a couple of meters back from it was Achilles, the wind whipping at his hair and clothes. He was posing, as if he knew just how fine a figure he cut, standing there on the brink of death.
She approached him, glancing at the door to make sure she stayed well back from it, and to see how high they were. Not very, compared to cruising altitude, but higher than any building or bridge or dam. Anyone who fell from this plane would die.
Could she get behind him and push?
He smiled broadly when she got near.
"What happened?" she shouted over the noise of the wind.
"It occurred to me," he yelled back, "that I made a mistake bringing you with me."
He opened the door on purpose. He opened it for her.
Just as she began to step back, his hand lashed out and seized her by the wrist.
The intensity of his eyes was startling. He didn't look crazy. He looked ... fascinated. Almost as if he found her amazingly beautiful. But of course it wasn't her It was his power over her that fascinated him. It was himself that he loved so intensely.
She didn't try to pull away. Instead, she twisted her wrist so that she also gripped him.
"Come on, let's jump together," she shouted. "That would be the most romantic thing we could do."
He leaned close. "And miss out on all the history we're going to make together?" he said. Then he laughed. "Oh, I see, you thought I was going to throw you out of the plane. No, Pet, I took hold of you so that I could anchor you while you close the door. Wouldn't want the wind to suck you out, would we?"
"I have a better idea," said Petra. "I'll be the anchor, you close the door."
"But the anchor has to be the stronger, heavier one," said Achilles. "And that's me."
"Let's just leave it open, then," said Petra.
"Can't fly all the way to Kabul with the door open."
What did it mean, his telling her their destination? Did it mean that he trusted her a little? Or that it didn't matter what she knew, since he had decided she was going to die?
Then it occurred to her that if he wanted her dead, she would die. It was that simple. So why worry about it? If he wanted to kill her by pushing her out the door, how was that different from a bullet in the brain? Dead was dead. And if he didn't plan to kill her, the door needed to be closed, and having him serve as anchor was the secondbest plan.
"Isn't there somebody in the crew who can do this?" she asked.
"There's just the pilot," said Achilles. "Can you land a plane?"
She shook her head.
"So he stays in the cockpit, and we close the door."
"I don't mean to be a nag," said Petra, "but opening the door was a really stupid thing to do."
He grinned at her.
Holding tight to his wrist, she slid along the wall toward the door. It was only partially open, the kind of door that worked by sliding up. So she didn't have to reach very far out of the plane. Still, the cold wind snatched at her arm and made it very hard to get a grip on the door handle to pull it down into place. And even when she got it down into position, she simply didn't have the strength to overcome the wind resistance and pull it snug.
Achilles saw this, and now that the door wasn't open enough for anyone to fall out and the wind could no longer suck anybody out, he let go of her and of the bulkhead and joined her in pulling at the handle.
If I push instead of pulling, thought Petra, the wind will help me, and maybe we'll both get sucked right out.
Do it, she told herself. Do it. Kill him. Even if you die doing it, it's worth it. This is Hitler, Stalin, Genghis, Attila all rolled into one.
But it might not work. He might not get sucked out. She might die alone, pointlessly. No, she would have to find a way to destroy him later, when she could be sure it would work.
At another level, she knew that she simply wasn't ready to die. No matter how convenient it might be for the rest of humanity, no matter how richly Achilles deserved to die, she would not be his executioner, not now, not if she had to give her own life to kill him. If that made her a selfish coward, so be it.
They pulled and pulled and finally, with a whoosh, the door passed the threshold of wind resistance and locked nicely into place. Achilles pulled the lever that locked it.
"Traveling with you is always such an adventure," said Petra.
"No need to shout," said Achilles. "I can hear you just fine."
"Why can't you just run with the bulls at Pamplona, like any normal selfdestructive person?" asked Petra.
He ignored her gibe. "I must value you more than I thought." He said it as if it took him rather by surprise.
"You mean you still have a spark of humility? You might actually need someone else?"
Again he ignored her words. "You look better without blood all over your face."
"But I'll never be as pretty as you."
"Here's my rule about guns," said Achilles. "When people are getting shot, always stand behind the shooter. It's a lot less messy there."
"Unless people are shooting back."
Achilles laughed. "Pet, I never use a gun when someone might shoot back."
"And you're so well-mannered, you always open a door for a lady."
His smile faded. "Sometimes I get these impulses," he said. "But they're not irresistible."
"Too bad. And here you had such a good insanity defense going."
His eyes blazed for a moment. Then he went back to his seat.
She cursed herself. Goading him like this, how is it different from jumping out of the airplane?
Then again, maybe it was the fact that she spoke to him without cringing that made him value her.
Fool, she said to herself. You are not equipped to understand this boy-you're not insane enough. Don't try to guess why he does what he does, or how he feels about you or anybody or anything. Study him so you can learn how he makes his plans, what he's likely to do, so that someday you can defeat him. But don't ever try to understand. If you can't even understand yourself, what hope do you have of comprehending somebody as deformed as Achilles?
They did not land in Kabul. They landed in Tashkent, refueled, and then went over the Himalayas to New Delhi.
So he lied to her about their destination. He hadn't trusted her after all. But as long as he refrained from killing her, she could endure a little mistrust.
COMMUNING WITH THE DEAD
To: Carlotta%agape@vatican.net/orders/sisters/ind
From: Locke%erasmus@polnet.gov
Re: An answer for your dead friend
If you know who I really am, and you have contact with a certain person purported to be dead, please inform that person that I have done my best to fulfill expectations. I believe further collaboration is possible, but not through intermediaries. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, then please inform me of that, as well, so I can begin my search again.
Bean came home to find that Sister Carlotta had packed their bags.
"Moving day?" he asked.
They had agreed that either one of them could decide that it was time to move on, without having to defend the decision. It was the only way to be sure of acting on any unconscious cues that someone was closing in on them. They didn't want to spend their last moments of life listening to each other say, "I knew we should have left three days ago!" "Well why didn't you say so?" "Because I didn't have a reason."
"We have two hours till the flight."
"Wait a minute," said Bean. "You decide we're going, I decide the destination." That was how they'd decided to keep their movements random.
She handed him the printout of an email. It was from Locke. "Greensboro, North Carolina, in the U.S.," she said.